October 17, 2012

Eye contact with boss is a tough deal. Only for stammerers????

It has been quite difficult for me to have eye contact with  my big brother at school time and similarly now with all the HOD's here in my factory.

Even when my direct boss or senior boss used to be in good mood and they want to share some light moments with me......i feel a bit uncomfortable in having FULL EYE CONTACT with them.

Today also, in the late evening, when my direct boss called me in his office; as usual i enteted his office and waited for his directions in standing mode only.You know, sitting in your boss's chair is very fatal.Sitting on a chair in his office means you are free enough to take some additional assignments, which he always have in abundant.....so i stood up....waiting for his directions.....

He said in a light mood- sit down friend (baitho yaar ashish).And he discussed some of the routine office issues with me as if i am his deputy.....Should have been a cheerful moment for me, but i was a bit stressful and finding it difficult to have eye contact with him, although he seemed happy with my performance.

Any how, after some discussion, he called me to take a chair beside him in front of his monitor to draft some mails for him.He actually hates replying to official e-
mails... :-)

While drafting the mails, sitting besides him, i was uncomfortable and i was stuttering severely.

He was co-operative as always.

So after that little stint in his office, i was back to my table.Then i thought that it is not only stammering that is the culprit here.

Then i remembered the moments when even at home, i didn't felt comfortable even with my father and brother.

So stuttering have caused  it or this my BASIC NATURE have caused stuttering............a question here!!!





4 comments:

sachin said...

Yes, you are right. We tend to interpret everything in the light of our stammering. This is not true. We need to look BEYOND our stammering.. at life more holistically.
On another note- you seem to have a nice boss!

Blue Kite Dreamz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Blue Kite Dreamz said...

Many of us have had the similar syndrome of not being able to maintain a relaxed eyed contact,few of us have gotten over it..with practice and overcoming our insecurities by strengthing our other facets of self.

Few reasons which might may or may not hold good in your case..but are worth reckoning..

a)Eyes are the windows to the soul and if someone has developed a negative image about self, he would not want that window to be open for others and give them opportunity to peep into them and find about about his insecurities.

b)When ones anxiety levels are high it is natural for the body to look away from the reason of the anxiety.

c)May be your are allergic to something and your eyes flutter to keep themselves moist :)

d)Perhaps yout boss is so tall that its not possible to keep eye contact without straining your neck :)

Its something you would have to work upon gradually,do good things to yourselves ,feel good about yourself,feel the powerful man thats awaiting to explode and come out of you..

We are not born with this not able to maintain eye contact , its something we develop over the years and then we get trapped in its infinite loop..

For starters go to the nearest mirror right now and look into your eyes and talk good to yourself :)

All the best buddy !!

J P Sunda said...

Ashish, its so good that you are writing about these daily experiences of yours. And yes, there is no GOLDEN STANDARD of living..Let there be an UNCOMPROMISING INNER acceptance of who you are at this moment and do what you think you need to do.

@Joy: Great Analysis ;-)