April 1, 2015

Trying to not be a negative person!

Sometimes  advices such as "THINK POSITIVE" does not work. So we have alternative approach-" I AM TRYING TO NOT BE A NEGATIVE PERSON".

Life is a lab and each one of us is a  scientist - trying to find answers to our questions.


   My recollection of Herbertpur Workshop 2015:-

         I started from Shimla on 26th noon on my bike. Herbertpur is about 200 kms from Shimla. As I had not gone on a long tour since a long time, my left hand started aching after I had covered just 20 kms. I was so engrossed with random thoughts that I did not realize that I tried to cross a round-about through the  wrong side. I was stopped by police and fined-though I had stopped mid-way!
            It was life's first  traffic  fine for me and I realized it is not so scary experience as I had earlier thought it to be. I reached Guru Kripa Hotel Herbertpur at about 7 pm. Met fellow TISA members and asked them whether I can share room with them. This was also the first for me as earlier I used to book separate room and live alone.
              Had wonderful three days with fellow stutters. This also changed my mood from sad to happy. It  rains whenever I travel to Herbertpur on my bike,I get drenched and it feels good :) After workshop I attended the online skype call after a long-long gap. 

Some takeaways for me:

1.) Mohit from Dehradun said:- " Earlier I used to think WHAT IF I stammer before other people. Now after attending the workshop I feel -   SO WHAT ".

2.) My stammering has increased during the last 6 months . Some of my fellow participants asked me whether I had attended any TISA workshops in the past. I said yes.At the back of my mind I was feeling what would they think- this guy is still stammering-not using prolongation,not paying attention to proper breathing, not using bouncing.
             But I was reassured when Sachin Sir remarked once while talking to the group-"If Abhishek comes to meet me after 5 years and he would still stammer, then I would accept him unconditionally. I would not reprimand him by saying- अरे तुमने मेरा सिखाया हुआ सारा ज्ञान मिटटी में मिला दिया। इतना कुछ सीखने के बावजूद हकला रहे हो "    This is an example of unconditional support. How few people are there in the world who can extend this kind of support ?

3.) Acceptance- that I am a stutterer has two aspects to it. First one is I accepting myself with my stutter whole heartedly. This is very important and it is entirely in our hands to accept our stutter. Second level of acceptance is for people in our lives to accept that we stutter. This is not in our hands, we should try to make others accept us with our stutter . But if they dont then we need not bother much.
         And after acceptance comes the step to improve our communication skills- with the help of others(fellow pws, friends, family,SHG, online SHG....)

Little bit of advice to people who have learnt bouncing and practicing for the first time- As Sachin Sir told us , our stammering may increase when we use bouncing. But we need not panic. We would observe that by using techniques we would be talking  more than ever before. As earlier we tried to speak very less due to fear of  Stammering( Mohit's WHAT IF syndrome), we used to hide stammering and speak less.Now we are speaking more and facing our demons head-on.

I conclude with TISA slogan- " हकलाओ मगर प्यार से "


sachin said...

Yes, Abhishek, Acceptance has a deep meaning.. We must accept ourselves unconditionally..and each other too. I am so happy that you came. Alumni always bring new insights and help other new participants.
Haklao magar pyar se...

kanpur vikings said...

Rightly said....accepting ourselves the way we are would be the key for recovery

Shivaji m said...

Yes abishek we have to accept our stammering wholeheartedly.

Mohit said...

Sir awesome, straight from the heart