August 16, 2017

Acceptance with Family

    I have observed this pattern for a long period of time in my life. I am well-behaved with my friends and colleagues.. In the presence of my friends, I try to portray myself as a fighter, or at times as a victim of stammering, with whom they can sympathize. .. But I am a totally different person in front of my family.. 

     Suppose I have had a bad speech day.. I would have had many blocks and severe stammering during the day.. I carry the emotional baggage to my house.. Since my mood is off due to stammering, I behave in a rude manner with my family members. My family members are perplexed with my behavior.. So what can be done?

     It would be better to share with my family that I had severe stammering during the day . So I am feeling sad/bad/angry....By doing so, I would no longer be required to wear the mask of "Everything is ok" in front of my family.. I can be as I am feeling inside.. I can accept that its ok to share feelings about my speech with my family... If I make it a habit to share my true feelings with my family, then I won't be required to wear a mask in front of them.. And they too would be at ease in my presence

July 30, 2017

Round the world in 8 minutes

Here is a quick update:

Teaching others about stammering can be a powerful path to recovery- rather than being sent to therapy day after day, often against your wish, often just to pacify the world around you: A little child of eight - Nye, in England, tries this path.. Read more here. This can happen only with the help of school, family and therapists around you- They must change their view. And if they dont, who is stopping you to change your view, especially if you are an adult? Right? Strat with people around you. But learn a little bit about stammering first...

Can religious people stammer? Should they? Are they free to do so? When I was a child, I often wondered that if I took sannyas, people will surely call me "Hakla Swami" - and that would be such an anti-climax! Bu hu bu hu... But here is a Rabbi, who did not give up and he talks about his struggles! Please note that he spells God as G-d. This is just because as a participating Jew, he is not supposed to use the holiest word lightly, as in writing or talking to others. Here read on, what he has learned from his stammering.

Third story from America: An engineer who complained of discrimination due to stammering at work-place lost his right to sue, because he did not bring it to Human resource of the company. What does it mean? It only means that stammering does not give us unlimited rights to use law in our favor. We have to proceed through proper channel and use accepted protocols. Here it is.

Instead of being reactive, we can be proactive- by educating the management and colleagues about our stammering. Dont use stammering as a body armor. Instead use it as an opportunity to educate the world around you and make it a weeeee bit better. Hai naa?

July 23, 2017

Clarifiations about TISA

There have been a few  allegations against TISA, which are  doing the rounds in various PWS whatsapp groups:-


Allegation 1.) TISA is against phone call practice with fellow PWS friends.

Allegation 2.)TISA charges fees for national conference.

Allegation 3.)No stammerer has been cured by attending TISA National conference since last six years.



Clarification 1.) TISA journey starts with acceptance of our stammering,acknowledging it and then working on our communication skills.. There is no fixed plan suggested by TISA. To each his/her own path.. So there is no question of opposing phone call practice.

Clarification 2.) TISA charges no professional fees for any event. It is a not for profit organisation. The money collected from participants is spent for expenses on their fooding, lodging, venue charges and other miscellaneous expenses related to event organisation.

Clarification 3.) TISA has never claimed cure of stammering at any event, be it national conference or workshops. National conference is to meet fellow stammerers , to share our thoughts and ideas and learn from each-other.


         The strange part is that those who are circulating these false allegations are first-hand beneficiaries of TISA events!! 
             So friends, if we die stammering till the end of our lives, it would not  be something to be ashamed of. But if we adhere to falsehood and ungratefulness , then how can we face our own selves? Picking up random tit-bits from casual conversations and presenting them as unalterable rules of TISA is not the mark of a genuine human being .Are spreading rumours and lies not the mark of a spineless person?
       



July 9, 2017

Stammering as a metaphor of oppression?

Movies keep defining and refining our stammer! Here is an excerpt from an interview of a female protagonist of an upcoming movie:
I stammer because that is a big part of Indu Sarkar, the character. But there is another subtext to why Indu stammers. With the emergency, the whole vibe was that the nation’s, and in turn, the people’s voice was suppressed. That is symbolic of Indu’s voice being suppressed from the time she was small, and by the time the Emergency was lifted the nation’s voice was lifted, and that’s exactly what happens to Indu’s character. She doesn’t stop stammering, but she finds herself, she finds her true voice. That is the metaphor that we’ve played with in the movie. (link)
Another snippet from media, tells us: the "cures" which our caring family foists upon us may or may not work, but when we get passionate about something- THAT really helps. We just have to find our passion..
Born to an affluent family in New Jersey, Tompkins never wanted for material comforts. But she was tortured by a debilitating stutter. In an effort to help her overcome it, her well-meaning father arranged for a series of "cures" that were almost as bad as the problem itself... Things changed when Tompkins discovered flying as an adult. Eventually her passion led her to train with the Women's Air Force Services, and in the process of discovering her strengths, she lost her stutter. (link)
But what do we do? We discount all this, turn our back on responsibility of SELF, and go in search for the therapist, who God willing, will be better than the last one.. (and claim that we are more intelligent than the regular guys!).
Keep walking - and smiling.

