STAMMERING A BLACK HOLE

In my case stammering is not just a disorder but a Black hole , it is sucking all my energy ,thoughts and positivity . i cannot concentrate on anything . Starting from the morning till night my whole day's energy , thoughts moves around stammering .I dont remember any moment when i had said that i am enjoying life , i am just passing time and waiting for my end .I cannot think beyond stammering . I am full of shame , anger guilt and fear .But HOW TO THINK BEYOND STAMMERING & DESTROY THE BLACK HOLE .

GORAV DATTA ( HAAN MEIN HALKATA HUN )

Lets Control Dopamine

some day back i was watching a recording of programme telecasted on CNN ,they were saying " stuttering is a neuorological condition".so there may be chances that scientist can develop some kind of medicine or pill to control/cure stammering .

their dr macguire says that stammering is not due to physcological weakness but due to anomatical problem in brain which is miscommunication between brain, speech center, mouth, thought and tongue in getting word out.

ganglia is part of brain which controls the speech .there are some other parts of brain which tell us what we want to say ,formation of word and finaly a part of brain which initiate speech we call this part as striatal.....after some test they conculed in pws striatal is bombarded by to much of dopamine(may be this the reason for stammering) and level of dopamine is directly realted with our thought, anxiety etc etc. ....

macguire and other researcher believe some anti anxiety medicine can control stammering by controling dopamin and they claim this medicine has no side effect(forgot the name of medicine) but they are still doing clinical trail...(dont want comment about side effect of medicine, accoding to me their may be some side effect which may come on picture latter )

one pws said that he experienced free flow of thought that he never before

so in shot controlling dopamin level can control our sammering but is anti anxiety pil is only way to controll dopamine..surly not, one can controll his anxiety by many way like boldly facing facing fear situation(fatest way) or by controlling thoughts which causes anxiety by practing meditation, (according to me controlling anxiety is just one benefit of meditation)

i used big word of medical science just to impress readers :-)

I am Gorav..

My name is Gorav Datta . My age is 24 .
I live in yamuna nagar , haryana . I am a stammerer since my childhood and i find difficulty in speaking almost every word .I am trying to speak atleast few words fluently from last many years but couldnt ,those words are " Mummy , Papa and My name too.
i went too bhubneshwar,orrisa to attend the first national conference of TISA .After attending the conference i was upset because i was not a stammerer but a stammerer among the stammerers (My stammering was too bad respect of the other stammerer).

My first meeting in SHG at chandigarh dated on 28/01/2012

it was my first joining in SHG(SELF HELP GROUP) at Chandigarh in park sec-33.it was very great experience for me. i learnt a lot in this meeting in co-ordination of Mr. sumit.he told us various method of speaking like bouncing etc.we played bum bum game as well as.i am feeling very glad to join that group and following all method of speaking told by Mr. sumit. i have wish to join every SHG organised in Chandigarh.

Delhi SHG welcomes Nitin, Prabhat and Vikas....

From left Jitender, Ranga, Prabhat, Sinkender Sir, Nitin, Pramendra(Photographer)

We reached to Central Park at 11:00 AM. We had three new members in this meeting Prabhat Srivastav, Nitin Garg, Vikas Ranga(me). Old members were Sikander, Pramindra and Jiternder. The activities we did are as follows:
1. Goal: 
In this activity, everybody has to tell what goal he would keep in his mind while talking so that others can remind him. e.g.: to maintain eye contact, to use bouncing technique etc.
2. Introduction and listening skills:
Firstly we had a brief introduction and after that we did an activity on listening skills because "Good speaker must be a good listener and People who Stammer (PWS) always think about their speech while group discussion so it was necessary". I like to describe by an example, we were sitting like as shown in picture here. "Person 1" had to tell the intro of any one person and that any one person was decided by "person 2". Then "person 3" told to "person 2" to tell intro of "person 5"(say).
3. Current Status of Stammering: 
In this activity, everybody had to tell about his current status of stammering. Pramendra said great thing. He said, "My stammering has been increased but its a positive sign". I would like explain this statement by 4 phases of time as shown below in figure:

%age of Stammering varies person to person

In 1st Phase: You are not following any treatment of stammering, so you are avoiding the situations as well as blocking words. So people are not thinking that you are a stammerer but stammering remains always in your mind in this phase.
In 2nd Phase: You are neither avoiding situations nor blocking words and using the techniques bouncing and prolongation etc., so people will think that you are stammering more but you are feeling more relax. So, physically stammering increasing but mentally decreasing in this phase.
In 3rd Phase: You become master of all techniques and your stammering decreases physically also.
In 4th Phase: You become a normal speaker and they also stammer little bit.
4. Presentation and listening skills: 
Everybody had to present a topic for just 2 minutes and same listening skills activity followed after that. This time each person told name of the topic and asked any question from that topic with same rules.
5. Voluntary Stuttering:
Generally we think that if we'll stammer in front of people what they think. Then voluntary stuttering is a good option to get answer these type of questions. So, we just moved to people. We stammered and asked what they think while see any stammerer? how to overcome this problem? Voluntary Stuttering is kind a practical stuff not theoretically one which gives you positive thoughts.

It was a great experience for all of us. Hope we will follow all the rules and just chill out!!!!! :-)

FEELINGS

Time 3.00 AM

Don’t know why, just aise hi, was searching something and opened pics of National conference, Hell yaar I am missing those days, I am missing all friends that were with me in the NC. Some of my friends said that I have gained a lot of confidence and have been stuttering less after coming from NC. I don’t know is it in reality or not but I just know one thing, those days were great, in fact awesome. I am just planning to give my exams and to get pass too so that I can attend as many workshops I want. Also to relive those NC days again. I don’t know what I am writing, seriously but it’s just I felt that I should share this feeling with all of you. I have attended 2 self help meetings too after coming from Bhubaneswar and meeting 3 more new people was also a great experience in meeting(expanding social circle lolz). So that’s it. J)

P.S. I am still wearing that NC band in my hand “STUTTER LIKE A ROCKSTAR” like a one in my heart “HAKLAO MAGAR PYAR SE”.

