July 15, 2016

Announcement : Communication Workshop 16-17 July (Sat-Sun) at Chandigarh

Mann Ki ba-ba-baat...Dosto ke sath!
TISA announces next 2 day Comm WS, on  16-17 July (Sat-Sun) at Chandigarh.













REGISTRATION :     Please fill Registration form (link)  before 5 th July 2016.







July 1, 2016

Announcement: 6th TISA National Conference - 2016: Registrations Open




TISA 6th National Conference from 16-18th Sept 2016 (Fri-Sun) Varca Le Palms Beach Resort, South Goa

Date : 16,17 and 18 September | Venue : Varca Le Palms Beach Resort, South Goa | Days left : 50 | Agenda| Registration are open now | Accommodation Confirmed List | Three BenefitsNC Official Promo New*  | Scholarship New( Condition Apply) | NC Galleries | Important Contacts | NC Talent Show Nomination | Seats Left : 50 |


June 27, 2016

Bangalore weekly 19/6/2016



In the cloudy Sunday morning, cubbon park was bustling with activities of ISHA a meditation org. I donno whether they were packing or un-packing. I didn't care, i had much more important thing to attend and i couldn't be more late.



Our Heroes..

If stammering could be compared with a bog ("daldal"), it can be safely said that there are many paths leading to this bog- and there are MANY paths leading out of it! Amit, the writer below, attended a communication workshop in 2013. He got hold of one idea: I must get rid of shame and fear. 
And this is what he did after returning to his town (Allahabad) - with the help of a card worn round his neck: "I stammer. Please pay attention when I speak ..". His courage and persistence is amazing and INSPIRING.  Here is his story in his own words. 

June 26, 2016

PEOPLE WHO BUFFER playing June 25 & 26 in Pune




Theatrical Stories by Stammerers 
Saturday, June 25th and Sunday, June 26th
6 - 8 pm
If you stammer, you should bring your circle of influence or 'the circle that influences you' to this show! Family, friends, colleagues, boss...It will help them get a good understanding of what is stammering, why it happens, what happens (thoughts, feelings) when we stammer, personal stories of growing up with a stammer. It will be a great way to break the ice if you haven't told your colleagues that you stammer yet or talked about stammering with your parents/friends yet. Just say "Hey, I heard about this play tonight..seems interesting. Want to go?" This is a great chance to show your close ones that there are more people who stammer in the world/India - you're not alone!

During May 2016, eight stammerers in Pune gathered together to participate in a theatre writing workshop titled “Places of Pilgrimage.” Blog post: http://t-tisa.blogspot.in/2016/02/theater-writing-workshop-for-people-who.html#more. This performance, People who Buffer, is the result! 

June 23, 2016

Delh SHG Meeting Report of 19th June by Raman

           TISA – Delhi SHG meeting report 19-6-16



On 19th june , SHG meeting held as usually . it was 2nd meeting in natya ballet centre , our new indoor venue .

About venue – it was fully comfortable professional type venue which is helping us a lot to come up not just as normal speaker but as a professional speaker.



June 20, 2016

Theatronics !

Friends, while the jury is still out (on whether there is a cure or not!!), let us check this story:

"And reluctantly with trepidation, he started going on-stage, knowing well that he may not be able to deliver a single line without a stutter. “After some initial hesitation, instead of struggling to speak, I found myself slowly and steadily doing what normal people could do — speak without stammering! And much to my surprise, this magically happened on-stage,” he smiled..."  (Stutter to stage).

May I just add one thing? You dont have to wait, for the FOOT LIGHTS, PROPS and AUDIENCE. You can begin straight away in your SHG: do a role pay in a park and cheering audience will come by itself! This is what happened spontaneously, when Dehradun SHG did an impromptu role play in Gandhi park some time ago (link): A crowded bus, where passengers and the conductor, everyone stammered (with joy!)... It brought a great feeling of being accepted by self and others. Miracles are waiting for you!

June 14, 2016

The great secret!

