Bandwidth Exceeded!

The good news! Stammer.in has seen lot of activity- as a result we have exceeded our bandwidth allotment. Congratulations to all those who decide to come out of helplessness - and seek knowledge to help themselves and others. Congrats to TISA IT team as well, which will be fixing this issue very soon. Check back soon.

People told me the secret.

This one is my first blog on TISA. On last Sunday (30^th May) we met for our weekly meeting at Dhole Patil Road, Pune. But to my surprise the attendance was too low. Jp and I got late and reached at venue at 11:00am (1 hr late) and found that the venue is locked. Then we saw Manohar who informed us about the unavailability of keys. Manohar again went to key owner to get the key but this time too he was not available at home. So I decided to take this opportunity to go for some movie. But Jp was too much hungry, he wanted to eat something. We suggested the idea to eat at theatre, but Jp has something else in his mind. As we all came from far distance for some purpose, Jp wanted some outcome from this meeting. Jp used his articulation and assertiveness skills and take us for some breakfast to Dominos. There we decided to go to SGS Mall for public speaking practice. When we reached SGS Mall, Jp explained us (Manohar and me) about the process that how to reach people and what all question we can ask them.

Here starts the fun moments. As I was new to this exercise I was somewhat uncomfortable. So Jp started the exercise. To our expectation he found one girl sitting aloneJ. He went to her and started the conversation. Manohar and me also got some confident, but we planned to start with the group of boys first. And we reached to two boys and ask them to spare 5 min for conversation about stammering. First of all we (Manohar and Me) introduced ourselves that we are from TISA and give brief intro about TISA. Then we started asking them questions like:

Have you ever encountered the person who stammers?

What is your response when somebody stammers in front of you?

What do you think is the root cause of stammering?

Do you think stammering is curable?

Then we open the session for them to ask anything about stammering. We clarify their doubts and also got some suggestion from them as to have some pamphlet available which contain a brief intro about the TISA and stammering, so that they can contact us in future.

Some of the feedbacks which I received from these public meetings are very useful and encouraging for me. Like:

People generally do not make difference if person stammers. Nobody is perfect and they accept stammering also open heartily. It’s our own perception that we have some weakness but people out there are very much fine with it. The response I got from them was amazing. When I looked into my past I found that no one in my family or friend ever complain about my stammering. I never lost a relationship due to my stammering and that’s all matters in life.

Also when I was explaining them that how stammering happens, I too took care of all the thing and I didn’t stammer there.

It heals me from inside. And I was so confident after this exercise that I rarely stammer for the rest of the day.

Thanks to Jp and Manohar.

One more funny incident I want to share here: In these pubic speaking meeting we met with one couple and after the meeting that girl asked for our contacts. Manohar quickly reached to his pocket, take his wallet out and was searching for the business card. I thought he don’t have his card and gave mine to that girl. When I turned back and look at Manohar, he was staring at me. I found that Manohar was writing his mobile no. on the card as it was not present there. Sorry Manohar better luck next time. Have your mobile no on the card next time. J

"On being different"

This Sunday, we had two visiting artists! Gajendra from Roorkee and Harsh from Kanpur. Gajendra is doing B.Tech and Harsh, IIT from Mumbai. Regulars like Susheel, Raju, Vineet, Nishu and sachin were of course there to welcome them.

Harsh who has been in Herbertpur for about six days, made a very good presentation "On Being Different". He was referring to a congenital condition of his hands- Syndactyly. It is neither dangerous to oneself nor to others but some people are surprised- and children some time can react very thoughtlessly. It was a very honest and frank sharing.

Gajendra too shared his insights about stammering and how he has tried to help himself- and what it meant for him to drive a bike from Roorkee all the way to Herbertpur-2.5 hours- to meet other PWS! Vineet also shared his great moment: he had to appear for an exam at Rishikesh. He had to locate the examination center on his own- for the first time, since his father could not accompany him. But courageously, he stopped strangers, bounced and asked for instructions- and interestingly found that everyone was so helpful.

Finally we all played a game: a paper with a word on it was pinned to our back (see the pic above)- and we had to guess it by asking questions (using our preferred technique like bouncing / prolongation etc.) from others in a circle. Sachin too went for it and had tough time guessing "cell phone".

Kolkata meets

THE 1ST SHG-KOLKATA MEETING WAS HELD ON 18TH APRIL,2010.WE GOT SHAMAIL AHMED FROM BURDWAN(098300051407),RAHUL DAS(09903891080),SOURAV BOSE(0900762822),AVISHEK PAL(9874785674) WITH ME AND SWETA CHATTERJEE,COORDINATOR.
RECENTLY MR.AMARTYA AND MR.TIJO MADE CONTACT AND DECIDED TO JOIN SHG-KOLKATA.
MR.AMARTYA WANTS TO ORGANISE THE 2ND MEETING AND THE INTERESTED PEOPLE ARE REQUESTED TO CONTACT HIM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AT amartya_wb_85@yahoo.co.in.
MY BEST WISHES TO ALL.
THANK YOU,
MS.DURBA CHATTERJEE,MASLP,KOLKATA.

