Bangalore stammering SHG – What was ailing it initially and how is it now?

Initial meetings

The first meeting of Bangalore stammering SHG happened on 13-Sep-2009 and it went on till 11-Apr-2010 with at least a few participants. After this there was a meeting in which nobody turned, up other than me, and then there were no meetings for a long time. After a few months Karthk took the initiative to rejuvenate it and decided to meet at Cubbon park on alternate days in the morning from 28-Aug-2010. The details of the meeting on 28-Aug-2010 can be read at http://t-tisa.blogspot.in/2010/08/bangalore-shg-meeting-on-28-aug-2010.html and http://stammer.in/menu-shg-activities/57-bengaluru-shg/373-bangalore-shg-meeting-on-28-aug-2010.html.  This went on for some time but didn’t continue for long.

 What went wrong?

When I look back I feel the factors which contributed to the downfall of SHG initially were these; expectation of the participants that they would find a cure in SHG, not much attractive activities in SHG which help them in improving the communication skill and the same person doing the role of coordinator. Let me go through these points a bit more in the following sections.

Most of the people consider SHG as a place where they could learn some techniques which would cure their stammering. Most of these people come to SHGs after trying different methods like speech therapy, psychotherapy etc. They would have not seen much improvements in their situation or would have experienced relapse after seeing improvements. They think SHG might give them a lasting cure. SHG surely is a place where they can learn some techniques used by fellow stammerers but TISA and SHGs try to convey the message that there is no known cure for it. In other words, it remains with us throughout the life though there are some cases in which a cure is reported. We can manage it.  For that, we should accept ourselves as stammerers and learn how to deal with it. We have to do those things from which we always used to run away and work on our communication skill. SHG is to be used for that. Whenever these points about cure and acceptance are conveyed some of the participants become upset which subsequently lead to them not turning up. May be, the coordinator in me failed in conveying the points clearly or in a more diplomatic way.

The second point was about working on communication skills and giving opportunities do things which the participants were scared to do. Though the SHG was run taking into consideration the views of the participants and we had some activities like slow reading, speaking about a topic etc, there was no structured agenda. By nature, most of the stammerers are introverts and they do not open up. So there were not much inputs about the activities they wanted in SHG. So most of the time it was limited to introductions, discussions about the problems faced, practicing some of the techniques and very rarely somebody presenting a topic. It would not have helped them in improving their communication or attacking their fears.

The last point was about the same person running the SHG continuously. Initially though Amit was available as a coordinator, I had to take up the role of coordinator due to his non availability. So the SHG was run on a monotonous way, though I used to take the feedback from the participants on the activities they wanted. Unfortunately as pointed out earlier, not much ideas came out. Though we tried running the SHGs by identifying a volunteer who would take over the coordinator role in a particular meeting, it was again run in the same way! So fresh ideas were not coming up.

How the SHG was revived

Though the SHG was dormant for more than a year, some more people like Dinesh joined the SHG google groups and they suggested, modelling the SHG meetings on some of the famous personality development and communication skill development programs. The discussions went on for some time and Dinesh planned a meeting on 26-Feb-2012 at Madiwala. The details can be read at http://t-tisa.blogspot.in/2012/02/bangalore-shg-meet-26th-feb.html

How is it different now?

Though the SHG still conveys the message that there is no cure for stammering, that is more than offset by addressing the other two issues with the previous SHG. May be, the present coordinators are better than me in conveying the messages!

As was mentioned earlier, the SHG meetings are now modelled on some of the concepts from well-known programs. They are well structured and the attendance in the meeting is steady. This itself is a proof that the people are getting benefits and are enjoying the activities. I understand that they also plan get-together and some outdoor activities. The details of the meeting are available in TISA blog.

The meetings are now run by different people on a periodic basis. It helps in giving a chance to different people in taking up leadership role and also in bringing in fresh ideas. Previously it was held in Madiwala and now it has come back to the old place of Cubbon park. Some of the old participants like Pramod, Karthik are still active. They also have a WhatsApp group which helps in staying connected.

