Acceptance - the stumbling block for the worthy of the worthies!
I too am still learning it.. :)) Not given up yet!
Why is it so difficult? If we listen to this answer given by Eckhart, about acceptance, it might help. He is talking about acceptance in a much bigger dimension: and it has a relevance to our case too.
Acceptance does not come till you are truly ready: that is: True acceptance does not come till we have tried everything, till we have practiced techniques year after year, downloaded and read billions of pdf books; spent LOTS of money, attended many programs - and still FAILED.
Only then a true spirit of surrender comes over us; Only then, we are truly willing to accept- this moment as it is, without reacting to it. Then, we are able to say: Yes, I stammered at this moment, so what? - and carry on to the next word, without batting an eyelid. This is what happens in spiritual life too- of what Eckhart is talking here.
So what happens after this kind of surrender and acceptance? The miracle. You are no more fighting against yourself. Remember: stammering is what you do, in order not to stammer. Secondary and junk behavior - dissolves. You communicate a lot better, as a result - and are free to LIVE at last. What else could matter? God willing, this attitude may transfer to other areas in life: spiritual search. Then, years later, you may say- oh, it was a blessing after all..
I too am still learning it.. :)) Not given up yet!
Why is it so difficult? If we listen to this answer given by Eckhart, about acceptance, it might help. He is talking about acceptance in a much bigger dimension: and it has a relevance to our case too.
Acceptance does not come till you are truly ready: that is: True acceptance does not come till we have tried everything, till we have practiced techniques year after year, downloaded and read billions of pdf books; spent LOTS of money, attended many programs - and still FAILED.
Only then a true spirit of surrender comes over us; Only then, we are truly willing to accept- this moment as it is, without reacting to it. Then, we are able to say: Yes, I stammered at this moment, so what? - and carry on to the next word, without batting an eyelid. This is what happens in spiritual life too- of what Eckhart is talking here.
So what happens after this kind of surrender and acceptance? The miracle. You are no more fighting against yourself. Remember: stammering is what you do, in order not to stammer. Secondary and junk behavior - dissolves. You communicate a lot better, as a result - and are free to LIVE at last. What else could matter? God willing, this attitude may transfer to other areas in life: spiritual search. Then, years later, you may say- oh, it was a blessing after all..
1 comment:
Haha..I joined and know TISA from about 4 years back. Acceptance for me could never be learnt by reading books or listening to others. Yes, it helped me to be point towards it. I have fallen back into despair a lot of times in life, reverting to the old stuttering mindset, feeling the same frustration that I felt before joining TISA and thinking was it really worth it. Going to all the SHG meetings, being open about my stutter, etc. etc. and still being in the same place from where I started.
The mind, you know, is a really clever thing. It identifies that we derive our pleasure and pain from our speech. It knows that it will have control over us as long as it keeps us in the cycle of fluent speech and stuttering. Keep us in the cycle of happiness (when we are fluent) and despair (when not so much).
Being with other people who stutter, openly stuttering, going to stuttering conferences frightens the mind. It is afraid because it sees its hold over you getting threatened. It will make sure that you stutter more so that it can trigger your weak points and continue to rule you.
Openly facing things that you are terrified of, invariably puts you in more misery at that moment. Time and again I have tried to be brave, go out and talk to people and time and again I have been disappointed.
But then a time comes, when you have had enough, and you break away from this happiness-grief cycle caused due to the mind using your stutter. You have had enough. You detach from the stutter. A sort of acceptance happens. But this awareness lasts a short time if you are not careful. You tend to fall back in the same old mind cycle if you dont persist with this awareness.
So making this really long story short : Go everyday and challenge yourself, all the while being detached from the outcome, postive or negative. The present moment is all there is. Whatever happened in the past will stay there and whatever happens in the future, you have no control over it. Dont mentally project yourself to the future because it will never be the same as you project it. Trust your body to respond to the situation when it comes and see the miracle of life happen through your voice. The peace within is the only thing that is important, everything else is insignificant.
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