My learnings at herbetpur

In the supervision of dr.Sachin i learnt to tackle this giant disease with the techniques of which you must have heard and may have implemented and also i want to add to it that gaining benefits i you are practising honestly.
Like everyone stammers in his own style so am i,at times i face silent blocks or no sound.After assessing my case dr.Sachin recommended me to do “voluntarily stuttering”.In this technique we deliberately do stammering in front of other people revealing our authentic image in front of others which would kill our shyness and the fear which it brings along with it.You will learn to admit yourself as a stammer.When we have emptied ourself from the fear of stammering then noting can obstruct us but it would take a lot of courage and will power from you to do this but you can still do this after all if you don’t do voluntarily stuttering you will do involuntarily stuttering so do it this way.After a little practice it won’t be a big task for you,slowly and rapidly the fear of stammering would be getting diminished.

Also this technique requires honesty like it should be like that you are ready to do voluntarily stuttering in front of those people who do not mind your stuttering and this will not kill your fear.Moreever prohibiting or not doing whole heartedly in front of those people with whom earlier you have pretended to be fluent or you would loose impression on them these set of people should be first picked.Because anything which requires guts while only supply you with guts.Also don’t start checking the results at early stages and blame the technique.You can also assume this situation as showing yourself poor after being rich,now what this kind of situation learns you to do is that if tomorrow you become poor then because you already have learnt to live in poor conditions by now you must have developed calmness,patience and also how to adjust in poor conditions and coming out of it so it won’t affect you.Similar is the case with stammering.

Dr sachin also took me to a nearby hospital where he asked me to do voluntarily stammer,i did it and making myself exposed to what uptil now i avert.I did it more and more while conversing with the hospital staff making myself accustomed of stammering and simultaneously controling and taming my emotions and negative thoughts.This is a decent way to kill your hesitation and watch yourself when you stammer next time involuntarily stammer you while not feel so much disappointed and will come out of blocks smoothly because this time you did your homework.

Harsh

Three cups of Tea & Mukhtar Mai

I spent about 18 days away from home in Uttarkashi in connection with a program evaluation. The first little hotel, I stayed in, in Joshiyada, was fine- but suddenly after about 9 days, they asked me to vacate. Reason: the Gangotri pilgrimage was to begin (Kapat- doors opened) and the hotel had prior tourist booking. These 4-5 months of pilgrim season, to which, almost all the economic activity is geared in Garhwal, can be tough on an unsuspecting visitor. People who had been lazily playing cards or -now for some years, carom board, suddenly become very perky and enterprising! Roads are full of traffic, shanty shops spring up over night, tourists from plains stopping and cooking, bathing, sleeping, by the road side in all unlikely places! This is a total transformation of our scenic calm Garhwal. You should travel here during Yatra season only if you are Mark Tully- out for a good story (vide infra). Actually, I prefer visiting off season- you get discount as well as the whole place to yourself! OR, I would rather go to some remote valley in Zanskar.
(below- 3 panoramic pics of the forest where I camped..)

Anyway, while in Uttarkashi, I read a beautiful book : Three cups of tea. Story of a failed attempt at K2 in northern Pakistan (Baltistan)- and how it leads one American to initiate a major school building drive in a remote area (something like our Laddakh). This was his answer to a deeper search for meaning and fulfilment in life. Truly amazing saga- described very honestly. He rightly thinks that building schools is a better way of dealing with terrorism. A failed mountaineer, a man unsure of himself- very unlikely hero for a Penguin book. But great insights. A must read for anyone interested in inner transformation and stories of genuine women and men across the border.

Another story, I read was that of Mukhtar Mai of Pakistan. It was an abridged version of a book by a western journalist in Reader's digest. Mukhtar mai is a brave (=spiritual) young woman, a victim of gang rape ordered by a village council, who decides to live (was expected to commit suicide) and take the perpetrators to court. She starts even a counselling center for rape victims in her village and a school for girls. Amazing and true story. In most Asian societies, rape is a taboo subject. No one talks about it. So victims too are forced to keep quiet. Hence the problem continues. A vicious downward cycle. If people could be helped to talk, the feeling of oppression will be much less. Perpetrators too will get educated slowly- as to how their actions affect others. The whole society will benefit.

