November 27, 2013

STAMMERING ONLY CAN BE MANAGED

(Here is a post from Umesh Rawat, Delhi SHG):
As in my last post I mentioned that I joined teaching as a job. You
can read it again from here
(http://t-tisa.blogspot.in/2013/09/from-umesh-rawat.html)
After almost 3 months experience of teaching in a school as a pws, I find
some new things about stammering and myself which I want to share here on TISA blog.

As we always thought that at someday by doing constant practice, we
will be able to become a perfect speaker. Its not so easy. At least not in
my case. Yes, its true we can learn to manage it to a great extent. In
these 3 months, I experienced that if I follow some management
technique like slow speaking, Pausing, Rhythmic speech etc. then I
could manage the fluent speech during whole lecture. But if I become
some over excited or don’t follow the rules then I fall in the same
dip of blocking and stammering. These days I observed sensations when
I find more difficulty in speaking?? Which things trigger stammering
more?? And how to make yourself relax and calm in difficult speaking
situations?? I learned that stammering only can be managed, you can
never be so much confident or claim that now I will no more stammer in
any situation. Even sometimes I also felt that I came out from the
class by delivering a perfect lecture and talking someone in person
but finding the same blocks again. From where are they come now??
Environment changed, Speaking style changed and stammering came!! We should always be ready for all these ups and downs. Some days you will perfectly control your tongue, some days will not!!
                      I also want to confess one more thing about
accepting stammering. After more than 2 years with TISA and attending
many workshops and shg meetings, I still not able to accept stammering
as such. I can wear the t-shirt “haklao magar pyar se”, I can tell a
group that I stammer. I can put the name card of stammering in my
neck. But if I ask myself truly if I did these things because I have
accepted stammering then a different voice come from inside. No, I did
these things because people say being open and sharing about
stammering can heals it. So all I did to get rid of it, it’s not a
acceptance that was needed. Still I don’t like stammering and become very
upset if someday stammering back fires me. But now I have learned that
it can be managed but be ready for ups and down too. After all its
life.
-------------------------------------------
Editor: Acceptance is a life long process- an attitude towards difficulties of life. I have read some where a good definition of acceptance for a pws: If I continue to speak the way I do now, for the rest of my life, I will not feel bad for myself, I will not give up opportunities because of it, I will not say NO to life, because of it; I will continue doing whatever I can, to help myself..  
That is acceptance and it takes a whole life.. So, dont feel bad if you have not arrived there! It is ok to be a human - and it is OK to be a stammerer. Perfectly OK and fine. Thnaks for sharing your thoughts so honestly. TRUTH is the best therapy for most of us..

6 comments:

Kushal Batabyal said...

Very nice post Umesh.

I can strongly relate to it, as I am in the same boat.
Even though I am as of present very open about my stammering, I am still ashamed of it at times.

Just one thought here.
- It has been a mere 3 months since you have been teaching..... Do you think you will have the same reactions and feelings after say 3 years of teaching... if not 30!!

: Best Wishes, Kushal.

Hemant Kumar 靈氣 said...

here is link of real story of a PWS teacher (who got more respect from students than other teachers) :
http://t-tisa.blogspot.in/2012/08/first-impression-is-not-last-impression.html

Pritam Gupta said...

Reminds me of the old debate between the Idealists and Materialists, the former concluding that Idea is primary and Arrangement of matter is secondary , & the latter concluding that Matter is primary and Idea is secondary. This is analogous to "Cure" vs "Acceptance" debate in stammering. Basically the specified arrangement of matter concerning stammering remains the same , we can conclude whatever we want "cure" or "acceptance" as both are seeking truth and causes behind stammering. Just my thoughts !

Amitsingh Kushwah said...

प्रिय उमेश जी, बहुत ही सुन्दर और व्यवहारिक। आपने अपने अनुभव को बहुत ही ईमानदारी से व्यक्त किया है। हमारी जिन्दगी में अनेक उतार चढ़ाव आते रहते हैं और हकलाहट भी इनमें से एक है। हकलाहट की चुनौती का योजनबद्ध तरीके से मैनेज करने की कला ही हमारी सच्ची जीत है। बधाई और आभार।

Hemant Kumar 靈氣 said...

हकलाहट भी रक्त-चाप और धडकनों की तरह है , जैसे गुस्से मे , भय से किसी सामान्य आदमी का भी रक्त-चाप या धडकने बढ जाती है, और निराशा मे, अवसाद मे घट जाती है , वैसे ही हर आदमी कभी ना कभी , किसी विशेष परिस्थिती मे हकला भी जाता है । तो जो चीज सबको होती है , उसका सिर्फ़ प्रबंध ही हो सकता है निदान नहीं | we can just manage it with in normal limit by continuous Efforts

Rajesh V said...

@Umesh Bro - such a good post really thought provoking.
Thanks for sharing.
Regards !