Delhi SHG meeting on 28th Jan

Delhi SHG will be meeting on 29th Januarary (Sunday) at 11AM at central park near Connaught Place. You all are most welcome to come and share your valuable experiences with stammering.

For any queries contact Pramendra +91-96543-63005

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The Vicious Pain-Body

All stutterers,whether moderate or severe have experienced a very over-powering feeling right before and after they stutter.Usually,the thoughts in your head before you stutter is like,"Should I speak or keep quiet ???""Man,I am gonna block on my name!!!""I wish I hadn't come here and should have made some excuse !!!"
The usual feelings accompanying these thoughts are of guilt and fear.Then after a stuttering experience,you have thoughts like"I wish I could die".i am a hopeless person,not even managing to say my name"I hate myself".I am so pathetic,i am never gonna make any friends,forget a girl-friend" ans so on and so forth.
The feelings accompanying these thoughts are of shame,guilt,hopelessness etc.
And no matter how hard you try,no matter how much practice you do,you just cant speak fluently when it matters the most.Here is where a PAIN-BODY comes into play.

So whats a pain-body ??? A pain body can be thought of as a parasite that feeds on your negative feelings and just love when you have negative thoughts,as it gets more negative feelings to gobble away,and the more it eats,the stronger it becomes.The more stronger it becomes,the more it is able to take control over your body and mind.There are various pain bodies like FEAR Pain-body,GUILT Pain-body,etc.etc.These pain-bodies love to grow stronger day by day and aim to take control of your body.

Remember,the over-powering feeling you have just before and after a block,these are the times the pain-bodies are the strongest,they make sure you are unable to apply your techniques,so that they can feed on the negative feelings you will have when you block.The primary reason according to me as to why you cant speak well in a feared situation is that in such a situation,the pain body takes you over ,so that it can remain alive.

So what to do now ????? Its a fact that you cant destroy a pain-body,but what you can do is stop its supply of food,by not having negative thoughts about the situation !!!
Next question- How to do that ??? One answer can be to consciously think of positive thoughts,but trust me,it doesnt work,I have tried it myself.Even if you manage to say positive words at that time,but they are at best at the superficial level.So what to do ????

Just two words-Acceptance and Presence.Instead of unsuccessfully fooling yourself that everything is ok,just accept that you stuttered badly,and let all the emotions come up no matter how negative are they,BUT and its very important,DON'T IDENTIFY WITH THESE FEELINGS i.e. to say let these feelings remain feelings,dont start thinking your never ending stupid thoughts of how you are a failure,you wont get a job,etc.etc. and hence feed these feelings,just allow them to come up,accept them for what they are,and let them go.Dont cling on to them.Pass them off as mere feelings.The best way to do this to be in the PRESENT.Just be aware of the present and you will automatically snap out of these thoughts and emotions.Its the best and shortest way.

And when you do this,you deny the pain-body its food,and slowly the pain-body will diminish,and in feared situations,you will slowly start taking over instead of the pain-bodies.But be patient,the pain-body is very strong at this time,it will take a lot deal of acceptance and presence on your part to starve and dissolve it and slowly take over your life.

PS- All this pain-body concept has been taken from Eckhart Tolle's book,I have just modified it for the stuttering community.:-)

PUNE SHG

I am Amol karale from pune.I want to form pune shg again. Anybody interested in joining pune shg kindly contact on following details.

My number-8888783618

Email id is amolkarale9763@gmail.com

Or

Contact   Mr. Sanjeet Khanuja.He is the shg coordinator.His number is 9860090408 .His email id is not known to me I will get it confirmed from him and will put it later.

Chandigarh Wagon kicks off again !!!!!

After a long sleep,the Chandigarh SHG is back in action again.Today 4 of us,Sumeet,Anupinder,Ravinder and myself met in the sec-33 park.As this was the first meet,we drafted out the goals each of us expected the shg to carry out for us.Some of these goals are:-

1) Mock interview for Sumeet
2)Phone practice for all of us
3)Strangers interaction
4) G.D. practice for Ravinder.
5)Plus a very special aim(Sumeet's idea) of the shg is to conduct an awareness program or a street play or a play in tagore theatre which will be conducted by TISA,we plan to carry this out with the help of all the TISA members,and we have given ourselves 6 months to carry out this goal.So Harish you better start working on a script.:-)

And one thing that I have decided as the coordinator(with the consent of others of course) is that there will be no hard fast rules regarding speech tools,acceptance practices,etc.etc.Yes,we will be covering all the aspects and even practice everything with the outside world but we will leave it to the individual on what course he wants to follow.e.g.-A person who wants to work on his fluency or another one who thinks he wants to practice just acceptance are free to adopt whatever practices they want.In short,everybody will be free to create his own path to success.Flexibility,I think,will take this shg far.Nothing is wrong or right,but everybody is free to give his opinions to help a person make the best decision for himself.

Also we will be starting a contribution towards the shg ranging from Rs 100-500 which will be used in our activities in public transport,restaurants,etc.

In the last 20 minutes,we did discuss the need to eliminate our secondary symptoms,and practiced our symptoms voluntary,we have planned to work on our secondary symptoms in the next meet as well.We ended our day with tea and bread pakora and also met Anup's mother. 

To be relaxed...

Few days back, i come across an incident of Maharshi Ramana's life.

Maharshi Ramana was very fond of travelling to some mountains near his ashram.One night, he decided to visit those mountains throughly as he had always been forced to get down in the mid way due to shortage of time.So, he announced in his ashram that he had decided to get up very early in the next morning to get a through site seeing of those mountains.He also decided to keep a full day fast the same day.