I took some pictures in Uttarkashi: I was trying it out and took some pictures. Forgive the enthusiasm of an amateur with a new digital camera!
(Below- a sadhu at Nachiketa tal and joys of finding a camp site and pitching the tent every evening)

(* Mark Tully, the BBC reporter in India for many years.)

Herbertpur SHG meets

We have been meeting off and on. Yesterday I returned from Uttarkashi and today, on Sunday, four of us met: Pawan, Vineet, Aman and self. Pawan has recently changed jobs. I and Pawan had a long discussion about work situation- where sometime criticism sits uncomfortably on the borderline of acceptable feedback and subjective ‘personal comments’. Some of us would even leave the job because of such experiences but is that a good option? Is it even an option at times? We also talked about how sometimes management may use our stammering as a ‘counterweight’ against us in certain negotiations.

Yes, there are cognitive distortions- but equally common are people who dont really understand what stammering is- and who consider everything fair in ‘love and war’! Finally we agreed that we have only ourselves to work with- and that is what is going to help in the long run. With Aman and Vineet, we discussed our response to teasing, particularly. We practised some voluntary stuttering and then, sachin showed the pics he had taken in Uttarkashi. With every change of the slide, we had to describe quickly whatever we saw in the picture- with a bounce or slide. It was fun. Then, two of Anugrah staff walked in- as fate would have it- and we practised brief bouncing intro with them for practice.

Harsh is expected to come on 25th May. We planned for his visit and how the group can facilitate him.

Delhi Group meets- 2nd May 2010

We people gathered at akshardham temple in the morning and kicked off our first meeting with the new guidelines. First, we had an introductory session in which everyone just had to say their names. Later, we had a small exercise of asking the names of each other, so that everyone got to know each other. Then, Anup read-out the TISA rules/guidelines which are published in the guidelines document. In the next session nitin staged a mock interview which was later reviewed by others, everybody gave their important feedback/suggestions for tackling interviews with a calm state of mind and without loosing the slow rate of speech. It was found to be really helpful for the person as interviewer or interviewee both. Then we had a game of impromptu presentation, there was a small bag with topics written on chits, everybody then picked a chit and spoke on the topic for around 2 minutes. Sikandar, Ranjit, Nitin & Anup then shared their views on the positive qualities of others who played impromptu presentation. Then we discussed on the importance of slow speech, everybody almost agreed that 80-90% of the problem can be solved by adopting the slow speech techinques but it is really difficult to do such practically. So, each of us took the assignment of slow speaking till the next TISA meeting, in which we will monitor it on the daily basis. With this assignment in hand we ended the meeting and decided that we should meet regularly and periodically. It was tentatively planned that the subsequent meetings would be held on 2nd and 4th sunday's of the month.

Thanks & Regards,
Anup

Stuttering in the air!!

Continuing on our “Different” theme, as planned we, Manohar, J.P., Suraj and Sujit met at Pune Gliding club on 16th May 2010. Manohar was accompanied by a friend , while Suraj came with his older brother. Manohar and his friend were the first to reach the venue. As they still had some time at their hand they proceeded to a nearby restaurant for breakfast, where I joined them. During the breakfast we had an interesting discussion about whether to join a smaller or a big company. Mind you, when two stutterers are up against you, its better to be on their side! It was very clear to us that a more organized and clear thought process is required to convince someone or at least make sense to someone. As we had a very fruitfull discussion and breakfast, all three of us headed to the gliding center again, only to find that the gliding will take another 45 minutes to start. I was really excited to see the gliders. Meanwhile Manohar saw a group of dogs and very empathic about their state, and angry on a few of them for encroaching on our seats. But later made some adjustments and found some space in between (Sorry! I can attach the photographs :-) ). Soon, we were joined by Suraj, his brother and Sujit. All of us headed to the person-in-charge to check how long will take for our number to come. We came back to our seats and started discussing Suraj and his brother’s trip to Leh, and people were quite amazed when I told about Sachin’s adventure on his Bajaj scooter to Kargil.

As we were having our discussion, a glider took off. Some of us ran out of the shed, to watch the amazing flight of an engineless plane. As time passed by finally it was our turn to fly! Maohar and his friend went out first. They had an amazing flight and were looking quite thrilled after the flight. They shared their high points during the flight. My dream had finally come true to be in the cockpit of a flying plane (even though I was specifically asked not to touch anything) . I had some time for my takeoff, so I started chatting with the pilot about the process of becoming a licensed glider pilot. He advised me to come again and go for a longer flight (around half an hour or more), to see whether I really like it and the make a decision. He also gave me some tips as to how to convince a pilot to take me with him. As we were talking, The ground crew got a signal on his walky-talky for clearance. So here was my time to make it in the stuttering record books as a the second Pune SHG member to fly in a glider (first is Manohar, congrats buddy.) I thought about a speech that I would have to give once I land and people I would like to thank. But suddenly I realized that there were no media person as it would have been highly improbable of them being present without an invitation. As the pilot released the rope attached to the glider, we had a momentary free fall (a high point during my flight). The river, the road, the city were looking amazing. My pilot was very good guide too. He showed me a few landmarks around the place.

