A spiritual disorder?

Hello sir I am sanchit.....sir I always thought that what could be the role of meditation in overcoming stammering......I even started doing meditation.....but unfortunately I did just for few days only as my mind failed to concentrate on breath . Sir could you please guide me about how the meditation has to be done on regular basis in order to control our speaking rate and ultimately controlling stammering

Sir what is the role of spirituality in stammering control....is there any connection between the two?

Dear Sanchit

Ahaa! You have asked me a question which is close to my heart!

Stammering – in fact any human issue- can be seen in two lights: first, it could be explained with the help of science – in terms of cause and effect. Second: it could be seen in the light of what lies beyond cause and effect. Because if you keep asking “why” again and again, if you keep looking for a cause behind proximal cause- and consistently and objectively refuse to be satisfied with superficial explanations – you end up in an infinite loop. To break the loop, you have to step out of it. And then, you are in the realm of spiritual science, the science behind all sciences. Following that line, I would like to say that stammering is not a speech disorder but a spiritual disease (you are welcome to disagree, of course).

All pws have many things in common, like: constant obsession with ‘me and my fluency’, my technique, my cure; what are others thinking of me? What kind of impression have I made on so and so? Even if I am hurting inside, I must put up the impression of being a “normal” regular guy or girl… In this constant attempt to sound and look like others, we NO more know who we truly are; who we truly are supposed to be… It is like an actor who after days of playing different roles, no more knows who he truly is, where is his home. These are signs of spiritual malady: we have lost our spiritual moorings.

This is why many pws (and even non-pws), complain of an emptiness inside, even when they have achieved a reasonable level of fluency, a good job etc etc. This is why, we in TISA strongly feel that “random acts of kindness” – like talking to a pws, who puts up a request in a whatsapp group (“Anyone free to talk?”) – is actually a kindness to oneself and is a holistic approach to recovery. In a nutshell, any departure from so called “normalcy” is a portal to our spiritual dimension. Surdas was blind. Ashtavakra had a body bent in eight places. Tulsidas was a jilted lover.  So forth and so on. There is a long list of “broken masters”.

So, if stammering is a spiritual disorder, what do we need to do? Simple: worry about others; serve others; listen to them; help others become good communicators – and don’t keep a log-book! Constantly expand your sphere of concern for others- go beyond “stammering”, beyond my state, my nationality… Be a little humble and honest and say: Yes, I stammer.... Instead of looking for inspiration for yourself, inspire others. 

Coming to your specific question about meditation: we may think very highly of ourselves and our abilities and our will-power, but the fact is: environment can twist and mould us like wax-dolls in a second! Therefore company you keep can be important. Books you read, movies you watch – all this goes towards creating an inner environment, which can defeat your stated external purpose in life. So be cognizant of this great psychological truth and use it to your advantage- by choosing your company carefully. In your case, it might help if you practice meditation with others- not alone. You could, for example, do 3-4 vipassana courses, one after another, in different cities, if you are free.

Another thing: it is not helpful to sit for meditation with such expectations: My mind will get focused on my breath. I will enjoy peace… Rather, when you sit, you could say to yourself: I am just sitting down for at least 60 minutes- no matter what happens or fails to happen. I will just sit. That is a better attitude for mediation. Finally remember: Saint is the Sinner, who never gave up (Sw Yoganand).