I have often wondered why my hospital bills came down dramatically, after I joined TISA..!!
Today, watching this Ted Talk, I found it out. The great secret!
https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend#t-516959 

June 13, 2016

INTERACTIVE SESSION ON STAMMERING BY JAIPUR SHG

When Ravi sir (Ravi Kant Sharma from Jaipur SHG) shared the news about Thalagiri and that they are inviting applications from people/organisations to conduct workshops, I was very excited. What happened henceforth and the proceedings which finally culminated in us conducting the workshop is a different ‘behind the scenes’ story which I will share separately. The purpose of writing this post, which (I apologise) comes two weeks late than it should have, is to share and spread the experience and the positivity that was experienced by Jaipur SHG members and others who participated.
The 3 hour long session cum workshop was conducted on 23rd May 2016 at St. Edmunds’ School, Jaipur under the platform provided by Thalagiri (www.thalagiri.com). Jaipur Self Help Group is not one of the most happening groups and we house about 20 people out of which only 4-5 of us are active members. Furthermore, the level of awareness and openness towards stammering is very less here. So, having promoted about the session through Facebook, WhatsApp and Blog, we were not expecting many participants. Me, Anurag Tetrawal, Chandraprakash Goyal had taken the responsibility to represent TISA and  had prepared a small presentation to talk about stammering and TISA. The session began at 8:15 AM with just 2 participants other than the three of us. The most exciting thing about it was that both the participants were young. Mr. Aditya Jain, who is a student of class 12th and Hitesh, a student of class 6th. It was overwhelming that a kid as young as Hitesh is aware of his stammering and came to attend the session all on his own. As we proceeded into session, the strength grew up to 11 and that multiplied our energy levels.

Banglore SHG meets on 5th June 2016 !

(From left to right: Sudanshu, Rajkumar, Ravi sharma, Pratheek, Subrath, Ravi teja, Amarnath and Hari Krishna.).....
It was another fine Sunday morning. Rajkumar(Myself), Subrath, Amarnath, Hari Krishna and Sudanshu were gathered in small hut. We were waiting for our co-ordinator(Ravi teja). Hari Krishna started the meeting with introductory round. Subrath introduced himself as a software engineer working in an IT company near hebbal. Amarnath is a civil engineer and Sudanshu is working in Samsung. Hari Krishna works for BEML.

June 11, 2016

Invitation- TISA Bihar SHG Meeting on 12 June 2016

Dear Friends,

TISA Bihar inviting for the next thrilling SHG meeting. These meetings will improves and enhances your communication skills. At meeting, we will enjoy the freedom of our speech with techniques and quite a number of games. In this meeting, we can also emphasis on the calm voice which is possible with the slow speech, breathing exercise and meditation.

June 3, 2016

Namaste America and Hello India !!

जब ऊपर वाला देता है तो छप्पर फाड़ के देता है !! 

This is indeed true. One month back we got the opportunity to interact with students from Canada ( click here to read) and now this time we had the opportunity of interacting with students from USA.

On 29th May, 2016, a group of students from Boston University, USA arrived in India. They were here India for there mission- Operations Groundswell. The strength of the group was around 20-25. The meeting was scheduled at our favorite place- Sitaram Ashram, Dehradun.


On behalf of TISA, 13 members marked their presence from as far as Hoshiarpur and Saharanpur. For a change, most of the members from Dehradun turned up as well !! The facilitator of the meeting was none other than our mentor, guru and friend Dr Sachin.

Bangalore SHG report 29/05/2016


We were eight members in last SHG meeting. As per photograph left to right. Reuben, Ravi, Sameer, Naman, Mansi, Bharath, Me(Akash) and Subrat missing in the pic (He was in hurry! :-p)

Bharath was coordinator!

Activities Bharath come up with,
1.)    Paragraph reading from some book of Swami Viveka Nanda
2.)    Introduction and Impromptu round for 3 min/person
3.)    Prepared speech by Mansi
4.)    Talk to strangers activity
5.)    Feedback


June 2, 2016

Re-re-reservations ?

Just received a whatsapp question:

Dear sir,
मैं मानता हूँ stuttering कोई handicap नहीं है और यह प्रोपर देखभाल से ठीक हो सकता है ।
पर समाज के लोग इसे जब handicap ही मानते हैं और अधिकांश स्थितियों में PWS को मज़ाक व्यंग्य कटाक्ष एवं हीन भावना का शिकार बनने में कोई कसर उठा नही रखते ।
तो reservation हमारा न्यायसंगत अधिकार बनता ही है।
क्योंकि हमें समाज में ऐसे ही ट्रीट किया जाता है।
और अगर reservation नहीं तो कम से कम government sponsored treatment तो मिलना ही चाहिए ।

 I'm of the opinion that this is one such issue which should be discussed in TISA NC and communicated to government as well.