After all of us were done with the adventure, me, Manohar thought of spending the evening at Sujit’s place, as it was closeby. We got our food packed and headed straight to Sujit’s apartment. Instead of watching T.V., we thought of talking. By the time we finished our lunch, it was 5.30 p.m. After an hour of rest, we headed out for an evening walk. Me and Manohar left for our places around 8 p.m. It was a very nice and pleasant Sunday evening that I have spent in last few months. Me and Manohar would be leaving for Goa this Thursday to attend Harish’s wedding on Sunday. Looking forward to my first vacation in a long time.

Upcoming TISA workshop

Check it out here. Four participants have enrolled. Beginning date 20th June. We need four more participants. Have courage and a sense of adventure- and enroll by emailing satksri at gmail dot com...

Make Room For The Stuttering

Here is a link to a radio interview of Pamela Mertz, a facilitator working towards Stammering Awareness and Women who Stutter. This url is shared by Hetal, from Surat. Thanks Hetal for sharing.

Impossible... Is Nothing

Recently, I performed a mimicry item during the annual day function of my company. This was my first stage performance, and to my delight, I won the “Best Individual Performance” prize for this. A few years (even months) ago, I thought public speaking or performances for me were “IMPOSSIBLE”. Joining TISA has helped me achieve this so called “impossible” feat. I owe it to everybody in the TISA family. This is the wonderful beginning of a new and long journey ahead! Below is a snap-shot of my stage performance-

Vipassana - Towards Fluency of Mind

Vipassana! We have been hearing and reading about it a lot on this space. There were testimonials about how Vipassana has helped people (PWS and others). Dr. Sachin has been vehemently stressing on its benefits too. All this led me to find out more about it. And I stumbled upon the “Goa Vipassana Samiti”. On inquiry, they were generous enough to share a lot of reading matter about Vipassana. With that as a reference, I hereby present a short write-up for other readers to give a brief overview and idea about what Vipassana is all about.

What is Vipassana?

Basically, Vipassana is a kind of Meditation, infact more. It’s different. It has it’s origins in India, but was long lost to humanity, until Gautam Buddha rediscovered it, 2500 years ago. Vipassana is the art of self-purification and self-observation. In basic terms, it is the art of observing and realizing the truth about one’s own self, by observation. This by direct experience is the process of purification. The entire path is called “Dhamma”.

The definition may sound too spiritual for us to understand. So, let me attempt to make it simple as you read further.

Not Just Meditation

How is Vipassana different? The definition speaks about self-observation and self-realization. How does it happen? The basic lesson tells us to sit down for meditation, close your eyes, close your mouth, and do nothing at the physical and vocal level. Just observe your self as you medidate.

What do you mean by observe yourself? The first thing we observe is our breath. We start observing it as it is. Other meditation techniques speak about controlling the breath (as in case of Pranayam). But here, you observe the breath as it is. You breathe heavy or shallow, slow or fast. Just observe it the way it is. In ancient India, this state was called “Tatastha”, which means somebody sitting at the bank of the river. He just sits at the bank of the river, and just observes the river- its natural flow. Be it fast, or slow, the water might be clear or muddy. Whatever it is, he doesn’t try his bit to change it. He just observes it. This analogy helps in understanding the crux of this wonderful concept.

Another thing that conventional meditation teaches us is to recite (in mind) a mantra (or Namasmaran) or visualization of “OM” to attain concentration. Vipassana technique abstains from such vocal recitations or visualizations. Mantras or Namasmaran helps in attaining concentration- but that’s not the goal of Vipassana. Concentration with purity is the aim.

The self-observation thus starts from an elementary thing as breathing. But further as we learn this technique more, we learn to observe the changes happening within us (Bio-chemical and electro-chemical reactions) during various emotions like anger, fear, hatred, jealousy, tension, stress, anxiety, frustration, agitation, sadness, greed, sorrow and grief. Realizing the changes help us in the way we react to such situations. And thus, with constant practice, one attains a mental state that is mainly calm, peaceful, happy, positive, focused, hopeful, loving, compassionate, kind and joyful.

A Word of Caution

Before taking the leap, one should know that vipassana involves a very strict code of conduct during the 10-day course, and it is highly essential for the best benefits. Some of the precepts that student has to follow are, to abstain from killing any living creature during the course, to abstain from any physical contact from any other person, to abstain from talking to anybody, to abstain from eating after mid-day meals, no listening to music and so on. The bottom line is that, the course has to be performed in total seclusion, by having no contact with the outside world. A student has to be ready to closely follow this code of conduct before venturing into this technique.

