I came across many interesting and valid view points in this last CommWS. Let us share them for the wider benefit of our audience.
- “When you talk about Acceptance, I feel good. When you talk about techniques, my head begins to burst..”
This coming from a young man, made me quite happy: he had realized the usefulness of acceptance in day to day life. Because, even if you become President of America, many things will go against your wish and you will have to accept them all the same (like Sandy!).
- “When techniques dont work all the time, why should I waste my time on them?”
I have been learning Karate for over ten years. I have practiced thousands of time thousands of techniques. In actual fight in Dozo I have used, not more than five, I guess (3 kinds of punch and may be two kinds of kicks – that's all). But looking back, I feel all those hours of practice day after day has not gone waste. It has shaped my attitude (towards a physical fight), built up my aerobic stamina and has given me hours and hours of good physical fun.. Can we look at the “techniques” in the same manner? Not a life saver- but lot of fun?
- “Stammering is not a big thing. By thinking and talking about it, we make it big.”
100% true. And if you are 100% convinced of that- both inside and outside, you may stop coming to a SHG, CommWS and visiting this blog. But till then, what harm is there in doing so? In fact, you benefit – by getting used to your own stammering and your reactions to it in a safe environment. And then, finally a day comes when you can really believe what you say- and go beyond.
- “Everything is fine here- but once I go back to my office or home, my problems will be back.”
I have been an avid mountaineer and trekker. Whenever I climb a ridge at 18000 feet, behold the untouched beauty of nature- mind would say the same: What is the point in climbing to 18000 feet, when you have to go down to sea level, sooner or later? But I did not stop my solo treks- because those few hours in rarefied atmosphere was worth months of routine life at sea level. Many trekkers and other enthusiasts do exactly the same..
- “TISA is doing a wonderful job. Let us contribute Rs x and start a fund to sustain it...”
I demand MORE than that from everyone in TISA. Instead of money, give your time, your thoughts to people, who are in need. Whenever and wherever you serve a human being- not necessarily a stammerer- you have contributed to TISA richly. Dont teach a technique- just listen to a pws respectfully, patiently and sensitively. No amount of funds can generate the feeling of acceptance which you get when you have been heard by another human being. Can you do it?
- What have I learned? I have learned that even though our stammering may sound the same, it is generated by vary DIVERSE and complex factors. What works for A, may not work for B. What works for A now, may not work for him tomorrow. This is a very complex and RANDOM scenario. No algorithm is going to help us forecast anything about stammering meaningfully. Therefore, I will encourage EXPLORATION and sharing. Never give up hope – keep trying and keep sharing. And keep smiling.After all, life is much much more than a few stumbled words..
I also learned another thing: PWS can laugh about their stammering. Difficult but not impossible. And once they start- it is difficult to stop them! Once they start laughing about this whole thing- they sound lighter, happier, transparent, easy to talk to. I assume that if they continue on this path, their iceberg will melt and the gains will be permanent.
I wish to thank all of you who participated and made it such a rich and rewarding experience for me.
(Pic above: Solo trek Sham valley, Laddakh; atop a pass )