Sahi yeh hai ki hum government se stuttering ki problem ko leke kam se Kam ek baar negotiate toh karein.

- A PWS

My tentative thoughts:
The development status of a society is known by the way it treats its weak, its sick, its young and old. So, people with any disability - even if it is temporary and variable- should be offered "affirmative justice or action": like:

  • PWS could be offered a favorable tariff on phone by Telecom industry.
  • PWS should certainly be given more time during interviews (than a glass of water! or useless suggestions..)
  • During roll call, teacher should take a visual attendance - than auditory response - for pws. 
  • Schools/ colleges and employers should promote stammering protocol ("3 things to do when talking to a pws") and discourage bullying.
  • Etc. etc.

On the other hand, if someone taunts me because I am from UP, a small town, speak "Hinglish" and am bald - should I seek reservation for these things too? Where does responsibility of the state and society END - and my personal responsibility, initiative and creativity come into play?
Will/ can reservation solve all these problems? Has it solved other/ older problems like caste discrimination?

Will it not be better, for us (and who else could it be?) to educate society and change the perception of stammerers by setting positive images by personal example?

If we get reservation, then whatever we achieve through personal effort and hard work will always be attributed by the world to RESERVATION: Oh- he got to Medical school. But he is a stammerer. He did not have to do very much..  Will you be able to accept that comment? Many of us wont. We want to be accepted and remembered for our positive traits, our hard work - not for our failings.

Lastly, many pws, recovered or otherwise, have gone ahead in life, transformed themselves and helped many others. Stammering is NOT a handicap in the same category as Albinism, Phocomelia, Quadriplegia, ALS, and many other commoner disabilities like blindness, deaf-mutism etc. etc.

I agree, that while you are in the dark tunnel of "stammering mindset", you will not agree with above: You will simply believe that your own suffering is the biggest, blackest, worst, deepest.. That is the nature of stammering mindset. Once you step out of the dark cave, everything is transformed INSTANTANEOUSLY. When a lamp is brought into a dark room, does it become light inch by inch? or all at once?

If you doubt, come to NC and see for yourself. Ask the same question from 100+ participants. Do your own opinion poll! Why live on borrowed wisdom? Hai naa?
All the best!

(Dr Satyendra Srivastava, Community Health Consultant)

May 29, 2016

Sunday Funday!

 Go-go-goa...(Video 1, Video 2)
This is just an early update. Someone from Dehradun SHG will write at more length soon.
So, 29th (Sunday), we met a group of students from University of Boston, facilitated by Operation Groundswell - at Sita Ram Ashram.
In a nutshell, we interacted freely; encouraged everyone to ask questions (many of the students will be going for a career in health care services). After the lunch, the students gave a feedback creatively: Skits etc. They tried to share what they had learned of disability/ discrimination themes, explored in India in the last two weeks - and tried to connect it with similar issues back home. We ended by making a 2 minute promo video: Go-Go-Goa!
     Diane Constantino, Clinical Associate Professor, from Department of SLP and Hearing, Boston University also participated and shared her valuable insights. She was given a TISA button of honor! On the whole, everyone had a lot of fun! TISA thanks everyone and wishes them safe journey home.

May 26, 2016

Delhi SHG 22 May Meeting Report




NOTE: This repost is written by a very special Person. His name is Anshul Saini. It is his first report which he wrote. Infact he has used MS Word for the first time to write this report. The report contain some grammatical error but that is far outshined by content of report and dedication shown by Anshul in writing it. I have not touched the report because I wanted to preserve the ingenuity and hardwork put by the person in report.

Once Again Kudos to Anshul and salute to your determination and contribution to Delhi SHG and TISA.

Here is the Report !


Last Sunday SHG meeting was first SHG meeting of 2016 which was held in evening. Meeting start at 4:00 pm. Members are Suraj, Anshul,  Vishal, Vikas Ranga, Madhav, Sheetal(Non-Stammer), Jitu, Aashish, Aakash and Kuldeep.