 

June 27, 2017




🗣 हम हकलाए मगर प्यार से 



"काले रंग कि टी-शर्ट में कुछ व्यक्ति २ लोगों से बात कर रहे हैं, शायद उनसे कुछ सवाल कर रहे|
एक के हाथ में कुछ पम्फ्लेट्स हैं! अब ये वहां से आगे बढ़ गए, अब ये लोग दूसरों से बात करने लगे| लेकिन इनकी टी-शर्ट पे  TISA लिखा है, ये क्या है, रुको टी-शर्ट कि बैक पे शायद इनका टैग लाइन लिखा है, हकलाओ मगर प्यार से |अब  ये क्या है ?"

शायद सहारा गंज मॉल के सिक्यूरिटी टीम ने कुछ ऐसा ही सोचा होगा कि उनकी ३ सिक्यूरिटी वाले हमारी तरफ आये| उन्होंने पुछा आप लोग क्या कर रहे? शायद उन्हें लग कि हम किसी नयी कंपनी के प्रोडक्ट के लिए मार्केटिंग कर रहे वो भी उनकी मॉल के अन्दर (ये सोचते ही मन में एक बड़ी ही सुखद अनुभूति हुई कि यहाँ हम लोगों से बात करने से कतराते और वो लोग समझ रहे हम किसी नए प्रोडक्ट कि सेल्स एंड मार्केटिंग टीम से हैं|)

खैर सिक्यूरिटी के हेड भी कुछ माजरा देख क आ गए, हमे इससे अच्छा मौका नहीं मिल सकता था अपनी स्ट्रेंजर टॉक का | भाई हम लखनऊ के सीधे साधे लोग हैं बिलकुल तनु वेड्स मनु के राजा अवस्थी जैसे, कम्युनिकेशन होना चाहिए, ईंट से ईंट जुड़नी चाहिए, अब चाहे अम्बुजा सीमेंट लगे या बिरला हमें कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता| कम्युनिकेशन होना चाहिए बस! यही सोच के सिक्यूरिटी हेड को पूरे इत्मीनान से समझाया कि टीसा क्या है, हम क्या करते, क्यूँ करते |
उनको अपना कार्ड और पम्फलेट दे हम बहार आ गए , और बारी बारी से जो लोग किसी का वेट कर रहे थे उनसे बात करना प्रारंभ किया | हमने यहाँ कई लोगों से बात कि, कुछ विद्यार्थी थे कुछ नौकरी पेशा, कुछ का अपना बिज़नस था तो कुछ कारीगर| सभी कि बातों का अगर सार निकला जाये तो उनका यही मानना था कि इससे कोई ख़ास फर्क नहीं पड़ता कि सामने वाला हकलाता है या नहीं, सभी को अपने काम से मतलब है, आज-कल किसी के पास इतना वक़्त ही नहीं कि कोई इसके बारे में सोचे. और साथ ही सभी इस बात पे भी एकमत दिखे कि हकलाने वाले व्यक्ति को अपनी हकलाहट को ले के परेशां नहीं होना चाहिए. एक सज्जन का फलों कि पैकिंग, ब्रांडिंग और सेल्लिंग का बिज़नस है उन्होंने एक कदम आगे बढ़ कर ये भी कहा कि आपको अगर कोई हतोत्साहित करे या मजाक भी उडाये तो आप उसको इगनोर करिए और 10 में से अगर 3 ही आपसे अच्छा बर्ताव करें तो भी आप सिर्फ उन्हीं पर फोकस करिए|






ये सब सुन के हम सभी काफी चकित भी थे और काफी अच्छा भी महसूस कर रहे थे| 

हालांकि ये निष्कर्ष तो कार्यशाला के पहले दिन कि ग्रुप डिस्कशन एक्टिविटी में ही निकल आया था| मैं खुद ये सुन कर आशचर्य कर रहा था कि हकलाहट कि वजह से तकलीफें तो हम सभी को हैं मगर सभी अलग अलग प्रकृति कि तकलीफों को ले के परेशान हैं और काफी हद्द तक अगर किसी एक को कोई समम्स्या है तो बिलकुल मुमकिन है कि दुसरे को उस परिस्थिति में बिलकुल भी समस्या न हो| 
जैसे किसी को व् स्वर के उच्चारण में समस्या थी तो दुसरे को क में| 