As per planning, he get started very early with fast legs to the venue.Only after a few minutes, he saw few ladies waiting on the way for him.They got the news about his today's journey so they had brought a loads of delicious meals for him.They greeted him and requested him to take a short break and have the meals as it would help him in his journey.Seeing their affection,love and gratitude, he thought it would hurt them if he denied their food.So, in-spite of his fast, he had the meal. Similarly, he was offered meals 2-3 times again in his journey.He had them all.Due to all these short frequent breaks, he even could not travel upwards as much as he used to, before starting walking downwards.

So, here i understood a very point that he didn't hurt/refuse his lovers/followers of their offerings/meals even though he supposed to have a fast and also, all those breaks were creating hurdles in his journey.For him, not to hurt them was more important than his fast or his site seeing.

He was perfectly comfortable with his ownself.He was perfectly in peace with himself.He was not a man of strict discipline, rather a man who welcomes life as it comes.It is quite an different sort of saint's thing than those epic saints who used to screw someone very hard even if that living being didn't hurt them or break their meditations knowingly.

Similarly, what i think, anyone should be perfectly in peace with himself.To be too desperate for something is not at all required, even any speech improvement.

Sometimes, i used to be so desperate to complete my words that it gets weird for me as well as the listener.Some thing like it is a question of life and death for me.

But, the point is, what if....i don't make it?? what if i just can't complete my words?

Simple, nothing is going to happen.It is not going to be as harmful as i perceives.

So, i just thought it worth to share this lovely story with my fellow peers :-)

MY FIRST BLOG

I am Amol karale.I am a pws from pune. Actually I hails from ahemdnagar(city 120 km from pune).As my father was being serving in Indian army so he posted in pune.He is retried now. Currently we are planning to settle in pune .

I am stammering since class 6^th.Till class 5^th or 6^th starting I was proud that I am a good reader. Teachers always tell me to read in class. Suddenly in class 6^th I noticed that I am speaking somewhat different. I was repeating words. I was speaking very late. Teachers and my classmates starting nagging me   “arre thik se padh aise kya padh raha hai  dheere padh na bhag kyun raha hai”.

I noticed sometimes that I was fluent but at some situations I was blocking or taking some time to speak.I was blocking while reading teachers told  me that “atak atak ke padhoge toh ye chapter kab khatam hoga tum mat padho” some other student will read that chapter. My thinking changed after that I was thinking that I am not able to speak. I became a silent person. I always prefer last bench so that I can hide from teachers.I was not even noticing what I was doing why I am doing. I tried to escape situations where I have to speak. Whenever new session of class begins, like during starting of class 9^th the first thing teacher do is taking introduction. At that time I was even blocking at my name. Teachers say repeat your name again. I noticed that my stammering was getting worse day by day.Whenever a teacher enters into class my thinking was that “aaj mujhse na pooch le kuch pooch liye toh kya hoga student’s kya sochenge teachers kya sochenge”. During parent teacher meeting teachers told my parents that he does not speak in class, does not answer any question. These were the days when my stammering got worse. My tuition teacher also told my parent that “ye atak atak ke bolta hai”. At that time even I and my parents don’t know there is a speech impediment naming stammering. Parents thought that I am afraid of people. So my parents also started to nagging me as it is natural that if a child is speaking properly in home but when goes outside speaks in some different way.

Suddenly I get relief hearing when I came to know my father posting has come. But it was also making me tense because of thinking of new school new friends’ new teachers. At new school I was fluent for some time (I think the reason was I was not thinking about stammering).But slowly my speech showed its true colors. Teachers were telling me to recite news or thought at stage during the school morning assembly I somehow manage to escape that situations. I started judging days as good days or bad days. My mindset got fully changed I was saying no to every task, whether going to shop or to friends home or tuitions. During class 12^th in my practicals I was not even able to tell the aim of practical which I have performed. I somehow manage to pass class 12^th from school.

Now its future time I never have develop any interest in any entrance examinations like CET,IIT,AIEEE I thought that how will I be able to do engineering if I am not able to speak I heard that during engineering we have to give lot of orals exam and presentations. I decided to do Bsc in computer science .First year of graduation gone well. But in second year there were presentations to give as I not expected that. I somehow manage to skip these presentations also. I lost my concentration from studies to stammering. I was always thinking that what will I do if I am not able to speak? During the ending of second year I came to know about stammering from a television show. At this time my father came to know that there is a speech impediment naming stammering. Then I started taking speech therapy in pune .I get little relief from it but not completely. I was thinking that I am wasting my parent’s money in speech therapy since my speech was the same again. At this time I have almost lost my concentration from studies. I somehow manage to complete my graduation but I got less marks here.

There was biggest question in front of me what to do next?????

I decided that I will also do post graduation. I have 2 options to do Msc(computer science also known as MCS) or MCA.I decided to do MCA because MCS is a 2 year course and per sem we have to give presentations and MCA is 3 year course here I will get more time to work on my speech.

Currently I am in first year of mca. During the starting of MCA I came to know about TISA. Pune shg was not regularly taking place.But the coordinators somehow take time and conducted some shg meeting. Here First I came to know that ACCEPTANCE is solution for it and after accepting working on it. After that I started accepting that I am person who stammers I told my friends and my teachers. As a result teachers give me time to speak. Friends also wait till I complete my sentence. I don’t feel any guilt in stammering now. My attitude towards stammering has changed now.

I never thought that acceptance will be a solution for such a problem. THANKS to TISA and pune shg coordinators MR. pravin dixit,MR. sanjeet khanujha,MR. Rupesh Mishra. They have taken some time from their busy schedule and come for meetings.