This means most of the issues plaguing the initial SHG were taken care of and it is running successfully now. Attending SHGs will be the best way to deal with stammering. If interested the person can even take over the role of the coordinator! So please go ahead and join the Bangalore stammering SHG by sending a mail to shgblr@googlegroups.com.

 

(Originally written at http://sudheendranavittathur.blogspot.in/2016/02/bangalore-stammering-shg-what-was.html)

Bangalore Meets

Saturday :

Totally 5 members were there. Karthik, Dinesh, Sairam, pavan and chandan. We started by 9:30 and ended by 11:45. Not much happened this day, We had self introduction and we discussed various topics.

Sunday :

We started by 9:45 and ended by 11:50. The real day was this. But unfortunately people who promised too missed. Totally 3 members. Sairam, dinesh and Karthik. Dinesh tought us how to do pranayama, we had a long spiritual talk, which took all 3 of us to another world which can only be felt. As a weekly practice, we practised slow reading. All 3 of us did slow reading of a book on Vivekananda which told us many things which were relating to stammering. Like one example would be, We dream to achieve a Goal, but miss plans and steps to achieve that Goal. We only think that Goal, but miss all the actions to reach that Goal. Sairam beautifully illustrated this with stammering. We think about curing stammering, but forget the steps to achieve that. 

Vivekananda beautifully tells, first concentrate on the steps one by one, the goal will be automatically reached. A whole paradym shift happened here. It was amazing.

Later we practised word building, All 3 of us, stood apart about 20metres and started playing the game. After this we prepared an agenda for the next week. 

Agenda for the next week :

Each participant need to come with a topic and present himself before everyone for atleast 6 to 8 minutes. He needs to plan before in hand and come well prepared. Everyweek the meet would be on sundays 10 to 1pm @ cubbonpark. This will be fixed schedule for every week and anychange in the meet will be intimated in advance. 

Have an amazing week.

- Karthik R, Bangalore

Banglore TISA SHG meeting 06 Feb?

Hi All,

We hope to have some numbers to meet..

Even if it is not thr we can choose suitable place to meet....

Mostly meet will be @Cuboon Park.

Expected Participants:

1. Arvind

2. Mukul Dua

3. Tanoy

4. Karthik

Plz mail for confirmation guys

~Thks

Tanoy

Ph: 9880295467

Bangalore SHG meeting on 05-Sep-2010

Written by Karthik Rajagopalan

Hi All,
We met this Sunday in Cubbon Park. There were 3 persons in the group this time.
> Karthik
> Asish
> Tanoy

The meeting went on well, and we did Self Intro, slow reading exercise and watching some Love birds. We had a great time being with nature. The next meeting is scheduled on Tuesday morning 7:30AM. People who can make it, are most welcome.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 28-Aug-2010

Written by Karthik Rajagopalan

We restarted our meeting this Sunday. Myself and Ashish were there in the meeting. We both have decided to meet up on alternate days as well apart from Sundays, to compensate the missed classes. People, who could join us, are most welcome.

The next class is scheduled on Tuesday morning at 7:30AM to 8:30AM. We are going to meet up in Cubbon park in our usual hut. Today we practiced the following

1. Self Introduction
2. Slow paper reading
3. Exercise to open up our vocal chords, where one person stands in one corner and another person asks question and the other answers.

I explained Ashish about the bouncing style which we would be practicing this week.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 11-Apr-2010

Bangalore SHG met on 11-Apr-2010 after a gap of two weeks. The meeting had to be cancelled in the last two weeks due to non availability of the members. This week, I got the confirmation from Pramod, Aashish and Tanoy and I reached Cubbon Park by 10 AM. I was joined by Pramod by 10.15 and indulged in some casual discussions. Soon we were joined by Aashish and Tanoy.