इस संचार कार्यशाला के 2 दिन कैसे निकल गए पता ही नहीं चला| और इस से हम सभी को बहुत सीखने को मिला| जब हम कोई काम समूह में करते हैं तो हमें इस बात का बहुत फायदा होता कि हम सभी एक-दुसरे के अनुभवों से ही अपनी आधी से ज्यादा समस्या हल कर सकते| और मैं सभी मित्रों का आभारी हूँ कि ज़बरदस्त गर्मी और बेहद प्रतिकूल मौसम में भी आप सभी ने कार्यशाला में उपस्थित होकर न केवल अपनीं बल्कि हम सभी कि मदद की | वरुण जी का हर समस्या को हँसते हँसते फेस करने कि कला हो या, परिणय जी कि कभी हार न मानने वाली हिम्मत| प्रमोद जी का हर टेकनीक्स पर जोर हो या आयुष कि सरलता से हर बार बोलना, राकेश जी कि वो मधुर और अत्यंत सौम्य आवाज़ (जिसके पीछे उनकी टेकनीक्स पे किया गया परिश्रम दिखता है|) हो या शैली जी का वो डेली प्रेजेंटेशन और ब्रीफिंग का एक्सपीरियंस| ये सब यही दर्शाता है कि हम सभी लोग अपने आप में ही काफी आद्वितीय हैं और यही हमें औरों से अलग बनाता है बोलेतो एकदम स्पेशल|

और सबसे आखिर में सबसे मज़े कि बात! हमारी वर्कशॉप के ही बीच लखनऊ यूथ हॉस्टल के प्रेसिडेंट रामपाल शर्मा जी हॉस्टल में राउंड पर आ गए| ईद के समय कोंसी कांफ्रेंस हो रही ये सोच के उन्होंने हमसे जानना चाहा कि आखिर हम क्या करते टीसा क्या है और जब हमने उन्हें बताया तो वो इतने प्रभावित हुए कि तुरंत अकाउंटेंट को बुलवा के हॉस्टल फी में INR-200 का डिस्काउंट दे दिया| साथ ही उन्होंने कहा कि लखनऊ बोहत बड़ा शहर है, यहाँ आप और बड़ा इवेंट कर सकते आप जैसे बहुत लोग मिल जायेंगे. उन्होंने खुद भी बताया कि यहाँ का एक रिसेप्शनिस्ट भी हकलाता है और वो काफी खुश थे कि टीसा ऐसा कार्य कर रहा| 

नोट- यदि आप या आपका कोई जानने वाला हकलाता है या टीसा कि इस मुहीम में भागीदार बनना चाहते हैं तो लखनऊ और आस-पास के छेत्र के लिए संपर्क करें: अतुल सिंह.  मो. 9565411271 -  atulbuddy.singh88@gmail.com

June 25, 2017

Updates from the theatre group - Fishbone Collective

Hi All,

Wish you all a Happy Eid.

Now, we are a month away from our first performance. The dates are 26th and 27th of July. We are continuing to meet on the weekends, three to four hours almost each day The text is ready and actors are in the process of learning the lines. We should be ready with our text by next weekend.

The facebook page is up and we are putting up updates there as well. There will also be an event page specific only to the event. The poster is getting ready, the set designer has given her ideas and she will share her 3d design in the week after which we may need to start procuring or building the set items. Sound designer will be talking to me this week and providing his sound ideas. So far, so good. All the work is going in tandem. The things yet to be looked at are light design, costume design, make-up ideas. These should start from post 9th July week.

Overall, we are having lot of fun in the rehearsals where we explore some new exercises and sometimes fail or sometimes get right. Its all fun and lots of learning!

Please find some event details:

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/FishboneCollective/

Plays being performed:
1) Fish Bowl - English  - Written by Animesh
2) Virus - English - Written by Animesh
3) Bhule  English and Hindi - Written by Anupam

Actors:
Anupam Saxena, Jonali Das, Mansi Mehta, Naman Mirchandani, Nishil Shetty, Raj kumar, Shobhit Singh, Tarunidhar T


Set Design: Anusha Srinivas
Light design - Vinay Chandra P 
Sound Design: Madhumay Sinha
Logo and poster : Manas Jain

We are currently looking for some production help in sound execution(not design) and supporting set designer in procuring items.  While i am writing the need for production support, i have got interest shown by one of the members of SHG already.
I would be extremely delighted to welcome anyone who is willing to join this ensemble play in whatever capacity they can.

Please do like FB page and share it within your circle.

Thank you,
Animesh

June 21, 2017

My way of giving back!!!!

Trees are the kindest things I know
They do no harm they simply grow
They spread a shade for cows
And gather birds into their boughs.