Vipassana and Stammering

How does it help stammering? As you must have read, Vipassana aims at curbing all the negativities of life such as - anger, fear, hatred, jealousy, tension, stress, anxiety, frustration, agitation, sadness, greed, sorrow and grief. All these emotions are in a way or the other part of the stammering ice-berg, which grows bigger with all the things a PWS goes through. With Vipassana, we can learn a way to realize the way we react to different situations, because of our speech, and the reactions of the society. It’s the aftermaths that are a bigger problem, rather then the stammering itself.

I hope this ‘rather long’ write up has answered a few questions about the techniques of Vipassana. My heartfelt thanks to Mario and Muriel of Goa Vipassana Samiti, for giving me access to such valuable and useful piece of information.

Hyderabad begins a marathon! (April 17, 2010)

This was the first SHG meeting for the Hyderabad chapter. 5 of us have attended the session - which included Neeraj, Rajashekhar, Chandra, Dharam & myself (Raja). All of us were very excited to be a part of this SHG meeting. We met at KBR park at 4:00 pm despite the scorching Hyderabad heat. It didn't take us much time to find each other & we made the Gate keeper throw open the national park to us - essentially we were the first entrants. Neeraj comes from BPO background, Chandra & Raja work for IT MNCs, Dharam works for a Telecom major & Rajashekar finished his Masters.

We started off by introducing each of ourselves primarily and our relationship (for lack of a better word) with stammering in our lives. We then ventured into our experiences with Speech Therapists - which ranged from useless to informative to promising. I have then introduced TISA to the group and the nature of its activities. We than discussed on the role of SHGs and how their role is to provide awareness, enhance knowledge, develop a community of PWS, introduce techniques, practice techniques, share feedback, complement (and not compete) with any other mechanisms that we may believe in to conquer stammering. We then discussed briefly about Acceptance and read a couple of case studies/stories of recovering PWS. They were quite inspiring.

With the theory by & large done, I introduced the stammering techniques at a high level (Bouncing & Prolongation) and then more specifically got into the Bouncing technique. We also discussed about Prolongation and thought it better for Dharam (he had attended a short course at Partha Bagchi’s stammering cure center) to get into the details of it in a later session. All of us attempted to give a brief introduction of self using bouncing technique. With some feedback, we then went on to talk about one light current topic each ranging from Sania’s marriage to Tharoor’s lady love adopting bouncing technique. The cake however belonged to Rajashekar for his narration of intense love story involving himself. I wouldn’t get into details but that revealed (in a positive way) a lot about himself to the crowd J.

It was getting dark at about 7:00 pm & we had to quit. Given it was first session, there was a good bit of introduction involved which I believe should be cut to minimum in subsequent sessions. We struggled to adopt bouncing effectively & uniformly as it was too quick to absorb for most folks, so we decided to chose another session exclusively focused on the technique. The best part of the meeting though was the camaraderie that we managed to build in the very first session. We gelled perfectly despite being a mixed crowd of bachelors & fathers. All of us were quite keen to continue these meetings. We tentatively decided to meet either the next Saturday or week after at preferably an alternative location.

(Ed: TISA family congratulates Hyderabad chapter and wishes them a happy journey of Self-discovery.. Special thanks to Raja!)

Chennai meet

Dear friends,
The next Chennai chapter meeting will be held on 15th May ie. Saturday at YWCA from 4 PM to 8 PM. Pl attend.
Regards,
V. Manimaran
Mobile: 098842 89989

All girls are beautiful and all boys ore MEN!

Its stupid to think we worth nothing. Check this out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciYk-UwqFKA&feature=related

Uttarkashi

I am in Uttarakashi with my new cheapo camera. But it has some interesting features- it can take a panoramic picture in three frames and then join them seamlessly. The picture above is an example- normally it would be possible only with an extreme wide angle lens. I took it while walking on a suspension bridge. The bridge is straight- but appears bent in the picture!
I am here in connection ith a program evaluation. have been visiting small picturesque villages. TISA is toying with the idea of bringing out a small publication in Hindi- meant for sharing 10-12 core self help ideas for young PWS who dont necessarily browse Internet, have little access to English and standard speech therapy or any other support.

Its different!

I was looking forward for this weeks meet as i could not attend ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­the last two meetings. I reached the place and saw found Manohar waiting outside. Later we were joined by Sanjeeth, JP and Yuthika. Yuthika had brought the cake in view of her belated Bday which was really sweet and delicious. Ghar ke cake ki yaad aa gai mujhe kakke, yummyies J. Girls are really good at these; wish we had few more girls in the Pune SHG.

