May 8, 2012

My Name Is HARISH ------- OR------ GORAV DATTA ?


Two years ago (I was 22 yrs old at that time) i was riding my motor bike without helmet , usually i don't ride without helmet this was my first time and ‘luckily’ I was caught by the police .I got very frightened because this was my first interaction with a policeman & i was without helmet and also i was a stutterer. Suddenly by blood pressure shoots up. My heart was beating so intensively as if it would explode within few seconds and i would have a heart attack.

I requested the policeman not to take challan, but he didn’t listen and he asked for the papers -Driving license, RC (Registration Certificate) , insurance ,pollution etc .I found that I didn’t had any pollution and insurance paper at that time . I got more frightened .I gave my driving license and RC to him .He took his challan pad and started writing my bike number and then he asked my name .My god, How to say the NAME ? I tried but ‘GORAV’ was not at all coming so told him my name is “HARISH”. He looked into my driving license and said that your name is GORAV DATTA but you are saying your name is HARISH. (Now I was dead).

He asked the other policeman to put me in the jail in the “CASE OF 420 “. Now I didn’t know what to say and even if I know what to say problem is how to say. I was totally dumb at that time and was about to faint. Policeman told don’t try to be over smart. Then he asked about my address and I could just point my finger toward the driving license & I was feeling as if I had no tongue , there was no tongue movement or no sound was coming from my mouth at all .My tongue was stiff . He told me to signed the Challan . I signed it and he gave me a copy of that. It was Rs 2,200 challan.

I immediately came back home from that place (Actually i was going for shopping and couldn’t go for shopping after that HORROR incident).I told my father that I was having difficulty in conversing with a policeman ( but didn’t told him about MR HARISH ) and when I showed him my challan he got very angry on me – why you were not wearing helmet ? You waste a lot of money, You don't know the value of money .He then asked -where is your RC ? I told him I don't know.He got more angry that how come I didn’t know where my RC was . Actually the policeman had taken my RC and I was not at all aware of that (I was somewhere else –full of shame, guilt,fear and anxiety)

 I cried the whole night  :-(  . Why all this happens to me ??  What wrong things I had done ?? I am 22 and couldn’t even say my name or address . I give so much pain to my parents . Why I was born to this earth ?? Why parents got married ?? Why God had made me like that?. I don't want to live anymore .





15 comments:

Rajesh V said...

@Gorav--Even i faced similar situation with traffic police for jumping on red signal.
They asked my name and I said in stammering way "RaRaRajesh" and they asked my dad name i was blocked totally, then he saw my face i was struggling, then i said please wait i am stammerer i will take my time. Then he waited and i spelled it and took challana :)

Accept your style of speaking, believe in you. It is you passed your years and still counting.
If we feel bad for our situation then what shall people with dumb and deaf or any physically challenged people shall do?

I hope you have changed now as this situation happened 2years back and you also have been with TISA from long back.

With Regards.

Rajesh V said...

A guy with disabled leg can't sit aside and feel bad for his situation and feel shy as all are seeing him in his walk of life. He never tries to sit and cry, he will get up :)
He surely tries to walks with his limited support but still reaches his destination and proves his confidence.
If you believe in change it happens automatically and we can manage our speech bro :)

With Regards.

lalit said...

gorav u have very good writing skills, u writes like a establish writer ...please tell why u said ur lucky to get caught by police man.

Mohit kumar said...

Even i had faced that type of HORROR incident many times,but the incident that you faced is 2years back. Now we don't have to be frustrated on any condition, just keep smiling and accept the way you are. That's what Life teaches us.

sachin said...

Dear Gorav- I am happy that you are able to write about it. It must have taken lot of courage.
The fact is- we ALL- have been there- shame, fear, guilt, regret.
It is time to TALK and WRITE about it..

J P Sunda said...

Gorav, you did your best at that time. yes, stuttering does causes a lot of suffering and pain especially to young adults. When we are through, it also makes us better person but the cost is sometimes very high. All you can do is just surrender to the pain, let the pain, suffering, shame, guilt to be as it is. And it will die down with time if you just let it be

Harish Usgaonker said...

Gorav,
I can empathize with this situation. It is a terrible feeling. I remembered an incident that happened to me years back, when I met my tuition teacher on the streets, and when she asked me-"What are you doing now?", I just got chocked and the words just wouldn't come out! And after that I had a similar feeling like you mentioned- That I'll be rated useless by the virtue of my speech.

Hah... Seems all of us have similar stories. But it feels great when you talk / read about similar stories coming from others.

You found it easy to say the name which I used to find difficult!! Stammering is so funny :)

Er. Umesh said...

One good thing you did is to share that bad incident with others. It too require lot of courage and will help you to remove your buried frustration and guilty. Life is move on!!

Vinay said...

Gorav !! You can do well :) You are already on that path :)

subodh singh said...

This is the story of most of the stammerers....

subodh singh said...

This is the story of every stammerer......

Dinesh said...

In my high school -8th 9th and 10th whenver any teacher asked me to read in the class - not even a word came out, forget the word not even any sound came out! :-)

You had the money to pay to police man, you had a vehicle to drive, you had parents who could scold you.. how many are privileged to have all these?

We are always unhappy thinking of what we dont have but do we realise the "treasures" that we have?

j jasbir singh said...

Acceptance is great but we should also share our success stories.

GORAV DATTA - HAKLA said...

thanks every one for your loving and encouraging words .I also wants to thanks Tisa(each n every member)for giving me such a wonderful platform to share my experiences .Really writing is very good therapy -- thanks sachin sir for encouraging me to write , now i can really see n feel the result of writing and sharing. :-)

amit dixit said...

Gaurav..we all have similar experiences.Now you are at right place ..and with right people..I am eager to know about "luckily"