When I was a child I used to wonder how we live, what keeps us alive. Then a great man told me – son, for living we need 3 basic things - air, water & food. But why is air kept on top priority? I asked. He replied - it is because without air a normal human being cannot live for more than 3 minutes, without water 3 days and without food 3 weeks. Where do we get this air from - was my next question. He replied - from trees. That was the time I fell in love with trees.

After this incident I thought I should plant some trees. I waited for that "Shubh" day to come. On a hot summer day of June 2012 day  when I was enjoying a mango , a thought crossed my mind "can I plant a mango tree with the seed of mango I'm just eating"? But how, and where should I put this seed. Hey, why not in back of my house, in that piece of land. So I just went there, dug a small pit, put that seed into it, covered it with mud again and poured some water over it. I repeated this activity for few more days every time I ate a mango i.e. digging a pit and burying the seed of mango in it.I was very sure that in 3-4 days a plant would germinate from them. I waited curiously for some days, but even after 2 weeks there was no sign of any sprout. Then rain came. It give me a hope that maybe now a plant would sprout . I again went to the place where I had put the seeds but no result. I was disappointed not because there was no plant but because somewhere I had read that planting a tree is like giving birth to a child and I was not married. July also passed. Soon monsoon was over. I  gave up all hopes until, one fine morning when I woke up and came out of my room rubbing my eyes I was elated. I rubbed my eyes again just to confirm that I was not sleeping.What I saw was INCREDIBLE. 3 plants with reddish light brown colour leaves had sprouted from those seeds. I was extremely happy. Next day 2 more sprouted and this continued for next few days.  I now had 27 tiny little beautiful mango saplings at my place. I watered them twice a day and the Plants grew. I gifted one sapling to each friend, neighbor or relative who visited my house. It gave me immense satisfaction to think that I was able to contribute, even though in a small way,to replenish the mother nature and the air that I had consumed.


This also showed me that no extra effort was required to plant trees. All we need, is to have a noble intention to do so.  When more than 5 billion trees are cut down every year, is it not the time that we should do our part.? A wonderful way to start is by planting a seed or a sapling on any important occasion - it may be your birthday, it may be your anniversary, new year, festival, new job, salary increment, promotion, patch up or even break up, as it is rightly said "He Who Plants a Tree, Plants a Hope.


Ravi Kant Sharma
9461257111

June 7, 2017

I DON'T HAVE STUTTERING PROBLEM, "I STUTTER"

hey friends
let me share with you a good, funny, scary and interesting experience I had today.

As I'm associated with Toastmaster Club for quite a few time, today we had a Demo Meet. Demo Meet is basically a meet when any institution wants to start a new club at their place and want help from other established clubs. One of my friend at my club told me that ST. Joseph's College is asking for help to start a new club. As this college is near my office, I thought it is a good opportunity and I should grab it and volunteer in this matter. A talked with the Team and took the role of Table Topic Master (TTM). The TTM has to give topic to speaker and they have to speak impromptu. This role I have not played earlier but I thought Let's Give it a Try. I prepared for my role last night only and decided some topics also.

In half day I left my office and reached the college on time. I was quite unsure whether I would do justice to the role or not. One more thing, I was expecting a crowd of around 10-15 people, but when I entered the hall where the meet was finalised, I was shocked. The hall was fully occupied and there were more than 120 students. "Man this is scary" I told myself. But I can't backout on the last moment. Finally I convinced myself "lets do this also".

Before my name was announced, I was afraid. But when I went up to the podium, everything got changed. I went, introduced myself , spoke, conducted an interesting session and also received a good applause. Here I should also mention that I was not 100% fluent, but I did my job and that too with ultimate satisfaction. After the meeting was over, a person from the team came to me and asked me "Do you have stuttering PROBLEM"? I replied "YES, BUT YOU NEED TO CORRECT, I DON'T HAVE STUTTERING PROBLEM, "I STUTTER" hahahahaha........

It was really a nice experience.

Ravi Kant Sharma
9461257111

June 3, 2017

Fishbone Collective

Some PWS in Bengaluru SHG have decided to produce a play that will be premiered in July. The play will be a collection of short stories that is written by these PWS. So far we have three short stories - Virus, Bhule & Let's Talk. All 10-15 mins stories. The genres are Suspense, Drama, Comedy.

The play will be performed on July 26th and July 27th at a beautiful location Atta Galatta in Koramangala, Bengaluru. It will be a ticketed event and open for all audience aged 12+.
https://www.facebook.com/AttaGalattaKoramangala/

The rehearsals have started and we are learning and sharing various techniques that enable us to push us beyond our comfortable living. The rehearsals happen every Saturday, Sunday at Montfort Spirituality Center., Indiranagar. The rehearsals have just started and we are yet to have everyone on board because of holidays and vacations. We should have everyone by mid-June which is when we start working on the lines and our blocking.