At present I am trying to form a Pune  shg again with some pws .I know there is much practice needed to get progress in speech. I am concentrating fully on my studies now as to get a good job I should get good marks first and practicing various techniques like bouncing, slow reading and prolongation.

 Again Thanks to TISA

Sorry for any grammatical and spelling mistakes

Amol  karale

Humor with stammering

Hello to all my stutter friends. Perhaps I am writing a post here after a little long time. I really enjoyed my first national conference which I attended with my friends. It was never forgettable experience for me. I enjoyed every moment which I spend there. Now stammering doesn’t seem like a problem for me because I have so many friends like me and now I know which path has to follow. Each and every person there was unique and gave us a strong message that how we can live happily, even with obstacles in our life. Thanks to all my cool friends and guru’s by help of them now I feel so much lighter, open and better.  Today I want to share a little humor with you people which happened with me last week.

     I was coming back to my hostel with my friends. On the way I had to say something to them. I was unable to utter one particular word. Every time I tried to speak the word; only aaaaaaae… sound comes. I tried few times more but only aaaaaaae sound comes in a stretch manner And Every time I tried to speak , my friends became quite to listen me, and Then I say only aaaaaaa…After couple of more attempts I was able to spoke out that word. It was “ATM” And then we all had a great laugh. I joked them that I can't speak simple words sometimes because I love to face difficult one. Then I spoke this word again few times in a fluent and relax manner and gave them proof that “Dekha, mai isse aasani se bol skata hu, wo tho mje tumhe hasana tha isliye. ", And again we had a big laugh together. If I would have to face similar type of situation few times ago (before joining TISA) then it would be a quite painful and shameful for me. But now I can laugh on my stammering and also can laugh others.  What is benefit of weeping or leaving the work if someone laughs? Is it bad to laugh?? NO. It is only bad when others are laughing and we are damn serious. Join others to enjoy a great laugh. It is also a part of acceptance if you love the way you speak.

From Newzealand!

Took the New Year holidays as an opportunity to catch up with Sachin Srivastava at Herbetpur.

Was greeted by a simple, vibrant looking Sachin at Dehradun in the afternoon. Herbetpur is quite a journey from Dehradun. The journey gave time to share my experiences with stammering moderate to severely, speech therapy, spiritual pursuits, meeting other stammerers. Sachin's opinions and suggestions showed his wisdom and experience in dealing with stammering himself. It was interesting to understand the influence of spiritual practise on Sachin's recovery from stammering via acceptance, self-help techniques and awareness in the society.

delhi shg meeting

Dear friend many of us never participate in annual function or republic day function at our college life or school life due to stammering. so delhi shg conducting a meeting on 22/1/2012 at central park on 11a.m.. so that we may be a part of  or see a glimpse of our school days. so your most welcome and you are free to give speech, anthom, poem on republic day. for any queries please contact abhishek (9873492722).. thanks.

Giving-up is an easy option

As a stammer and also from my experiences of stammering till now, I must say this line “Giving up is an very easy option”. This begins when I was pursuing my graduation, everyday I woke up in the morning; I always used to think that my stammering must cured someday. Let don’t waste my time on my stammering and then I moved up in my regular routine work. Meanwhile I faced lots of problem, but really I  don’t much care about it. When I was on my 3^rd year, Campuses are going on my college, then I realized that day “ohh shit what I’ll done with my stammering”, I am not able to talk in front of any person even in my own comfort zone. How could I face the world with my stammering. That day I realized the real meaning of  Giving-up is an very easy option.

Those person who had given up his life is worthless, has no self-respect of his own and he is always pretending to be as good in front of everyone, but he's not that. The people became real and successful when he overcomes all the obstacles they faced and never let their disabilities come in their path of glory. Such people are numerous who are a motivation for others, by proving that nothing is impossible when you have the will and determination to do it. You have to committed to your work, you must love your work from heart, be passionate of what you are doing. Accepting your defeat means you are quit to your work

I am recently searching on net about how to build your positive self image, the best answer I got is “Looking at a Mirror”, By looking at a mirror tell yourself some positive words. For example, ‘I am a successful person’, ‘I love you’, ‘I believe in you’,’ All the time you are making a right decision’,’ you are a winner’. Notice your own positive traits of character. Fall in love with yourself regardless of who you are right now. Little by little you will see yourself quite different.

Given up is doesn’t mean that you accepted your defeat, it also mean that you had now “no aim" left in your life. Life without aim is life without the meaning, and there will be no challenges in life. It’ll just like a running car without a driver.So never give up to your life and just believe of what you are doing.

Delhi SHG welcomes Anshul, Jitendra and Mukesh (15 Jan)

Delhi SHG met on 15Jan (Sunday) after a long time. It was the first meeting after the National Conference. There were three new members this time Mukesh, Jitendra and Anshul and the surprise of this meet is the new co-ordinator of TISA, Mr. Jai Prakash Sunda (JP Sir). Except them our old SHG members Dr. Kshitiz, Anup, Harshvir, Sikander, Arun, Abhishek, Saurabh and Pramendra were also present. The activities we did are as follows...

Psychological Test: After a brief introduction of one another we shared our experiences from National Conference to the members who weren't able to attend it. After that Sikander sir conducted a test about the psychological effects of stammering on us. There were 15 wonderful questions to be answered in Yes/No only. All of us have filled them honestly and then we assessed discussed and our psychological problems attached with stammering and how to get over with them. JP sir and Pramendra also discussed their practical aspects in our daily life and talked about the importance of observing your problems objectively.

Stammer Effortlessly: After that we divided us in two groups. One group was of all the new members and JP Sir and the other was of rest of the members. JP Sir described some techniques to our new members which will help them to stammer effortlessly.