We started with Pramod. He told he was planning to perform a mime in his college. Then we discussed about drama therapy and the article about it, which came in DNA. Karthik, who is a member of SHG is an active member of that group and his name was also there in the article. It was followed by discussing about activities of army as Pramod was going for an SSB interview. He told about his experiences of visiting the Pakistan border along with his uncle.


It was followed by a description of Orissa by Aashish and Kolkotha and communist Government of West Bengal by Tanoy. The participants asked questions about these topics.


It was a good experience, though all of us stammered, as we were able to practice some techniques like slow speaking, bouncing etc. We dispersed by 12.30.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 21-Mar-2010

This meeting was attended by three people, I, Tanoy and Krishna. Krishna joined us late by around 11.30 AM and we had started our activities before that. We decided to synchronies the breathing and speech in which we speak after inhaling fully and exhaling a bit. We started with reading a passage and presenting the same. It was followed by discussing about the recent movie watched by us.

Since there were only two people, we were left with a lot of time and were thinking of dispersing. By this time Krishna joined us and we continued discussion on some other topics. Later we decided to roam around the park and find out where Visweswaraiya museum was, as two groups of people asked the direction to the place. Though we knew the approximate location of the museum, we had not visited the location. So went towards the museum and decided to ask some people about the location. Though we fumbled here and there, we could speak well and could locate it.

We went to the museum and since it was already 12.10, we decided not to enter it and dispersed.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 14-Mar-2010

Written by: Tanoy Bhattacharjee

WOH!! I was attending TISA meet after a gap of one Month. The day started as usual and I reached the spot by 10.30am. Amith, Sudheendran and Karthik were eagerly waiting to kick start the meet. We had casual chat for about half-an-hour. Then, we started breathing exercise and were soon joined by Krishna.

Sudheendran Started with some auto suggestion and it was followed by relaxation by Amith. It should have been the other way around.

Then we had a round of introduction as Krishna was new to most of the members. Almost at that time a dozen girls came to the park and started playing and shouting. This disturbed our rhythm and we finished it ASAP.

And then suddenly for nowhere, a bee stung Sudheendran’s cheek. The face swelled a bit. Soon, we had to leave because of girls and the bee which followed Sudheendran quite a long time. By then it was 11.40am.

Then Aashish a lawyer by profession joined and we started with our routine discussion at new place. We dispersed by 1.00pm.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 07-Mar-2010

This week, we were expecting a guest from Chennai, Chittibabu, who was in Bangalore on a short visit. I also received a message on the eve of the meeting from Aashish that he would be joining the meeting. He was a member of the Mumbai SHG and is now settled in Banaglore. Amith informed his unavailability the previous day.

This week, occupying the hut was like playing musical chair. When I reached the hut some people were sitting there and I sat on a chair very close to it. I was sure that they wouldn’t occupy it for a long time. As expected, they left the hut in 10 minutes and I occupied the hut and started my usual activity of reading the newspaper. By 10.40, I received the call from Chittibabu informing me that he was near the Library building. I tried to guide him to the hut but he couldn’t locate the hut. So in the end, I had to reluctantly leave the hut to pick him up. I was apprehensive about the fact that somebody else might occupy the hut if I left it. I brought him to the hut and we found to our dismay that the hut was occupied by a couple. Again we went to the chair near the hut and indulged in some casual discussions. By this time we were joined by Krishna. Very soon the couple left the hut and we occupied the hut.

By this time Aashish also joined us. We started the activities by getting to know the activities of Chennai SHG and Mumbai SHG from Chittibabu and Aashish respectively and by sharing the activities of Bangalore SHG. The only activity which was missing in Bangalore was doing some breathing exercises and meditation during the meeting as meetings were held in a public park.