As part of our performance, there are some non-pws helping us in other areas like lights, sounds, graphics, set design etc.
Our group's name we have decided after lot of deliberations - "Fishbone Collective". It may sound abstract but i let it be. There is a reason why this name is chosen but i prefer to talk about it later :)
We will soon have a FB page and i will share the link with you. We shall post some pictures of our progression and development as an ensemble on that page.

For pictures taken so far, here is the link. we will continue to add pictures as we progress:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B4tptRWveyC5Nmh5bmY3ZkJZSDQ
We are looking for more people to be part of ensemble, not necessary just as actors but lots of other roles like Production support. Please come forward if you are interested. Mail me ani979@gmail.com for any interest you want to explore.
I will come back with more details as we progress. Thanks for reading.

May 30, 2017

A spiritual disorder?


Hello sir I am sanchit.....sir I always thought that what could be the role of meditation in overcoming stammering......I even started doing meditation.....but unfortunately I did just for few days only as my mind failed to concentrate on breath . Sir could you please guide me about how the meditation has to be done on regular basis in order to control our speaking rate and ultimately controlling stammering
Sir what is the role of spirituality in stammering control....is there any connection between the two?

Dear Sanchit

Ahaa! You have asked me a question which is close to my heart!

Stammering – in fact any human issue- can be seen in two lights: first, it could be explained with the help of science – in terms of cause and effect. Second: it could be seen in the light of what lies beyond cause and effect. Because if you keep asking “why” again and again, if you keep looking for a cause behind proximal cause- and consistently and objectively refuse to be satisfied with superficial explanations – you end up in an infinite loop. To break the loop, you have to step out of it. And then, you are in the realm of spiritual science, the science behind all sciences. Following that line, I would like to say that stammering is not a speech disorder but a spiritual disease (you are welcome to disagree, of course).

All pws have many things in common, like: constant obsession with ‘me and my fluency’, my technique, my cure; what are others thinking of me? What kind of impression have I made on so and so? Even if I am hurting inside, I must put up the impression of being a “normal” regular guy or girl… In this constant attempt to sound and look like others, we NO more know who we truly are; who we truly are supposed to be… It is like an actor who after days of playing different roles, no more knows who he truly is, where is his home. These are signs of spiritual malady: we have lost our spiritual moorings.

This is why many pws (and even non-pws), complain of an emptiness inside, even when they have achieved a reasonable level of fluency, a good job etc etc. This is why, we in TISA strongly feel that “random acts of kindness” – like talking to a pws, who puts up a request in a whatsapp group (“Anyone free to talk?”) – is actually a kindness to oneself and is a holistic approach to recovery. In a nutshell, any departure from so called “normalcy” is a portal to our spiritual dimension. Surdas was blind. Ashtavakra had a body bent in eight places. Tulsidas was a jilted lover.  So forth and so on. There is a long list of “broken masters”.

So, if stammering is a spiritual disorder, what do we need to do? Simple: worry about others; serve others; listen to them; help others become good communicators – and don’t keep a log-book! Constantly expand your sphere of concern for others- go beyond “stammering”, beyond my state, my nationality… Be a little humble and honest and say: Yes, I stammer.... Instead of looking for inspiration for yourself, inspire others. 

Coming to your specific question about meditation: we may think very highly of ourselves and our abilities and our will-power, but the fact is: environment can twist and mould us like wax-dolls in a second! Therefore company you keep can be important. Books you read, movies you watch – all this goes towards creating an inner environment, which can defeat your stated external purpose in life. So be cognizant of this great psychological truth and use it to your advantage- by choosing your company carefully. In your case, it might help if you practice meditation with others- not alone. You could, for example, do 3-4 vipassana courses, one after another, in different cities, if you are free.

Another thing: it is not helpful to sit for meditation with such expectations: My mind will get focused on my breath. I will enjoy peace… Rather, when you sit, you could say to yourself: I am just sitting down for at least 60 minutes- no matter what happens or fails to happen. I will just sit. That is a better attitude for mediation. Finally remember: Saint is the Sinner, who never gave up (Sw Yoganand).

May 29, 2017

शतुरमुर्ग की सोच .....



        हम सबने शतुरमुर्ग की कहानी सुनी है। .. रेगिस्तान में जब कभी शतुरमुर्ग को खतरा महसूस होता है तो वो  अपना सिर रेत के अंदर छिपा  लेता है। .. ऐसा करने से उसे लगता है कि  जैसे वो कुछ देख नहीं पा रहा है , वैसे ही दूसरे  भी उसे देख नहीं पा रहे हैं और वो सुरक्षित है। ...हालाँकि ऐसा होता नहीं है। ... सभी को शतुरमुर्ग दिख रहा है  - ये बात शतुरमुर्ग मानने को तैयार नहीं होता है। ...

