August 15, 2013

My experience at the previous two NCs

Dear all,

I have attended both NC ie 1st  at Bhubaneswar and 2nd at Coorg. My experience as per as stammering problem concern are more or less same with other pws like meeting so many pws at one place there by "You are not alone" feeling which comforted me,
learned so many techniques from other pws,wondered after seeing some of the pws how could they were still able to smile even after a severe blocked speech ...they got really unbelievable courage etc... etc... These can be only experienced and not learned through books or internet.

Here I will share my feelings with you which may be unique after attending 2 NC along with my wife. Yes... It is about my marriage life before joining TISA and after joining TISA.

I married my wife in the year 1983 ie 30 years before . My father and myself did not disclosed about my stammering either to my wife or to her parents.( It is hurting me till one year back that I should have disclosed about my stammering to her before marriage).

Very next day after my marriage, she asked about my stammering and whether I had taken any treatment for this.(My wife is a Pharmacist and know something in medical field. In fact Dr.Sachin uses to call her as Dr.Madam). I replied that I tried once and hope I would get rid of this soon. Then she never asked or complained about it except advised few times to try to talk slowly. She started helping me in buying bus & train tickets, ordering food at restaurants and at difficult speaking situations.

After the formation of TISA, I became the Co-ordinator of Chennai SHG in the year 2009 as per the advise of Dr.Sachin. Initially, I used to conduct weekly meetings mostly on Sundays. On that meeting day morning, I would tell her about the meeting and she simply answer ok. After a few months, she noticed improvements in my speech. I started ordering food at the restaurants and she allowed me to do so. But still this disability behaved as a thin barrier between us(it's my opinion only and her's)in spite of her full cooperation.

Then came the 1st NC at Bhubaneswar in the year 2011. I informed her about the Ist NC and invited her also. Luckily Raja's wife agreed to attend the NC and my wife also agreed as she was very much fond off visiting new places. On the 1st day of the NC,she saw so many pws in one class room with a mixed reaction in her face . Listened presentations given by many pws including mine. In the evening Dr.Sachin asked the following question to my wife:

Dr.Sachin: Madam, Can you give honest reply about your reaction on your husband's stammering immediately after marriage?

My wife: I was really shocked! But as per Hindu tradition, I have to accept him as my husband in toto irrespective of his handicap. He is a very good person and I am started seeing his positives only.

After hearing her reply, I felt a strange emotional feelings started circulating within my mind which I could not be able to express even now. That day I started feeling that the so called "barrier" in my mind become a bit thinner. The next 2 days she went for sight seeing along with Mrs.Raja. When we departed to railway station, a few pws touched both of our feet and asked blessings.My wife's eyes got moisten.

 After returning back home, life was as usual and I used to speak more while going for shopping, restaurants, friends & relatives houses.

Then came the 2nd NC at Coorg. This time she readily agreed to come as Mrs.Raja was also coming. At Coorg, she moved and interacted  more with pws and also enjoyed the nature's beauty. (Thanks to Bangalore SHG & in particular to Dinesh for the excellent arrangements made in the midst of forest). She also participated some of the fun activities there.

After attending Coorg, there was a real change in my mind. I am at a real peace with my mind for the first time in my life. She also started asking about SHG meetings. The most important change I felt was hitherto whenever I got block, her face become slightly restless. But not anymore after Coorg visit. She listen very patently during my block.That thin barrier between us vanished for ever.

Now I am totally at peace with myself. I could not get this peace  from the best Psychiatrist in the world or the best saint in India. This was possible because of TISA only. As Dinesh stated in his post, if TISA existed 30 years before, I would have had peace with myself 30 years before. I take this opportunity to thank TISA, Dr.Sachin whose dedication is unparallel and to all the tISA members who changed my life totally at free of cost but with lots of love, affection,respect... no words to complete.

An appeal to all the married pws. Those who still have some stammering barrier with your spouse,Pl attend the NC with your spouse. This so called barrier will definitely vanish. I grantee you that on this count. Believe my words. An appeal to all the pws who are going to marry shortly to attend NC so that you can easily get rid of the barrier and no need to wait for 30 years like me.

This time my wife is not coming to NC as she already had seen Delhi. Moreover I want to be present at all the sessions during NC. My million thanks to every member of TISA who changed my life.

Good luck to all. We will meet at NC.

6 comments:

Hemant Kumar "हृदय" said...

many many thanks for sharing your experiences . It will be helpful for unmarried as well as married PWS Also.....

Amitsingh Kushwah said...

Great!

sachin said...

Beautiful sharing! Two of you, are really "made for each other" by the Creator. I was trying to help myself- REALLY- and discovered in the process that the path went through "service to others". BOTH of you are TISA's guardian angels! Keep blessing us and praying for us..

jasbir singh said...

Thanks for very honest sharing.

J P Sunda said...

Thankyou Mani sir for sharing your thoughts so candidly! and Yes, all of us really enjoyed madam's company at both the events!

I agree- The peace that came through attending last two NCs was unparallel to anything that has helped me in the past. When stuttering becomes the norm for 3 days, you can't stop your life from getting transformed :-)

Dinesh said...

Thank you Mani Sir for such a wonderful post. Certainly one of my all time favorite post!!