So, anyhow cake khatam kiya and then we thought of the business but found that the hall was not available for the whole day and we realized this time Its different!. So we decided to go out and face the fears head on. Yes we plan to go and talk to the people about stammering, their awareness level and what they basically think about the problem, mainly we planned to concentrate on the stuttering interviews. We divided ourselves in two groups. Sanjeeth and JP in one team. Manohar and I formed the other.

The targets were to be at Shoppers stop and the SGS mall which were in the proximity. We reached in the parking lot of the shoppers stop and discussed about the set of questions we were planning to ask to the people. We would be starting with salesmen and then the main course will be customers in the mall. Then we came to the first floor and for the one last time summarized the whole process and decided to move on with in our team. It did look as if we were enacting the scene of some suspense hindi movie where the a gang of bad guys had some bad intensions.

Anyways the business now!

In my team manohar caught the sales girl as the first victim and later I poked in. She was really sweet and compassionate about the PWS. She told she think the root cause of the problem is the fear and the low confidence level and we should encourage the PWS to talk more. If they stutter on some specific word, they should speak the same word again and again. Another important think she told that it really does not matter if one stutters, to get a girl/boy in life and quoted that kajol likes SRK inspite of his problem in MNIK because he is good at heart. Wish girls could see manohar’s heart J. At last She asked why were we doing this and wished us good luck in our endeavor

Next we caught of two young guys who did not know or had not met anyone who had stutter.

Strange huh…..but still me and manohar rapid fired the questions. Takeaways were PWS should socialize to improve. Ok boss, gotcha!

Then we met a _{­­­­­­­}pathologist, not of speech though. We asked if she has five minutes.. she told yes but quickly change to no and could only spare two minutes….ah …was she so busy?? We were not asking for counseling us. There is no point in counseling; we have had a lot of them. She was not much interested in talking and told to give our card and she ll refere anyone who comes to her…blah blah, but pappe where was the card??

Thank you pathologist, time to move on…fast track ad guys are really cool… got to learn from them.

Lastly we met another two salesmen and spoke to them a lot. They were really interested in talking to us. Small people are more humble I guess…they also told they have another salesman working with them and who stutters, but unfortunately was on leave. Manohar gave his number and asked to contact us if the guy would like to join SHG. Found one stutterer in 2 hrs…hurray ;-) These guys thought stutter could also be due to problem in the shape of the tongue and mentioned the stutterer sales guy has broader and thicker tongue which does not fit in the mouth and because of which the people stutter. OMG!…I was wondering ye kya hai bhaiya….these theories can fail all the research’s of years… thoda un logon ko bataya bhai aisa nahi hai, and the different assumed possible reasons which are known. We thanked them. Ok doston, Phir milenge chalte chalte.

Then the two triumphant groups met again and we summarized our experiences.

JP and sanjeeth also met a no. of people…Mainly they practiced first by asking the prices of the different items. Bhai log agar bag, goggles, t-shirts etc. ke prices pata karne ho toh please contact them, I bet they can help you with the different brands. They practiced voluntary stuttering and bouncing while intervieing

@JP and sanjeeth. I don remember the specifics, please add if you wish.

Then we had lime soda outside… substitute for energizer. Sanjeeth left after that and we moved to SGS mall. There we three met people and continued our quest. Few more people were interviewed.

1^st guy with family---nooooooooooo.. not interested in talking

2^nd guy (sitting alone and free)—will not laugh at the people who sttutters, thanks sir ji..aap jaise logon ki zarrorat hai. He also told to accept the problem and other people should accept PWS. Bale bale J

3^rd guy (standing near elevator)—will complete the sentence if some one stutters in fron of him… we told him not to and explained why not to…aap jaise senti logon ke liye toh hum gyan baant rahen hain

4^th person(lady with family). She and her husband spoke and really compassionate towards. Most of the things she told is mentioned by one person or another above.

Then we had nice lunch and ice cream and departed. Story khatam Sunday ki.

Next week we are planning for the para gliding based on the strength of the people.

Because its got to be different!

my speech again @ToastMasters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7XFDqp8rAM

pls see above link. This time i lacked preparation. the video might just make you look funny, thanks to the guy who shot this.Critical comments (if any)are welcome.

Network marketing..

Yesterday (5th May), Amanunddin, Vineet and myself, drove off to Dehradun like busy salesmen. We gave a session on stammering to a group of Canadian students at Samagra. To help us, three young PWS joined from Dehradun itself. We showed the group some video clips, interspersed with informal question & answer sessions. Next, the Canadian group developed a list of questions for group discussion: questions to elicit & understand the experience of stammering at various stages in life: childhood, class room, during play, when teased etc.