        हमारी हकलाहट भी बहुत कुछ शतुरमुर्ग की सोच की तरह है। ... ऐसा उन हकलाने वालों के साथ अक्सर होता है जो ये सोचते हैं कि उन्हें बहुत ज्यादा हकलाहट नहीं होती है, और वे उसे छिपा सकते हैं । कई युवा हकलाने वाले लोग  इस बोझ के नीचे दबे हुए हैं कि  अपने परिवार के सदस्यों , इष्ट-मित्रों को कैसे समझायें  कि  वे हकलाते हैं। .... कुछ लोगों का कहना है की उन्हें पता है कि  वे हकलाते हैं, पर उनके परिवार-जन और मित्र   ये नहीं मानते। ...

       उनकी ये धारना  सच भी हो सकती है।  लेकिन अक्सर हम पाएंगे कि हम अपने जीवन में जिन लोगों के संपर्क में ज़्यादातर आते हैं  , उन्हें ये पता है कि  हम हकलाते हैं। .. ऐसा हो सकता है कि  ये लोग हकलाहट के बारे में हमसे बात करने में सहज महसूस नहीं करते हों , या उन्हें ये चिंता हो की हमें बुरा लग सकता है। ... 

       तो अब समय आ गया है की हम अपने सिर को रेत से बाहर  निकालें।  अपने करीबी लोगों से खुल कर अपनी हकलाहट के विषय में चर्चा करें।  उन्हें ये बतलायें की हकलाहट हमारे जीवन में  बहुत छोटी चीज़ नहीं है। .. उन्हें ये समझाएं कि हमारे जीवन में हकलाहट के कारण हमें किन-किन चुनौतियों का सामना करना पड़ रहा है।  यदि हम हकलाहट को स्वीकार कर लें , हमारे परिवार-जन हमारी हकलाहट को स्वीकार कर लें - तो हमें काफी मदद मिल सकती है।  हम इस विषय पर खुल कर बात कर सकते हैं और हमारी घुटन कम हो सकती है। हम अपनी हकलाहट से भागने की जगह उसके कुशल-प्रबंधन पर ध्यान दे पाएंगे और अपनी संचार-कौशल को बेहतर बना पाएंगे। 

      

May 25, 2017

One big role completed😎😎

Hello friends
As a  kid when I saw people doing the role of Master of Ceremonies (or anchor) I used to think can I do this role?? Can I also speak so much in front of many people?? I was in a perplex mode then. But things have changed now. I was of the thought that first I should get rid of my stammering "COMPLETELY", then only I would do this. But as I said things and thoughts have now changed.

I joined Toastmasters Club a few months ago and I posted one of my speech also on the blog for which I got the award also (yipeeeee).

This Saturday we had our meeting and courageously I took the role of MC. For this role I need to know about each speaker as I have to introduce him/her. Also I should know the sequence of the meeting and truly speaking I was having no idea what would happen. The night before I messaged my mentor Tanuja ma'am to come early so that I can rehearse my role.

Before I go in detail, let me tell you what actually is the role of MC - introducing the speakers, introducing the role takers, deciding the theme of meeting, try to establish the link between the theme and speech, and lastly ensuring that the audience doesn't get bored...😊

I reached the venue well before time and my mentor also reached and I told her what I have in my mind regarding the role. I gathered the information about all the speakers as soon as they arrive in  hall, wrote it down, and read it as if I was to take some exam.😊 I also asked some senior members about the sequence of meeting. And yes I decided the theme long back :"If You are Not You, Who are You".

Now the time has come when I have to go on stage and speak. Sach btau to yrrrr...."Fat rhi thi"

I started the meeting with the theme "If you are not you, then who are you". I explained the theme and asked members what are their view and experience. I decided this theme because it connects me with the core value of ACCEPTANCE.

There were 4 speakers and the topics selected by them were - Giving back, Earth hour, Developing a Mission and From CC to C(Copy Cat to ). Actually as MC I had to connect all the speeches with theme and it turned quite easy for me. Also I had to add my words after the speech and all topics turn out to be speak able for me. After prepared speaches, next session was Table topic or impromptu session and then we had a break for 10 minutes. In the break a new member came to me and told me that the theme is fantastic and I'm doing justice with the theme. This was a big boost for me. Also a guest approached me as he wants to join the club. I explained him the procedure and other things what I knew.

After break we again assembled and our last session- evaluation started. For evaluation I was suggested by my mentor two things: one is I should call the speech evaluator before the speakers comes on stage and if I can use Mic then I would be good.

This was how I did my first major role as MC. After the meeting I wss told that I did a good job. The feedback matter a lot for me. I can definitely say that every role be it anything - first it looks very tough or may be scary but mark my word after completing it what you feel is the biggest THERAPY.