May 25, 2016

Icebreaker and breaking-up shackles!!!!!!

|It's been a very long that I have written a post. Life has taken many turns in between. Presently I'm in Bengaluru and attended  2nd meeting with Bengaluru SHG and gave  Icebreaker speech. So thought of sharing that.

Here is my speech that I delivered:

"Good morning everyone. My name is Ravi Kant Sharma. I'm 24 years old and stammering since the date I remember I started speaking. But my family member says that my stammering started when I was around 10 years old. I was born in a small village near Jaipur. My father worked in state services as an Engineer. So in the year 1999 we shifted to Jaipur. But I think I was not mentally prepared for this transition and I was around 10 then. I was admitted to a convent school in which there were strict rules and regulations. I'd always loved mathematics and my mathematics teacher was also a PWS but he never admitted that. Behind his back students use to make fun of him. I remember a day when one of my fellow classmate said-Sir starts a sentence and we finished it. I was hurt by this because upto then I'd also realised that I also stammers. My science teacher was a strict one and makes everyone read chapter except me. Eventually I came to know the reason also...haha. No friend and no girlfriends (haha) so life became unenjoyful and denial mode started. I remember that every night before going to bed I used to keep telling myself that- I don't stammer, I don't stammer. My family being conservative there was no atmosphere of sharing inner feelings and I being the youngest and weakest (in terms of muscle not now atleast) one was not even allowed to speak in family matters and issues. So this was how things went upto schooling. Sorry I forgot to mention that I fought with every boy of my class for making fun of my stammering....hahaha.

Life took a turn in 2008 when I got admission in an engineering college in Udaipur. It was the first experience of going out of my hometown and live life independently. I was very happy but things were still difficult because now I have to do all the things on my own. But one good thing that happened to me in my college life was that I now had a couple of good friends infact bearable friends to whom I can share whatever I want to. Four year passed in a mixed way. One incident of my college life that I remember is a cried the whole night. I exactly don't remember the reason but it was due to stammering only.

When I came back home after completing my graduation I'd harsh words with my family. I told them what problems I'd faced but in a negative way. But atleast I discussed the matter for the very first time. They also realised that their attitude towards me was also not positive even my attitude was also not positive. Then I was send to a speech therapy center in Amer near Jaipur. The person who claims to be a therapist told me to speak as if I were to sing a song like-Maaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeiiiii naaaaaaaaaaaaameeeeeeeee issssssssssssss Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Kaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnttttttttt Sharrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (hahaha it looks quite funny na). I practice it thoroughly for months but everything was in vain. But till now I'd realised that I can speak and I must speak.

 Life took turn again and I came t know about TISA from a friend and the first thought that striked my mind was- It would be same as eariler, waste of time. But one day I was sitting idle and at that time I was in Delhi and a thought about TISA striked my mind. I just googled it and found that they have some SHG's in most of the cities and it was also in Delhi too. I went there and met some of the fantastic people who are not giving up to stammering like Shobhit. I came back to Jaipur and searched about SHG Jaipur and there was an SHG. But the problem was they met once or twice a year (hahaha not even in a month). I contacted them and we decided to meet on the first sunday of year 2014. I was the first good experience about stammering. Meanwhile my preparations were also going well and I got selected in Prasar Bharti (All India Radio) and Income Tax Department. Ohhhh I again forgot to tell you that meanwhile I'd a breakup and I was also admitted in a very serious condition in ICU for a disease called- Acute Gastroenteritis. So now I'd enough experience of life as it is said - "A breakup gives you more wisdom than eating almonds". I started working on myself. Members of Jaipur SHG were not responding well so I thought to go alone. I made some posters in Hindi and English and visited some schools and colleges nearby. On every Sunday I used to go to Central Park also. So it was a kind of survey-cum-awareness. I also started writing of TISA Blog. People started responding too. I started almost alone in Jaipur and now we have around 40 members, 20 from Jaipur and 20 from outside. I also went to Herbertpur for Comm. Workshop under Sachin Sir and first time I understood stammering quite well. Then there was NC Delhi, NC Khandala, again NC Delhi, and it was all fun. Actually TISA made me understood that THERE's LIFE BEYOND STAMMERING ALSO AND YOU ARE AS GOOD AS ANYONE ELSE IN THIS WHOLE WORLD. My professional life also got started upto then. I worked in All India Radio, Mumbai for 3 months, resigned it, then Income Tax,Jaipur for 6 months. Again got selected as Inspector in Customs and Central Excise, Bangalore and presently working here. Faced some interviews also and scored one of the highest marks. I still stammer and I stammer a lot but it doesn't bother me from doing what I want to. So that was all about stammering.