Group Discussion: The other group of our old SHG members did a Group Discussion on the topic 'Should India improve our relationships with Pakistan' using 'PAUSING' technique. It was a very healthy discussion. All the members shared their point of views while talking with pauses and most of them were very valid and genuine.

Relaxing in Interview: After that we also did a mock panel interview of one of our members with 'Eating while talking Activity' for being relax while Q & A in an interview.

With this last activity we conclude our meeting. We missed our regular members Umesh and Pinakin. Overall, it was a wonderful experience for all of us and we enjoyed it a lot. Thanks to all the members who were or weren't present. Hope we will meet soon.

Radio Mirchi

31st Dec- we sang and sang and sang in to new year!

Is it "practical"?

Just came across two news items- one about Gareth and the other about a pws, who narrates a story in a high drama theatrical in Brooklyn..

These lines from Gareth are very relevant to those pws who have attneded a Communication workshop- or plan to:
“The McGuire programme changed my life. It is not a cure and my speech is something I have to constantly keep on working on. There are days I put more in and days I don’t and I become complacent and slip backwards. I’m now one of the instructors on the programme. Again it is about giving something back and helping change a stammerer’s life, how it helped change mine." (link)

This second news item needs some patience- Keep on reading till it makes sense, and when it does- WOWwww- that is what you will say, I hope! (link)
Keep on stretching the limits of what you think is PRACTICAL for you in 2012..

Sunday With Santosh

Today I spent my Sunday at Santosh’s house with his family. It was a memorable experience for me. With the warm welcome and loving hospitality I was beginning to feel comfortable and at home right from the time I stepped into the house. In no time, Santosh’s kids, (4 year old daughter Swara and 1 year old son Swarit) mingled with me and pulled me to play with them.

Santosh and I played Snakes and Ladders with Swara. As we played with Swara I began to think how analogous our life is like this game... for a moment we race up the ladder but on another we fall down gulped by the snakes. Swara was excited with every ladder she climbed and was overjoyed and elated when she managed to defeat us and win the game. Then she led us to another game of riding the train. Swara played the engine and Santosh and I were the bogies. Santosh’s one year old kid Swarit was clinging on to his dad’s leg sending a message that he is also in the game!

The lunch was sumptuous and simply delicious. On the occasion of Sankranti there were Puran Poli for lunch. Santosh, his wife and I exchanged a lot of stories and memories of SHG meetings and workshops over lunch. I also shared a few stories of the Bhubaneshwar conference. Santosh’s wife was very supportive of the idea of Self-help group and she opined that such a group is very much necessary for PWS to come out and speak.

Swara then showed her skills with dance, as she performed on “Kolaveri Di” and “Chikni Chameli”.

By spending a day at Santosh’s house, talking to him and his wife and playing with his kids, I have had one of the best Sunday’s I had for a long time. Santosh is parting away. He is leaving Goa and is going back to his home town Mumbai soon. SHG’s create a bonding that is certainly beyond self-help and stammering.

Santosh has plans to revive Mumbai Group. Watchout Romi and Sanket! The star from Goa is coming to rock Mumbai…

We all from Goa wish Santosh all the best for his future endeavours. 

DELHI SHG MEETING

delhi shg meeting will be held on 15/1/2012 at central park on 11 a.m. for any queries please contact abhishek(9873492722) . thanks......

Cure Your Fear

I always find myself complaining that no matter what I do,my fear always tends to overpower me in a speaking situation and I start substituting and avoiding words.No matter how much meditation,how much blogging I do,this fear never tends to go.

Today,I found my answer !!!!!!

I was reading a book by a very famous motivator Dr.Schwartz in which he so rightly says:-"The biggest cure of fear is ACTION".
Let me give you an example.I went to Rishikesh last to last year to do water-rafting.In between we all had to jump from a high cliff.Now I had 2 very different friends with me.The first one (lets call him A) just climbed the cliff,not once looked down and jumped.Just like that.I actually thought at that moment that it was damn too easy.But then my other friend (lets call him B),went towards the cliff,he just stood there for a minute,just lost into God knows what thoughts.That 1 minute of thinking cost him the jump.No matter how much we motivated him to jump,he just couldnt,and its not like he was trying,he was putting in every bit of strength he had in him,to jump but just couldnt.Each of us jumped 3 times but he just stood there.And till date he repents that he couldnt enjoy the thrill of that jump.

Thats precisely what happens to the majority of us in everyday life.Just before we are faced with a speaking situation,instead of just speaking out,we start weighing the  possible pros and cons our less than perfect speech might have.And once we have these thoughts its GAME OVER.Then we spend the rest of the day,drenched in self-pity and feeling both sorry and agitated at ourselves.

Even during the national conference,we had to introduce ourselves many times.The times when I spoke when someone asked me to were the times when  so much fear used to accumulate inside of me,that I thought I was going to faint but once I just rose my hand when introduction started without thinking twice and it was the best feeling ever,I stuttered less but more importantly,I didnt let any fear to accumulate inside of me and it was the greatest feeling.It felt so light.

In the example I gave before,it wasnt the jump that was difficult but it was the wait for the jump that was excruciating. Mr A acted and just jumped and hence didnt allow any fear to overpower him and we all know what happened to Mr B.

Similarly,its not the actual speech which is difficult but its the fear of stuttering that does the most of the damage.We all know that the longer we postpone talking to someone,the more difficult it becomes.

As Dr Schwartz puts it "Use actions to gain confidence and cure fear. Action feeds and strengthens confidence,inaction in all forms feeds fear.To fight fear-act.To increase fear-wait,put-off and postpone."

So the next time you are faced with a difficult speaking situation,just stand up and speak without thinking twice.Stop waiting for the time when everything would be perfect and just speak up.Because no matter how much deep breathing you do,no matter how much affirmations you say,without action-you cant cure fear.Its the hard hitting truth,the sooner you realize it,the further in life you will go.

www.mystammer.blogspot.com

Mindfulness..

