I am Bharat Khanna, I am from Mumbai, by profession I am a software engineer and like many of you I stammer. I would like to share how I am getting on with it & how the Friends convention last week helped me to get a better perspective.
I have been a PWS since I was 5/6/7 age old, I don’t know how I got that & frankly I don’t care about that.
School and college life was like most of you experienced, obviously I was battling the speech demon, but there were other awful things happening in my life me which made me UNHAPPY - AGGRESSIVE - ANXIOUS - STRESSED - HELPLESS
So it was like: Emotional issues + Stammer ==>> frustration + more stammer + more awful situations. It was a vicious circle.
But now I am in more Control, happy, relaxed & in Gratitude
What contributed the change:
1. Professional Career - During the job hunt, on job, job switch & again on job phase, I learnt that,
All that matters is (whether PWS or not) WHAT YOU CAN DO. YOUR STRENGTHS. HOW YOU CONTRIBUTE to the world engine. Take pride in that.
You don’t realize it straightaway; you need to go through the grind.
2. ENDORPHINS - hormone which helps you to be happy. Playing some sport/ workout benefits a lot.
3. OXYGEN - Breathing exercises. What I have experienced is the more you breathe correctly the more speech comes out easily. BrahmVidya excercises have helped me in this regard.
4. Support system – Family & friends. Basically you need someone who loves you the way you are, believes in you that are born to do something special, for me it’s my MOTHER.
5. DONT GIVE A DAMN ATTITUDE - (this one is the most important)
Yeah I stutter... so what!!! That’s the way I speak. That’s the way it is. Some are tall/short, fat/slim, some speak loudly/quietly, some speak fast/slow.
I stutter, so what!!! I am thankful that at least I have VOICE.
For us PWS, stutter is not the Achilles’ heel, ITS THE FEAR OF STUTTER which causes the stutter.... cut out that fear from the core and you are unique free person.
--At FRIENDS convention--
Harish (met him at convention) rightly said it: FOCUS ON EFFICIENT COMMUNICATION not on fluent speech. - accept your speech the way it is, speak out to convey your ideas & stammer freely.. don’t hide it. [ACCEPTANCE].
I still stutter but by meeting wonderful people like Harish, Dhruv, Gaurav, Vishal, Pradeep, Dr Joe and other attendees at the convention.. My belief on acceptance has strengthened. I believe I am on right track…
Whatever we go through in life…makes us tougher for the oncoming battles that we are going to fight & emerge victorious …
Ed. Thanks Bharat for this "straight from the heart, and straight to the point" kind of sharing! We want to hear more from you..