Once this activity was over all of us spoke about ourselves, the family, the profession, the therapies undergone by us, the problems faced and the techniques used. It was followed by others asking questions about these. One incident narrated by Aashish is worth sharing. Once he went to a cable TV office to pay the bill and approached a girl sitting in the counter. Due to stammering, he could not speak properly and she began to laugh and told one of her colleagues to look at his stammering. He went out, practiced what he was supposed to tell and came back to her. She guided him to the proper counter and he paid the bill. After that he came to her and told her that a lot of people did whatever they could to see a smile on the face of a girl and that he was happy that his way of speaking brought smile to her face. When he was near the gate of the building, this girl came to him and apologized for her behavior. That was a very good way of conveying the message.

Krishna told he had difficulty in speaking to girls and he overcame it by deciding to talk only to them for some days! It again proves that if you did what was dreaded by you, you would overcome the fear.

We concluded the meeting and then went for a walk which has become a common practice of late in our group. We went to a vendor selling juice and Krishna bought Mango juice and we dispersed by 1 PM.

Feedback from Banglore

Here is a feedback about how Self help groups facilitate deeper change in individuals, received from Tanoy in Banglore:

Holi was Ok..ok but Trek was excellent…
Actually, I joined a trek group called ‘Bangalore Ascender’. It is also like TISA, where people of common interest come together and go for trekking across Karnataka.

And TISA helped me in this regard in the regard. I came forward and meet new people be’coz of acceptance. And during intro round since its unknown people, I started by saying “Before I give my intro, I will like to tell you the fact that I stammer so if anyone not able to understand anything they can ask me to repeat it…”. It helped me as I stammered less and also people asked some question. As compared to earlier experience when no one used to ask any question even if they had any doubts…

I shall try to attend this week meet positively. I cannot assure so early but I will positively do tht. And about the trek, it was good and organized very well. Trekking level is refered as Moderate+ as it has quite steep uphills. We were able to spot some wild animals like bear, dear, peacock.. Missed out on Tiger and cheetahs J

And one more thg.. we were the first trekking batch who were able to capture the "horse". I mean the mountain kudermurka means horse shaped mountain. So, we were able to find the spot (the only one) where one can see the mountain in a horse shape.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 28-Feb-2010

I was attending the meeting after a gap of three weeks and reached Cubbon Park by 10 AM. Amith and Karthik 2 had informed their unavailability and a new person named Krishna called me the previous day to inform that he would be attending the meeting. I started to read the newspaper, I was carrying, as was my usual practice while waiting for the participants to come and by 10.30 I received the call from Krishna telling me that he had reached the library building. I gave directions to him to come to the hut where I was sitting and almost by that time I was joined by Subash. We started some casual discussions and then I got one more call from Krishna. He was finding it difficult to spot the hut and I went near the place where he was standing and brought him to the hut.

We started with the introduction and by the time we completed it, we were joined by Karthik 1. So Subash tried to introduce Krishna to Karthik. It was very funny as he told Krishna was doing body shopping whereas actually he was working in a body shopping (staffing) company and was in Bangalore on deputation for a year. Almost at that time Vivek came to the hut and asked us whether it was the TISA SHG meeting as he was meeting most of us for the first time. He had attended the previous two meetings but most of us were absent in those meetings. We welcomed him and we decided to start the proceedings by a fresh round of introduction.

We spoke about ourselves, what we were, when we started to stammer, what all we did to overcome it and what all were the useful techniques for us. Krishna is a very mild stammerer and he told he could control his problem by improving his confidence. Most of the participants told they stammered more when they spoke to stranger. Krishna told he would speak to strangers by not giving much importance to them as we would be meeting them only once in our life. He told he used a lot of gestures while speaking and that it increased his confidence. He told he used to learn the subjects very well if there was a presentation to be made as the stammering will increase if we were doubtful about the topic. These were really useful suggestions.

Vivek told he had difficulties in speaking over the phone and wanted to know how it could be reduced. We asked him not to run away from these situations ad to call some of the toll free numbers and talk to them. We suggested taking some deep breaths while speaking over the phone to control the anxiety.