Those of us who are interested in Meditation, Vipassana, Brahmavidya etc. might be happy to know that Mindfulness is being taken seriously as an approach to stammering therapy now.. Yadgar has shared the article with me. Here is the link:
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0094730X11000386
Thanks a lot, Yadgar!

My personal experiences...

Now we all return back to our real life. All had a great time in bhubneswar. A tour with full of learning, joy. The first question arises in my mind after returning back is that what I learn from NC, did I learn the techniques, did i satisfied myself from being a part of TISA?

The answer is “yes” I learn how I make happy to myself with stuttering.

Before joining TISA, i am helpless, immature guy regarding stammering. I was always thinking that I am the only lonely person in this planet, but I was totally wrong.

I meet some great personality (Dr sachin, Jp sir, Elaine, Mahapatra, Manimaran sir,Raja sir) who already achieved something in his/her life. They are not a celebrities, superstar, but they now became ideal, inspired person for me. There are also lots of stories I heard from different people. All are “heart crying stories”. So for all.” behind every successful man, there always a sad stories”. We can make these sad stories to happy ending stories. I remember a idiom here..

“What is the cross (*)…it is a minus (-), that turned into a plus (+)”

Life’s happiness can’t controlled by anyone. So just let happiness do their work and we do our work. When we block in some sentence, we do many things to get rid of that “high voltage drama” thus our mindset changes. Here I want to underline a great say by Dr mahapatra…”if your mind changes, then your performance also decreases”. So never let you down  “god help them, who help for himself”. I know I am only saying this, but hope I will strictly follow these things.

The most interesting part of this NC that I noticed, that all are so interactive in nature. All are so desperately waiting to talk to each other. Some of them have little experiences and some having a large experiences regarding stammering. I admire his/her experiences and trying to gain something and live my life liberally.

At last thanks to everyone, who supported me…Thanks TISA !!!

Advertising the NC on the net

As I was talking with Leys,the chairperson of The BSA,I asked him about the blogs and forums  could post the NC on,his reply was :-
I think you know them all, Dhruva: Facebook has at least five and there is STUTT-L, Stuttering Chat, The Stuttering Brain and a lot of other more personal ones. Searching will probably find you a few more, but I'm sure you've done that. But I think, in your reports, you need to describe the conditions for stammerers in India, what you are trying to achieve with your conferences and what you think the first one achieved. Otherwise readers have no context in which to judge the significance of what you have done and so there cannot be informed discussion.


I do agree with Leys that instead of just putting links about the Nc,we should get together and  make a draft incorporating all the points he thinks are worthy of mentioning.What are your thoughts about this ????

Expenses Details for National Conference

http://stammer.in/component/content/article/34-cat-info/477-expenses-details-for-national-conference.html

PWS की शादी पर टीवी सीरियल

आजकल इमेजिन टीवी पर एक सीरियल "बाबा ऐसो वर dhudo" (Mon. to Fri. 10.00 PM) दिखाया जा रहा है. इसमे दिखाया गया है कि हकलाने वाले लोगों को शादी में किन परेशानिओं का सामना करना पड़ता है. कुछ लड़कियाँ हकलाने वाले वर को पसंद नहीं करती, लेकिन इनमे से कुछ ऐसी भी होती हैं जो हकलाने वाले की अच्छाइयों को पसंद करती हैं.

- Amitsingh Kushwah,
Mobile No. 093009-39758

Future Directions for TISA...

On 9th January 2012, JP and I had a meeting over Skype to discuss the areas that needs to be worked in TISA. Here are the minutes of the meeting : 

Agenda

Agenda of the meeting was to identify and discuss the future plan of action for TISA.

Minutes

Following points were identified as the areas that need attention for the coming year:

1. Formalize the registration process. There should be a contact person in all the four zones. The registration fees should be transferred to the account of the contact person. During registration the candidate should mention the name of the person to whom he has transferred the amount. On filling the registration form an auto-mail will be sent and the contact person should verify the registration.

2. The registered members to have the following options :

     a. Option to get a printed copy of Samvad / or both printed and electronic copy.

     b. New registrations will get a printed copy of the Self Help Manual.

     c. Registered members to have extra 7 days of grace period for registering at any TISA workshop /    conference.

3. The amount of new registrations and renewal to be decided after getting the quotations for the Prints of Samvad and Self Help Manual. JP and Harish to get the quotations in their respective areas.

4. Samvad to be issued / printed once in 4 months instead of quarterly. This will help us focus on quality material to be published on the same. 

5. Upgrading the website. Following tentative features to be implemented :

     a. Comments / Facebook like for each article posted.

     b. Chat room

     c. Discussion board

     d. Reminders of Renewal of Registrations

     e. Any other features identified as necessary during the upgrade.

6. Fund raising: Find out innovative ways / collaborating with other firms for fund raising of TISA.

7. Decide on workshop Levels (Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced)

8. Team Building: Identify volunteers who are willing to spread the word of awareness for TISA through networking and internet presence.

9. Hire an SLP. The SLP to work for TISA, travel to self help groups and offer professional help to the members. TISA to also groom the SLP which will cater to quality speech therapy even when the SLP is not with TISA.

Suggestions / feedback are most welcome. 

From Chennai..

Dear Friends,

The Chennai chapter meeting was held on 7.1.12 & attended by 13 pws including 3 new ones. Myself and Raja Bhattacharji narrated the various activities happened at NC Bhubaneshwar. We have also shown photos to them in a laptop.

 

I informed to them that I personally benefited after attending NC not only in stammering point of view, but also about the fun, joy and happiness which I got form NC. It could not be explained in words but only to be experienced. I never felt this much of happiness in my life for quite many years.

 

Then, we voluntarily stuttered for about 20 min. Some of the pws realised that how much it difficult to stutter voluntarily.