Then, we had some role plays: how to maintain 'normal' eye contact, listen actively & patiently, and keep calm & relaxed, when talking to a PWS. It gave a chance to our self help group members to practice Voluntary stuttering. Many people find it very mysterious- how can voluntary stuttering help a PWS? But those few PWS who take the courage to practice it, understand the paradox: "Loha lohe ko katata hai" (Use a thorn to remove a thorn!).

At the end, we watched a funny video- Art of Stuttering. This video was suggested to sachin by Hetal, a PWS friend. It takes time, but when a PWS is able to laugh at his problems, true and final recovery begins to take place. Capacity to laugh at one's own fancies and foibles, at one's own self- is a sign of maturity. But, yes, it is tough; needs lot of courage and honesty. We dispersed after lunch. The Canadian group is here doing an appreciative inquiry course on health and other cross-cultural issues.

Pune SHG: 02 May 2010

I hurried to the spot presuming that I was late, only to discover that I was the first to reach. Realizing that I had some time at my hands, I decided to give Mrs. Doke a quick visit. Mrs. Doke is the wife of Mr. Doke who recently (about 2 months ago) passed away. For the benefit of those who do not know this gentleman, Mr. Doke was the single point of contact for Pune SHG to arrange the venue (community hall).
Either myself or someone else from the group used to collect the key each weekend and return it to him promptly. During our course of interaction, we struck (at least I did) a cordial bond with him and his family. That is how I know Mrs. Doke. I was greeted by her innocent smile yesterday. Later I gave another young man in her house my contact number and requested them to bother me whenever they can, for anything. Mrs. Doke gave me a teary send off. I quickly gathered myself and disappeared from her house, before I shed a tear, which could have made things worse.


This was my way of expressing my gratitude. I once asked Sachin as to how can we boost our self esteem. He advised that we should indulge in self-less services, which is what I have been doing lately.


After I came back to the venue, Sanjeet greeted me with his usual calm smile. We sat down and started chit-chatting hoping for others to join. Pravin joined us a while later. This time the strength was conspicuously low, for whatever reason. We three started with meditation, then vocal exercises and slow reading. Then we did a round of bouncing on the names of the places. We then started a story telling round using the bouncing. Pravin and Sanjit took the liberty of low turnout and came up with innovative story telling. I was awe struck with their creativity.


Later Pravin justified his long absence in meetings, by citing personal reasons and family problems. And we just listened, which I am sure have made a world of difference to Pravin, who was visibly relieved of burden when he gave his cherubic smile in the end. Sanjit and I tried to sympathize. Later I showed them my stammer speech at ToastMasters. I tried to explain my feelings just before, during and after the speech. We also discussed various aspects of corporate politics and how stammer can sometimes be a hindrance for fresh graduates, who hardly have any experience and maturity to deal with cocky bosses. I countered their stance by citing the example of “cognitive distortion” (pretty deep stuff, ha!). We later concluded that with age, maturity and experience, we cultivate the assertive skills to deal with the unruly colleagues and bosses.


Just when we were scouting for an exciting activity to wrap up, I pitched in the idea of voluntary stammering. Sounded exciting to all and sundry, we chose our own victim right across the street. The shopkeeper was very cordial and obedient, listened to us patiently and gave us a dignified look even when we faltered with words. Thank you gentleman, whoever you are, world needs souls like you 
We needed to cool us down to beat the heat. We headed to a nearby sharbat stall and quenched our thirst with kokam sharbat and Kairi panni.


We then gave each other a parting smile and dispersed for the day 

Sell the product and Get rid of Stammering!

TISA has brought to light many crack-pots who claim to have a sure cure for stammering. Yes- there are quite a lot of these round the globe. Most of these crack-pots claim to be ex-stammers. We should laugh away at these people. Simply because they are oblivious to the 2/3rd, non-evident side of the stammering iceberg.

In our country we have handful of ‘ex-stammers’ trying to sell their own way of cure. But lately, I came across one ex-stammerer who has gone a step further.

This so-called ex-stammerer was featured in a TV program for his exceptional will-power to overcome his speech problem. The story covered said that he even attempted suicide at a point of time! But now he runs a speech therapy centre to help other PWS. The story covered on the TV program was really inspirational.

Inspired by his story, I contacted him on his yahoo chat id, and wanted to converse with him. I wanted to know how he got the strength to come out of a situation which compelled him to attempt a suicide.

But I was disappointed. The moment I started the conversation, he asked me if I am interested in ‘Network Marketing’. Then he tried to convince me how Network Marketing and practicing it, will help us overcome our Stammer problem. He claimed that if I buy the products of some company, and register for some study programs and talk to people and try convincing them to join the network, I can get rid of the stammering. In the end I realized it was a popular company which is into network marketing. Some readers must have guessed the name of the company by now.

