February 3, 2014

Chennai Chapter Meeting Report on 02.02.2014

The Chennai chapter meeting held on 2.2.2014 were attended by 8 pws. This time I asked everyone to speak on any topic as per their wish and others would deliberately counter each one of them. Everyone chosen their topic and while speaking, others started asking so many questions.

Vijayakumar talked about the plight of the Agriculturists, who were not able to fix their product prices, how the middlemen earning a lot, how the agricultural lands converted into plots in Tamil Nadu. He also cited one example of comparing present price of tomato and that of a few months back. One kg of tomato was sold about Rs.50 few months back and now it was selling a merge rate of Rs.8 per kg.  Imagine the plight of those farmers who put so much of efforts but ended as a loser. But, everyone agreed that agriculture was the most satisfying profession.

Shanmugam, almost become an ex-stammerer used to come to Chennai TISA centre 3 times a week to improve his fluency in English. He has spoken about his relapse of stammering whenever he was not able to achieve the sales target.

Sufiyan told two stories. As he hails from Kerala, we asked him why not much industrial development taken place there. He informed that it was due to strong political unions. One thing everyone agreed was Kerala preserving its nature very well than any other state in India. For this, one pws responded that most of the keralaties working in the Middle East, sending sufficient money to their family and thus there was no need for  Industrial growth at Kerala. This is really a moot point.

Shiek talked about “God is everywhere”. He told that he was seeing everything as God and informed also that this wasSUFI philosophy. He used to thank God for whatever he got (good or bad) in his life.

Bijoy has informed that his cheque deposited in a bank as repayment of loan and bank informed them it was bounced back and he has to pay a fine of Rs.100. Bijoy after speaking to so many bank officers came to know that his money was wrongly deposited in someone’s account. But the bank still insisted him to pay the penalty. After literally fought with many bank staff, the bank withdrawn the fine. Bijoy felt this as a victory for his speech.

   Bijoy also spoken about the nature’s splendor at Maghalaya which he described as a mini Switzerland. He also informed that he would make necessary arrangements at Assam for sightseeing. I told to him that I was very interested in seeing North east states but because of fear, I was postponing my visit.

Gnanasekaran, as usual gave another beautiful lecture on “Back to Basics”, this time on LEARN TO LAUGH. This we have to learn from kids. He informed that kids were laughing 500 times a day. It is sufficiently good even we laugh at least 15 times a day. The sad part is that on some days we never laugh even once. We have to learn to laugh. Gnanasekaran has also informed that he had informed to his bank that he was ready to take part in video conference next time, hitherto he was not agreeing for. We all have given him a round of applause.

When my turn came, I decided to speak on stammering, because we had not touched the subject once. I asked the following questions:

1.    Is it good for a pws to learn more about stammering?.
Most of them replied negatively. I had explained my point of view.  Those who wanted to serve for TISA or any other stammering communities, they must update their knowledge. For those who want their cure only, reading more and more about stammering was only “UNNECCESSARY KNOWLEDGE” which will confuse them. The requirements of such pws were to know basic facts about stammering, accept their stammering, find out themselves which techniques were more suitable and practice it till such a time that he was able to control 99% of his stammering.

2.    How pws can measure their improvements?
I explained that after 2-3 months of practice, the pws have control over his speech. That is even if he stammers, he would not get afraid and confidently continue their speech.. After about six months, the pws will be comfortable with his stammering. He won’t use word substitutions and would speak the words which he wanted comfortably. This way, a pws can measure his progress.

After the meeting, I asked Sheik, whether he was practicing any techniques?. He replied that as he himself accepting his stammering and living at peace, there was no need for him to practice. I was really shocked after hearing his reply. Most of the pws were grossly misunderstood the concepts of “ACCEPTANCE” and “LIVING AT PEACE”.

For the better understanding of the above two concepts especially by the youngsters, here under I gave my actual advice given to Sheik.

“ Sheik, you have not yet been married. The above two concepts are relative terms. It may apply to the older pws like me, who settled in life. married 30 years before and my wife was accepted my stammering long back, also economically sound and leading a peaceful retired life. I can very well say that I have accepted my stammering and living at peace with myself. But it is not possible for pws not like you. You have to get  married. How do you know that your future wife will accept your stammering; how do you know that your children will accept your stammering; 

Do you know how long your employer will accept your stammering; how do you know that your employer will give promotions if you going on stammering. Is it possible for you to live with peace yourself when your wife, children and the employer are not accepting your stammering?. Moreover, they were expecting you to deliver more for them when years passing by.
Now a days, this world becomes a competitive one. A pws can accept your stammering and live at peace may be possible only at villages and defiantly not at big cities like Chennai where the competitions are cut throat one and humpty number of talents are available to grab your opportunities. I know a few parents of pws, who borrowed loan from banks for their wards education pressuring them like anything to get a good job and repay the bank loan at the earliest. Because parents do not understand the difficulties faced by the pws.

The logic behind acceptance is to get rid of our emotional baggage, thus having more positive frame of mind to tackle the stammering and more energy to do the practice. A major mistake most of the pws doing are not practicing at all. It is very tough to do small, small things for a longer period of time. But what other options they got? You have only two options, ie either practice for one year (after accepting your stammering) conquer your stammering and  make everybody happy and start living good life  or live miserable & depressing stammering life throughout your life time”.

After my advice, Sheik realized his mistake and requested me to teach speech therapy. I teached the speech therapy to him which I learned in the year 2001. Sheik has promised to practice it regularly.

That’s all from Chennai chapter. 

1 comment:

sachin said...

Yes, learning to deal with interruptions calmly is an important skill for all of us. And Acceptance is not equal to "Giving up", "lethargy", "ignoring the need for communication skills" etc etc. Acceptance is just the opposite of Denial. Living in "denial" is as bad as "I have accepted my stammering so I wont do anything.."
Let us constantly remind ourselves and each other these basic facts of life ..
Great job, Chennai group! Congrats to everyone..