 

The 3 new pws asked for a speech therapy. I teached the speech therapy which I learned from Mr.Balasubramaniam which is a combination of therapy and berating control.

 

Mr.Vishal and Mr.Hassanand have given inspirational speech at the end. Vishal told that when he was young, he could not find out the reason for others laughing at him. After some years, he realised that those who were laughing would not going to help him either emotionally or monetarily and hence not at all bothered about others laughing because of his stammering. Hassanand told that he always speak as if he is the best speaker and not bothered about his stammering. Incidentally, Hassanand is doing textile business successfully for more than 35 years which involves more talking and frequent traveling.

 

Now I understand that though "Acceptance" is fore most important to conquer or control stammering,  acceptance is not alone is not sufficient to lead good life like others. It requires change in attitude as well as mind set towards stammering like Vishal and Hassanand's mindset.

 

One thing which saddened me the most which I would like to share with this group. Couple of pws has informed to me that their wives are teasing and bullying them for not getting good job and earning enough money. One of the pws wife is not even allowing him to speak to their 8 year old son for fearing of copying his stammering. I have no answer to them except God will always take sometime to do good things.

 

We are proposed to go for an outing in the next month... may be to Mahapalipuram on line with NC.

 

Coming back to NC I thank everyone from whom I learned something. My special thanks to Dr.Sachin and JP for arranging the first NC in India. My thanks to Dr.Satya Mahapatra for spending most of his time at NC and also to his wife who has also spent much time at NC. What a wonderful couple!. I also wondered how Elaine has got so much of energy! Full of energy throughout NC. Hats off to her!

 

Those who missed NC has really missed something in their life. My suggestion to them is where ever they get such opportunity, use it. You can learn much more than stammering. May be you can understand even the meaning of LIFE....

 

That's all from Chennai.

 

Regards,

Manimaran.

Speaking out!

It's Two Different World Out There !!!

At first a quick apology to all the people "Stutterers" whom i promised to e-mail the contacts and ids of the participants of the NC. Sorry Guys and Elaine mam!! I was stuck with some stuffs and you will get the contacts on your e-mail id as soon as possible.

Since 28th of last month, there have been two different worlds out there for me i.e. the one with the stutterers ( from 28th Dec to 2nd of this month) and the other one, right from moment (2nd Jan) i left the IHS Campus Bhubaneshwar. Let's say the former one as W1 and the latter one as W2. In W1 it was like, i don't have to pretend neither do i have to hide the way i talk, whether it  be me saying प.. प.. प.. प Pramendra or just Pramendra , but as soon as i was in W2, it was like Oh My God why do i have to say प.. प.. प.. प Pramendra, why can't i manage with some thing else?? Why does everyone have to bear an extra 2 or 3 sec for me or to be more correct  "of me". In W1 i never missed an opportunity to express myself (means whenever possible), but then later in W2 it was like, "okay leave it!!" why do i have to explain myself or these things, to people who are dumb.

But these two different worlds have shown me that what I am and whatever may be the reason or the cause I am bound by my instincts. I took acceptance of my stuttering as a challenge, that let's see how much i can push myself, what are my limits and by what extent i can further push them off. In  this regard, i went to my place i told my mom that, look mom i stutter and you also know this. I don't have any problem with this because i no longer consider it as a problem , it will be very nice of you, if you also don't consider as a problem because it isn't, it is just the way i talk and i am not afraid that what people will think of me or do think of me. I know it was very hard on her because since childhood nobody discussed my stuttering and out of the blue i am asking her to be okay with it, but she was quite supportive and she said i was always okay with it and still i am. Then i discussed it with my friends and not so surprisingly they where also okay with it, although few were shocked about, me using the word Hakla for myself and other fellow stutterers more frequently, which they used to call me for teasing.

Still, down somewhere there is a kid who wants to hide it out, for example i am not able to use the bouncing technique as i frequently used it in IHS. I am still uncomfortable when i get stuck, which i wasn't back there in IHS. Even if my brain says that i have to use bouncing because the fear is still out there, i never end up doing it. As far as i think it is the instinct which i have developed in past 20 years (that i have to hide my stuttering) is coming in my way but the thing is now i am enjoying this because (as in Late Steve Jobs words) i have now started figuring out the dots of my life and i think, i just have to be patient and confident in what i do and one day down the road even on the well worn path the dots will connect and that will all make the difference.

Is there a cure?

No offense meant to anyone but TISA encourages pws to share their therapy history to promote awareness about various options available to us and also to explore the possibility of “cure”. As we know, almost ANY technique will help pws in the short term. But the real test of claims of cure need to be examined in the long term. Here is a sharing from Kushal from Kolkata:

I have been stammering as far back as I can remember. I remember few glimpses of my childhood where I did stammer when called out to speak. I also recall avoiding participating in Debates and Elocutions owing to my stammering. I did however take part in Theatre, where like most of stutters my stuttering “vanished” onstage. I also remember my parents taking me to a few speech therapists in my early childhood, however I was totally unconcerned about my stammering at that stage of my life and did nothing in this regard back then. In fact I remember vehemently refusing to see any therapists again.

Pictures from Orissa

Dear All,

Here is an album, with a collection of some of the photos of the National Conference at IHS, Bhubaneshwar, Orissa....

https://picasaweb.google.com/117465129517612405511/FirstNationalConferenceOnStammeringSelfHelpBhubaneshwarOrissa?authkey=Gv1sRgCKOsxLXkgK3kFw# 


Re-live the memories :)

Renowned Professor a PWS

Just started watching this video for some other academic purpose when I realised that Devesh Kapur who is a renowned Indian scholar in a reputed US University also stammers. Here is the link to the video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoX62xr-2p0

Akash

Acceptance vs.Speech Therapy

Just came back from the first National Conference on Stuttering in India,it has been nothing less than an enlightening experience from me,it wasnt just about stammering,it was about meeting people from all across the country having nothing in common but they way they speak.More about that later though (I will be posting about the conference in a short while).