What disturbed me was, this person, who claims to be an ex-stammerer was looking to cash on the desperation of a PWS to cure his stammering. He was shrewd enough to know that a PWS can go to any extent to overcome his stammering. He saw an opportunity to garner members and widen his network, by exploiting the sentiments of a stammerer! Can a PWS do this to other PWS? Is he really a PWS (or ex-stammerer) that he claims to be?

Scared? Just do it!

I and Rahul met again today. Because of less attendance, our activities are largely confined to discussions. Today I narrated the incidence wherein I used my lateral speech while performing on stage in an office event. With this, we discussed how lateral speech can help us in our path towards recovery.

I would also like to pen down here, one incidence which Rahul narrated. This was about how he overcame his fear of the “injection needle”. Rahul was very much scared of it. So much so that if he had to undergo a blood test, then he would loose his sleep. But one fine day, there was a blood-donation camp organized in his college. And Rahul decided that he would do something good for the community, and doing this, also overcome his fear. He volunteered to donate his blood. He was scared. The sight of the big needle did scare him. But he just did it. He faced his fear. And it turned out to be good. The next time when he was really required to donate blood to one of his relative, he readily did it with no fear. This time the needle didn’t scare him. This is how we deal with our fears.

But how did he get the courage to just go there and face his fears? Watching the movie – “The pursuit of happiness”. This movie inspired him so much that he was all geared up to achieve what he was scared off. And he wants to take the same route on his path to stammering recovery. All the best Rahul!

A Novel Hope

There is a general saying in the public that no one is perfect. Therefore, each and every one of us carries our own barriers and hardships throughout our life time. These difficulties can be exhibited in speaking, writing, thinking critically, body appearance or dealing with people.

Since from an early age, I had difficulties to speak fluently like the other people in the public, most of the time, I felt disappointed and vexed with my life. However, with the continuous support from my loving father, I managed my difficulty in speaking named “STAMMERING”. At first, I did not feel comfortable to express my thoughts and ideas as I always stuck with words and some certain letters. Further, during my school time, because of the misbehavior of some of my friends, I thought that I will not be able to become a high profile person.

However, my negative feeling on stammering totally changed during the time when I was in the communication workshop in India (Kolkata). There, I met a doctor, two IT engineers, a hospital receptionist, three undergraduate students, and a researcher; the specialty in them was that they all stammer. The interesting point is that even though they have speech disorders, they have achieved high social status. Their invigorating life experiences provided courage for me to accomplish my goals while experiencing the complexity of life. As there is no cure for stammering, it is crucial for everyone who has speech disorders to accept the reality of their lives. Sometimes, it is true that when people laugh at our mistakes in speaking or imitate the way we speak, it brings tears to our eyes as we are born with a disability, but it is necessary to keep in our minds that if we can ignore and forgive such people who make fun of us, we also can become like Isaac Newton, Winston Churchill or Charles Darwin who struggled a lot from stammering throughout their life time.

The communication workshop aided me to practice various techniques like prolongation, bouncing, proper way of breathing while speaking, and pausing to manage my speaking to communicate well. From the inspiring lecture on stammering from Dr Satyendra Srivastava, who is a recovering stammerer, I could realize that there are no specific reasons to have stammering. Additionally, stammering can affect one’s personal identity, and when a person gets severely hurt for being a person who stammer, that person can end up committing even a suicide. Thus, there is a responsibility for each one of us who live in the same world to treat everyone equally because everyone is made in the image of God as I believe. From my perception, if people who stammer begin to enjoy positive thoughts, then these people will observe a sudden change in their speaking.

I am glad that I got the opportunity to understand the gift that God has given me to add beauty to my life through the sufferings in my life. I would like to thank my university, Asian University for Women (AUW), for giving me the chance to attend the workshop. Notably, I would like to thank my advisor, Professor Katrina Lewis for being with me like a shadow all through the happiness as well as sorrows in this process. Furthermore, I am glad that I had several nice people in AUW for encouraging me to attend this workshop. After all, I am very pleased that my best friend in AUW, Anushka Pushpamali was with me all the time when I felt so sad for being unable to present my presentations or speeches well though I practiced a lot.

Ultimately, I want to say that God has given each one of us a cross, which is hard to bear, as he kept his faith on us. Hence, we all should have bravery to live with it happily.
“Learn to Smile with Your Failures.”

By,
Nilukshi Cooray from Sri Lanka
Asian University for Women (AUW) – Bangladesh

(Ed: TISA expresses deep thanks to AUW for letting Nilu attend the course and to Nilu as well for this write up.)