In the end we decided to go for a walk and talk to some of the vendors selling homemade fruit juices. We went to a vendor and Subash bought a bottle of mango juice after asking the details. We dispersed by around 1 PM.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 21-Feb-2010

The meeting on 21-Feb-2010 was attended by Amith, Pramod and Vivek. A reporter from the magazine ‘Time out’ attended the meeting and there was a discussion of more than one hour. The article will be published in 2 or 3 weeks. The reporter left after taking some photographs.

After this the participants went for a walk and discussed about various topics.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 14-Feb-2010

Written by: Tanoy Battacharjee

It was again a pleasant morning at Bangalore with the scent of love in the air. I told my friends that I would be going to Cubbon Park on Valentine’s Day morning for a meet, but they doubted my authenticity. Anyway, everyone reached on time as we had a meet planned with one of the journalists from a leading newspaper. She asked about how we got together, what the social problems associated with stammering were, what activities were done in SHG, how things had changed since the first meet etc. She was actually writing an article about how internet helps people with social problems to come together and share their experience.

In the mean time, Amith gave an interview for DD channel about how love had changed his life. They were looking for someone to talk about Valentine’s Day and its importance in their life. So Amith thought he would talk about it as he had love marriage. It was about 20sec. He spoke well.

The journalist went at noon and we started our basic SHG activities of deep breathing exercise and auto-suggestion. We continued with our short intro as one new member Vivek joined. Then, we dispersed by 1.00am.

Attendance: Tanoy, Amith, Karthik (Drama), Karthik, Vivek and Vinay.
Activity: Deep breathing exercise, auto-suggestion and brief intro.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 07-Feb-2010

Written by: Tanoy Battacharjee

A chilled morning waited for us once again. I reached the spot by 10.40 AM. Vinay had already arrived and was waiting for company. Soon, Amit also joined. Amit told no other member would be with us for the meeting. As our normal place was already occupied (as Sudhi was not there, we missed the place), we sat on the greenfield nearby and frankly it was better than our normal place.

Today, first time I saw Amit struggling with his speech like HELL!! The reason being, he was stressed out for the previous weeks for 'knowledge transfer' seminars. Then, Amit told us about the Breathing exercise and Auto-suggestion which was suggested by Pune SHG member who visited last meet.
Breathing Exercise: We shall take deep breath and exhale. While we take breath IN, our stomach should expand like filling gas in a balloon and while we breathe OUT, stomach shall go IN.

Auto -Suggestion: This technique was learned by Amit at one of the PB session. It says along with the breathing exercise, we say in our mind that our body is relaxing starting from feet to mind, like "My feet are relaxing”. It is the one which is helping me stand. I am feeling new wave of current flowing through it. I can feel flow of blood through my nerves. Now, as I move up... to Knees.... and things like that

We did the above mentioned methods for 15-20min, before starting the normal SHG activities like Introduction, Talk on various Topics, About Keith's Visit etc.

I explained about my project which I am handling at office. Vinay told about the new project he got at BEL and the seminar which he has to give. Amit gave inputs from the Leather technologies. He also suggested Vinay to give some presentation in the next meet before going for his final presentation and He agreed. We dispersed by 1.15pm.

This meet was a fruitful one for me as I was doing the Breathing exercise quite the opposite way and may be therefore not getting the desired result.

Attendance: Tanoy, Amit, Vinay
New Activity: Proper breathing exercise and Auto-Suggestion.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 31-Jan-2010

By the time I reached Cubbon Park, I received a call from Amith telling Manohar from Pune was in Bangalore and that he would be coming with him by 10.30. I went to the hut where we meet, but some people were sitting there. I also occupied a seat in the hut and began to read the newspaper. I completed the newspaper and still nobody from our team was seen. It was 10.40 and I was getting bored. By this time the other people in the hut left the place and Amith came with Manohar.