Talking about my hobbies I like to keep myself fit for which I do running, gyming(although I've not started yet in Bangalore), yoga pranayan, and meditation. Also I like travelling and if travelling would be free then I would have traveled the whole world (hahahaha). I want to mention here that meditation has helped me a lot. I started doing it after coming back from Comm. Workshop. In true words meditation has made me realise what I'm and what I can be".

So this was my speech. Although I was given 8 minutes but I finished it in 15 minutes (hahaha).

Here is the link https://youtu.be/qK5p6OjrKNU

Ravi Kant Sharma
PWS

May 24, 2016

hello everyone...I m Swadhin from Odisha

I am new to TISA. I came to know about this association a few days later.I was much delighted whhen I came to know that there is such an association in India which supports stammerers and helps them to overcome their problem.

Bangalore SHG, May 22 2016 meeting report





Hard work and determination lead to success

We are very familiar to aforesaid line. But actually it’s half true. When I postmortem the content, I found that it consists of two line.
“Hard work and determination leads to failure, and failure leads to success.”
I felt that thing in our last SHG meeting. We always failed with a hope of success.
We are usually punctual with the meeting timings but this Sunday we started little bit late. Ravi gave his first Icebreaker speech followed by Pramod’s thought sharing. After that all member took part in table topics round and gave their best effort in those precious two minutes. Bharath took the initiative and share some of his knowledge about goal setting and faster way to achieve those goals. Last session was like an open session, where we discussed some of the issues, like how can we make future meetings better and many more. Meanwhile I came up with a question and in reply I got that “Answer lies in mystery.”
Written by Subrat Panda

May 23, 2016

SHG jaipur organising workshop in collaboration with thalagiri

Stammering!
Just a state of mind or neurotic mashup!!! Glossophobia or stage fight!!! Or is it genetic!!!
Do you consider yourself a stammerer or do you know anyone who stammers???
We are here to hear you, to talk about stammering and possibly change the angle with which you saw it till now.
Join us for a session on STAMMERING by TISA ( http://t-tisa.blogspot.in/?m=1) being conducted in association with thalagiri.com in Jaipur on 24th May 2016.

Session by: The Indian Stammering Association
Venue: St. Edmund's School, Block-A, Malviya Nagar, Jaipur
Date & Time: 24th May 2016, 8AM to 11AM
Registration Fees: We enjoy freedom of speech. It's FREE!
Registration Process: Fill up the form at http://thalagiri.com/summer-carnival-jaipur/ or register on the spot.

Please register yourself. We might change the way you speak or listen other's speak!

Tele -Help and tele-coaching

The techniques ( Bouncing ,Prolongation, Pause) which was taught to me about 2 months ago, by Sachin  was usually used by me to practice at home only; I was always reluctant to apply these techniques in front of others  especially with my seniors in office and was facing acute stammering problem. Things were so bad that I wrote following to sachin in an email in desperation:
Sir now days i am observing that I am facing lot of problem to communicate. The techniques which I have learnt could not get applied because i cannot  utter the starting word of sentence. At starting only blog comes due to which I feel very uncomfortable.In office also while talking in group when I speak than I cannot speak a single word. I have to struggle alot for just speaking there. Sir last time when we have  met than various activities we were done like talking to strangers in mall etc there I was not getting stammering in a single word but when I face real life daily situations then I start facing stammering in a huge extent level. When I am in front of people or talk to them than my fear gets increased. My mood always remains upset because of this only. I feel like stammer is a hammer on my head.                                 At home I speak alomst normal when I am around my comfort zone. 
I informed  all this to Sachin who planned to do a small activity in my office remotely (from about 300 km away) - in which I had to use these techniques in front of my seniors and Dr Sachin listened to the entire conversation over the live phone connection. He had already sent an email, with a follow up phone call to my Supervisor, to set up this activity, beforehand. 