And not to forget I again won the award for Best Role Taker i.e. MC😄.

Ravi Kant Sharma
9461257111
PWS

May 22, 2017

Condolences: Dr Akash Acharya

Dr Akash Acharya is no more with us, alas! He was suffering from depression for some time. We were in touch with him since 2006 or so. We were discussing various ideas on self help and stammering in those early years. He was a Professor at Centre for Social Studies (CSS), VNSG University Campus, Surat, Gujarat and had researched health care delivery models from societal perspective. 

In April 2008, Akash organised our first meeting in Mumbai (link), after which TISA as a community took off. Here are some press clips of that first meeting in Mumbai (link1, link 2). Akash also was very active in ISA (International Stammering Association) and represented our views in that forum. 

My memories of Akash will always consist, among others, of his lively participation in Goa national Conference in 2016: He came with his mother, Mrs Abha Ben, and both of them immersed themselves in the conference, participating with the young group whole-heartedly, sharing a word of encouragement here and a word of counsel there with a young troubled soul. May he rest in peace...

May 18, 2017

क्या आप सब कुछ छोड़ना चाहते हैं ?? ज़रा रुकें तो सही ...



" मैं  क्यों हकलाता हूँ  ?? सभी दोस्तों और भाई-बहनो में  मैं  ही क्यों हकलाता हूँ ?? ये विचार निरंतर मेरे मन में चल रहे हैं... हकलाहट के प्रति असंवेदीकरण की प्रक्रिया क्या है  ?? खुद की हकलाहट के प्रति  निरंतर चिंता को कैसे समाप्त की जाए ,..?? चाहे  कुछ पलों के लिए ही सही... 
        मैं  अपने इस त्री-वर्षीय अध्ययन-पाठ्यक्रम  से मुक्ति चाहता हूँ..... मैं   पढ़ नहीं पाया हूँ , जबकि अगले सप्ताह अर्ध-वार्षिक परीक्षाएं हैं .. मैंने अपनी हकलाहट को स्वीकार लिया है, पर मैं  उससे प्रेम नहीं करता ....  जीवन नर्क बन गयी है... मैं  सब कुछ छोड़ देना चाहता हूँ..... "

    ऐसे ईमेल मुझे युवा हकलाने वाले लोगों से ज्यादातर मिलते रहते  हैं ... इन्हें  पढ़कर मुझे ऐसा प्रतीत होता है जैसे कोई डूबता हुआ व्यक्ति सहायता  मांग रहा हो.....  ऐसी स्थिति में क्या किया जाए  ????

     पहली बात - आपको सोचने के लिए  मानसिक व् भौतिक  रूप से  एक खुले परिवेष  की आवश्यकता है....  आप ऐसा नहीं कर सकते, यदि आपने  अपनी  प्रतिष्ठित अध्ययन-पाठ्यक्रम  को छोड़ कर घर लौट जाने का मन बना लिया  है(या अपनी नौकरी छोड़ देने का मन बना लिया है)...-एक हार मान लिए  इंसान की भांति   .... क्योंकि ऐसी  निराशा में लिए निर्णय अपने दुष्परिणाम साथ लाते हैं ..... 

      आपकी मनःस्थिति  अन -अवरुद्ध  होनी चाहिए.... मेरी राय  है की आप 24 घंटे के लिए किसी शांत स्थान पर चले जाएं - किसी प्राकृतिक स्थान पर कैंपिंग , किसी आश्रम या आध्यात्मिक स्थान , या किसी ऐसे मित्र के पास जो  आपको अकेला छोड़ सके..... 
         अब कुछ समय के लिए प्राकृतिक-परिवेष  में टहलने चले जाएं , या किसी तालाब में तैराकी कर लें ...  इसके बाद एक कलम और कागज़ लें और अपने विचारों  को लिखें - अपने भय , चिंता , समस्याओं को लिखें। ....  सही - गलत शैली की चिंता न करते  हुए उन्मुक्त  धारा  में  लिखें...  जब तक हमारे अस्पष्ट विचार दिमाग में रहते हैं तब तक हमें घबराहट और चिंता होती है। .. कागज़ पर लिख देने से हम उन्हें  निष्पक्ष रूप से देख और समझ पाते हैं। ... 

     अब आप ये लिखें कि  आपके साथ अत्यंत भयावह परिस्थिति  क्या हो सकती  है ?? जब आप इसे लिखेंगे तो आप पाएंगे की इस परिस्थिति  से  जुड़े अन्य विचार भी आपके मन में आएंगे - इन्हें  भी लिखें। .. आप पाएंगे कि  घने अंधकार  में भी हल्की  सी प्रकाश की किरणें दिखेंगी । .. उम्मीद की इन किरणों से धीरे धीरे पूरी तस्वीर प्रकाशमय हो जाएगी। साथ ही आप पाएंगे कि  लिखने के दौरान ही इस भयावह परिस्थिति   के प्रति आपके मन  के   भय व्  दहशत कम  होते चले जाएंगे  । . आप पाएंगे की ये अत्यंत  भयावह  विकल्प  भी कई विकल्पों में से एक है - हम उसे  पूरे  यकीन से  अच्छा या ख़राब भी नहीं कह सकते हैं। .. 