We started the activities by getting to know each other. Manohar came to Bangalore to attend the wedding of his friend and decided to attend the SHG as he was free in the morning. We asked him about the activities done by Pune SHG and he told they started the proceedings by doing some relaxation exercises and meditation. The rest of the activities were the same as those done by us.

Though we thought only three of us would be there for the meeting, Pramod joined us soon and we decided to start the activities by self introduction as Manohar was new to us. It was followed by a discussion on the concept of acceptance. It was one of the most misunderstood concepts and the participants felt that the concept was not properly communicated. Acceptance meant accepting the stammering and not trying to hide it. It also meant that you were not ashamed of stammering, but you would work on improving the communication skill.

It was followed by extempore speeches. Manohar spoke about the changes in Bangalore from 2005. He was working in Bangalore at that time. Pramod spoke about the activities of the last three weeks. I spoke about my college days and Amith spoke about his most favorite movie. He told he liked Persian movies as they were very close to real life.

Then we decided to have a walk in the park. Manohar told his father had told him to go to Cubbon Park and he decided to take some snaps to show his father. We took some snaps, had some fruit juice from a vendor and took a stroll around the Park. We dispersed by around 12.45.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 24-Jan-2010

Write up by Pramod

Just rode through Cubbon park and there was this fine chirping of the leaves on a sunny Sunday! I happened to be the first to the meet. Well I was the first for a very long time and it made me feel a bit unusual! Anxiety just tripped down when I saw Sudheendran jogging his way to the spot. Laughed, cracked joke(s), discussed stuff, time pass, these were some serious things we did till our Karthik the Theater came.

The session went with just three of us but it was fun. This time the items were random and there was usual Karthik's humor flowing at the end. This time we discussed some issues like our own selves acknowledging the fact that we get laughter at our condition! Stammering sometimes makes us laugh acknowledging what wonderful beings we are when depicting the human in us. How important it is for us to lead a great life and how these postponements and the tricks we use-when looked upon as audience are so so so very fun and humorous! These kinds of stuff went on for the session and it was a nice learning experience once again!!!

Take care all of you
Pramod

Write up by Sudheendran

Contrary to usual practice, this week, Pramod was already waiting for me when I reached Cubbon Park. Amith had already informed his unavailability. Tanoy could not be reached over the phone and Kartik 1 was into some meeting and was also not available. We thought of contacting Kartik2 and surprisingly he told he was on the way. He joined us soon and we started the activities by indulging in some casual discussions.

Kartik2 suggested practicing belly breathing and it was followed by a discussion on the technique itself. After that we practiced the technique.

By that time Pramod bought some snacks and we decided to practice speaking without rushing by having a bite before talking. We asked each other some questions and he was supposed to answer them after having the bite. Though most of us forgot to have the bite before answering, it was fun.

It was followed by some more casual discussions and we dispersed at 12.30 PM.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 17-Jan-2010

Written by: Tanoy Battacharjee
It was a cold morning with cold breeze blowing in all direction. Sudheendran picked me up @ 9.30 and we reached Cubbon park by 10. Amith soon joined us and there were no more members.

In this meeting we discussed about our profession, about what we do and about opting for a change in job since the market is on rise. It was more of causal discussion but it had to be done using technique. Initially, I struggled, but soon with Sudheendran’s and Amith’s guidance I was able to speak fluently.

Then, we all did newspaper reading and dispersed by 12.15pm.
It was a fruitful meeting as we talked in real scenario without doing any story building stuff or Q-A sessions as they are more of artificial one.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 10-Jan-2010

I reached Cubbon Park by 10 AM. Karthik 1 had informed that he wouldn’t be coming. Tanoy contacted me in the morning and told that he also wouldn’t be coming. Amith had confirmed the participation in the morning. Soon after reaching the place I was joined by Vinay, Amith and Pramod. Amith informed us that Karthik 2 also wouldn’t be joining. I just asked Amith why Subhash was not coming for the meeting as they were colleagues. Almost at that time, Amith got a call from Subhash, telling he had reached Cubbon Park. He was attending the meeting after a long gap.