So, at the appointed time today- I set up my hands free set, got Sachin online - reviewed quickly with him as to what I was going to do exactly - and then, entered my senior's cabin; There were two people already in. At other times, I would have just left without saying anything - or would have waited for them to leave; But since Sachin was online, listening to everything - and since, I had planned everything in my head, I took the courageous step forward: I gave my introduction and explained about the techniques to my senior. I bounced on my name- and other words too - something which I had never done so far. I requested for feedback on my communication. They gave a very positive feedback which has made me more confident.  Really, all my fear and hesitation just flew away.
Thanks to Sachin Sir...
................................................................
Comments from sachin:
Coaching and supporting someone over a live phone connection is not very difficult. It just needs a little planning. In this case, Vivek's supervisor was very helpful and he promptly agreed to this activity, after I sent him an email. Many young pws have this difficulty: they can bounce at home, in SHG, on youtube - but not in the office - and that is where it hurts most. That is where a senior colleague or friend from TISA SHG can jump in and help, utilizing the modern technology. Challenging your fears IS difficult. One needs help. Practical help. This is what senior pws can do for juniors.. Thanks Vivek for trusting me! And please thank your supervisor for me. And dont stop now - as we discussed. 

May 22, 2016

Tisa Hyderabad chapter meet up details on 22-05-2016




Meeting report by Surya

 Today 4 members was came including me. 
Sumit,madhubabu,Govind bhai, Sandeep,Surya.Meeting was started at 10am. First we did Breathing exercise for 5 mins.After that we started Introduction Round, JAM round. Then we Shared our experience. Then we gave presentation about Stammering and Techniques. I hope next week more people will come to attain meeting.




Together We Step Up :) Together We Succeed :)
Contact below members for further details.
Rajesh 96 76 82 0007    email id: rajesh.jaca"at"gmail"dot"com
Ramesh/ Sivaji 8897744248 email id: rameshbabu_123@yahoo.com
Ramu   8143344240       email id: hyd.rams93"at"gmail"dot"com
Santosh Krishna 9849396919
Eshwar   81257 42055

Mind - on the cross ways..

Just returned from a three day residential Osho Dhyan shivir. Great experience! Came away with a great metaphor, related by Osho. Let me share:

A man went to visit a friend at his house. His two children were sitting and playing in the balcony, overlooking a busy road, below. The father (the friend) was not at home. The waiting visitor soon heard loud noises from the balcony - then abuses - and then wild thrashing around. The kids had gone berserk. He separated them and asked them what had happened:

One child said- he stole my car. The other kid said- NO, it was mine already.
The man further asked: but where IS the car? How can he steal, when he is sitting right here, in front of you..?

One kid said with some frustration: Oh you dont understand; let me explain the game.. The car which you see first becomes yours; then, at the end we tally who has got the more cars; But he stole my car. I saw it first.. he says he saw first, and I know he is lying..  

And they went back to their bitter fights.
Our mind is like a traffic island. Much traffic is cruising around it, all the time. In fact, Mind is nothing but a stream of thoughts, a movement of thoughts. But we dont have to run after a car and claim it as our own. We need not. Just watching a thought and letting it go, is enough, is fine. When we see a thought, we dont have to fight with it, we dont have to "own" it and bring it home..

When an interview has gone bad- and the world seems against you- Just say to yourself a couple of times: This lorry is going along the cross roads of my mind. I need not own it. I need not bring it home. Let it go.. I am separate from the traffic. I am just watching it. I am not like those two children..

When you crack a tough interview, yes, do celebrate, treat friends (and strangers too) to an ice-cream; but dont get overwhelmed or identified with that event. This too is just a car, going along the road. You dont own it. You cant. This is traffic. This traffic has been going on since the beginning of the creation. No end. You are not the traffic. You are only a witness.. Let there be separation of "thinking" and "being"..

Isn't that an amazing way of looking at our thoughts? Let me know what you think..

May 21, 2016

Braveheart..

 
 
The day was thursday, I was in 10th standard, the joy of  finishing up my half yearly examination was mesmerizing. I was wearing a wrong uniform because my grandmom was not able to wash my dull green skirt. I was already punished wherein i did what they call now as "squats" but with my hands clubbed to my ears. 40 students rushed through the small door, as the bell rang in continuum with seconds hand of my clock. There were 40 heartbeats, but i could hear only mine. Out of 40 possible smiles, i could see only 39.