A question that haunts most pws is that whether they should go for speech therapy or practice acceptance by advertising their stutter,joining shg's,etc.What I believe is that a combination of the two is the answer.Here's what I believe should be ideally done-The major obstacle in the recovery process is FEAR.A renowned SLP who hosted the whole conference said that whenever faced by a feared speech situation we should learn to "react" to it by our intelligent human self instead of "responding" to it by our animalistic self.So the next question is how to reach such a level so that we react instead of respond.Imagine this,the first to time you drove a car.You knew everything as what had to be done-ignition,clutch,gear,leave clutch slowly and accelerate,clutch,second gear and so on..... But all of us know that the first time is far more difficult than this 2 line theory.You have to drive the car for a atleast a week till you really start getting whats really happening and in a matter of time you dont really need to remember what needs to be done.And at this stage you can learn all about how to drive in heavy traffic or how to drive when racing with friends(Dont do it though :-) )
I hope you are getting what I am trying to say.


Just like driving,you need to get your fear out first before you can learn some techniques.For that the acceptance practices are necessary.Believe me,I have tried every other possible way out and there is none.You gotta go out,advertising your stutter,join shg's,attend workshops and try to be open about your stuttering. By doing such practices you will slowly start to get what all is happening to you when you stutter instead of going in a semi-numb state of mind.Slowly you will start to analyze your stutter with your mind with no emotions involved whatsoever. In due course of time you will surely reach a level where you dont feel your stammer as a big issue in your life. After this you can always go for speech techniques(read pro-techniques) if you feel the need like prolongation,in-block,mid block,after block corrections i.e. to say that you can take advantage from these techniques only after you learn to react not respond to speaking situations.Acceptance doesnt mean to accept your stutter as it is,it doesnt mean not working on your speech,its just a means to to ensure that you manage your stutter both in the mouth as well as in the mind.


All of this is my personal opinion without no influence whatsoever.I hope I have been of some help.Will be posting  about the conference soon an also an interview with Beata Akerman,so keep following.....:-)


www.mystammer.blogspot.com

Some Quick reactions..

TISA thanks everyone..

(left: Ganesha in an outer alcove; the IHS campus uses locally available material and traditional architectural designs to create spaces which are both functional and aesthetic..)

We wish to thank everyone- those who participated, those who helped, those who could not participate but were with us in spirit and prayers, those who read the posts and spread the word..in fact EVERYONE on the globe.
Our special thanks to Dr Mahapatra for making himself so freely available- his story of Bhringaraj and the bamboo sapling, will remain with us for many many years to come; We thank his wife and family for sharing him with us so readily for the five days.. Many thanks to his team and staff at IHS, for making us feel at home..( jangal me mangal: it was like a picnic at Chandaka forest) and helping us in so many ways. Our immense gratitude to Hotel Bari International team as well..
We also would like to thank NSA (for the buttons, bands, brochures etc. received thru Elaine) and Elaine for her time, counsel, sharing of wisdom and knowledge..
We also thank Judith Kuster and Keith for all the help and best wishes.. Pam for excellent video message..Tanveer, Hiten and Danielle Rossi for promotions and sharing the event with their audience.
We wish to thank the FAMILIES which took the trouble of participating together: Mrs & Mr Manimaran, Rajesri and Raja, Gaurav and his pa (Deepak), Sumit and his parents..
Thanks to all the participants who prepared well and shared their thoughts: Pawas, Harish, Dhruva, Vivek and others..
Thanks to the young gang which volunteered many tasks BEFORE and during the NC with GREAT enthusiasm..
We also thank our families who stayed behind and phoned regularly to get updated..
May the new year bring all of us peace, awareness and creativity which we may need to realize our hidden potential..

NC: Day 4

 The three ladies at the NC- Usha Manimaran, Rajesri, Elaine..

 At Konark..
Below..The three friends at Konark beach and "Ye Jindagi na milegi dobara" mood..

 The Konark temple- beautiful sculpture and gardens around it..
A budding salesman tries to sell the TISA tea-shirt in the bus, on the way to Konark.

Elaine talks about her persnal journey both as a pws and a SLP; with the help of stuttering iceberg; BTW she is a Black belt in Taekwando, watch out..

 Inauguration of the first National Conference.. a lamp is lit by all the three ladies.. May the light of reason and hope spread all around..

 The city and its towers rise in the background as the meditation caves at Khandgiri look down and contemplate for centuries..

Mrs & Mr Manimaran - One of the two couples at NC, (at Konark) (other being Rajesri and Raja)

NC- Day 2, 3 & 4

 Brief Descriptions: Pawas Anand talks about the very important area: Employment and Interviews.. Intense discussion follows. No absolute rules but yes, there are many opinions based on common sense and current trends..

Mohit, Romi and Gaurav play a tough game: constant motion at a slow rate. The turtle wins the race here.. All the three are winners and promised free consultation by Dr Mahapatra, at anytime in life..(sachin promises them a free trek in Himalayas anytime in his life)..

Konark beach: Lot of shooting, fun, two races, some funny moments.. we watch sunset and the vast expanse of restless water..beautiful sand models..

Dr Satya Mahapatra shares deep insights and amazing ways of looking at life: Okay- you feel you are stuck for ever.. but remember the bamboo shoot? It remains almost invisible for five years and then suddenly shoots up 25 meters.. What was it doing in the first five years? It was developing the extensive root system to support the latter growth.. Many of us could relate to it at once.. Another interesting thing he talked about was- neuroplasticity.. Hard work and commitment could change the neurology and genetic potential- who are we to deny that possibility?