We started the meeting by describing the way we celebrated the New Year and the activities of the last week. After that Subhash told he was in his native place last week and that while paying with the kids in his neighborhood he was teased by a small boy for stammering. He wanted to know how we would have reacted in that situation. All of us were of the opinion that we should neglect it and if possible, join him in his laughter.

After that there was a discussion on the places to be seen in Kerala and Tamil Nadu as Viinay was planning for a trip to Kerala and Tamil Nadu. Then each one of us described the good and bad incidents of stammering of the last week. It was followed by Pramod and vinay describing their future plans and the rest asking questions. The last activity was reading and we dispersed by 1 PM.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 03-Jan-2010

The first meeting of the Bangalore stammering SHG of the year 2010 was held on 03-Jan-2010 at Cubbon Park. As it was holiday time due to Christmas and New Year, I was expecting a low turnout. I reached the Park by 10 AM and went to the hut where we usually meet. Within a few minutes Vinay joined me and we began to have a chat. By this time I received a call from Amith and he told he was on the way. He came within 15 minutes. Later we were joined by Aravindan.

Since Vinay was having his exams till the last week, he spoke about his exam and he told he stammered a bit more because of exam related stress. After that we talked about the activities we did in the last week.

Then we decided to read some news from the newspaper after implementing any technique which is suitable to us. It was followed by a discussion on the movie 3 idiots and the controversy about not giving much credit to Chetan Bhagat for the story. By that time, Vinay got a call from somebody and he left the meeting.

We continued the meeting with the activity of story building. Aravindan could not understand he concept in the beginning and we had to do a demo to make him understand. Then we built a story around the Firoz Shah Kotla fiasco, where the one day match between India and Sri Lanka had to be cancelled.

Then there was a discussion on controlling the anxiety and Amith suggested talking with the eyes closed to control it. We tried that and found that to be useful. He suggested practicing it over the phone as it may not be possible for us to do that while talking to somebody.

Since there were just three people, we could complete the activities by around 12.30PM and we dispersed by that time

Acceptance? Bangalore 27-Dec-2009

Today, 27-Dec-2009, we had the stammering SHG meeting of Bangalore. During the course of the meeting, all of us spoke about a subject and one of the participants spoke about ‘Landmark education’ and accepting ourselves as we were. He told the people attending the landmark forum got breakthroughs for the problems of the life like stammering, diabetes etc. He mentioned about diabetes as I was also diabetic.

After that when my turn came, I told that there was no known cure for stammering and that we should learn to live with stammering and accept ourselves as stammerers. After that it was the turn of one of the new attendees and he told, he became disappointed when he heard my words and he told there was a cure and we should be very hopeful of a cure. I spoke about the real meaning of acceptance as removing the shame from our mind and working on our communication skill. I am not sure whether he was convinced.

Later when I reached home, I just thought about the two problems of my life, namely diabetes and stammering and suddenly I could see some similarities between the two. There is no known cure for both of them. If you are diabetic, you will have to accept yourself as diabetic and then move on in life by following diet control, so that diabetes doesn’t affect your life. If a diabetic did not accept his diabetes and tried to hide it, it would be catastrophic as he would take food with sugar and it would aggravate the problem. If he accepted himself as a diabetic, he would avoid food with sugar and his diabetes would be under control and he would lead a normal life.

Similarly if somebody is a stammerer, he should accept himself as a stammerer and shouldn’t try to hide it. At the same time he should do the things necessary for controlling it, like speaking slowly, prolongation or bouncing, whatever is suitable for him. In this way it will be possible for him to lead a normal life where the stammering doesn’t affect him. If he is trying to hide it by struggling to speak fluently, there would be a lot of stress and the severity of stammering will go up thereby affecting his communication.

I hope I could have used this parallel between stammering and diabetes in the meeting and convinced the person who was a bit apprehensive about the idea of acceptance.