     अब जब आपने सबसे अप्रिय संभावना  की परिकल्पना  कर ली  है, समझ ली  है - तो इससे वापस लौटें।  हकलाहट के कारण कोर्स छोड़कर चले जाने (या नौकरी छोड़ देने) से कम  नाटकीय विकल्प के विषय में सोचें।।। इंटरनेट पे तलाश करें कि  ऐसी परिस्थिति  में अन्य लोगों नें  क्या कदम उठाए । अपने ऐसे दोस्तों व् परिचित लोगों से फ़ोन पर बात करें जो आपको सलाह दे सकें। इन सभी श्रोतों से मिली जानकारी को अपने अन्तः-कर्ण  में ग्रहण करें।

      अब अपने विकल्पों को प्राथमिकता अनुसार क्रमबद्ध रूप में लिखें। ऐसी योजना बनायें जो अमल करने योग्य  हो। प्रत्येक गतिविधि के लिए उचित समय-सीमा एवं  पुनरावृत्ति  की  योजना लिखें।। साथ ही ये भी लिखें कि  प्रत्येक गतिविधि के लिए पहले से क्या-क्या तैयारी  करनी होगी। .. ध्यान रहे  कि ये बदलाव धीरे-धीरे हों व् इनके लिए उचित समय सीमा निर्धारित करें। .. बदलाव की गति ना बहुत त्रीव हो ना बहुत धीमी , मद्धम मार्ग अपनाएं। . भविष्य में इस योजना के विश्लेषण और आगे की योजना बनाने के लिए पहले से दिन निर्धारित कर लें। .. अब इस योजना की प्रतियां बना लें और उन्हें अपने घर के उन स्थानों पे लगा दें जहाँ आपका आना-जाना हो। ..

     चुंकि  अब आपकी योजना तैयार है , तो दिन के शेष वक़्त में कुछ मनोरंजक गतिविधि में भाग लें- कुछ नया,ऐसा जो आपके दिल को सुकून देने वाला हो (सिनेमा देखना इनमें शामिल नहीं है !!) ....  साइकिल चलाना   , तैराकी , नौकाटन  या कुछ और जो आपके दिल  को सुकून और  प्रेरणा देता हो। ...

      धयान रहे, ऊपर दिए गए सुझाव आपके कॉलेज कैंपस या कार्यस्थल की कोलाहल में  संभव नहीं हैं। . इनके लिए एकांत की आवश्यकता है। .. कुछ दिनों के अंतराल पर एकांत में जाना ही आजकल के " तनाव-पूर्ण जीवन-शैली " की दवा है। ..  दूसरी सीख ये है कि जब आप अत्यंत तनाव में हों , भाव-विभोर हों - तब किसी तरह का फैसला न लें। परवार-जनों,मित्रों और स्वयं के लिए आपकी इतनी जिम्मीदारी तो बनती है। ...

     अंत में , स्वीकार्यता का अर्थ है जीवन के सभी अनुभवों को स्वीकार करना - चाहे वो सुखद  , दुःखद  या निरपेक्ष हों। .. और इन अनुभवों को अपने लिए उपयोगी संभावनाओं  में परिवर्तित कर देना। .. जैसा कि  दक्षिण भारत की  एक गैर सरकारी संगठन करती  है - रद्दी इकट्ठा करके उसे रोज़ के इस्तेमाल के चीज़ों में परिवर्तित करना ,जिससे  हमारा वातावरण आने वाली पीढ़ियों  के लिए सुरक्षित रह सके ।  


नोट : क्या आप ये सोच रहे हैं कि आपको 24 घंटे की छुट्टी कौन देगा ? लेकिन कुछ देर पहले ही आप सब कुछ छोड़  देने की बात सोच रहे थे।  तो क्या आप केवल 24 घंटे का अवकाश नहीं ले सकते। . भगवान् ना करे ,  अगर आप बीमार हो जाते तो अवकाश लेते न ? असल बात है अपने परिवेष  से कुछ समय के लिए दूर जाकर विश्लेषण करना ।  इसके सिवा और कुछ भी कारग़र  नहीं होगा। .. शुभकामनायें। 

मूल अंग्रेजी लेख : डॉ सत्येंद्र श्रीवास्तव 
अनुवाद : अभिषेक कुमार 

May 8, 2017