All Students are always dream about their school life, college life like ‘What a cool life we had in school’ ‘May be those days comes back’. But I hatred my school days. There are not single moments where I live, laugh my school days. All the time I was crying, feeling ashamed of myself. Everyone laughs at me even my teacher’s . I do remember when I was in 6th, my math’s teacher told us to read those questions where you having problems, everybody standing and reading his questions. Now it’s my turn, when I speak first word w w w (What- is the word), I got very hard block then my teacher said “Mohit tum baith jao, jab tak tum bologe tab tak main upar chali jaungi”. These types of words now become frequent to me. Many teachers like my Hindi teacher, social science teacher, and English teacher are always depressing me by saying terrible words to me.
I was not having a single TRUE friend who supports me, who understands my problem. All of them makes fun to me, start teasing in front of girls and girls also supports them, enjoy with them. All of them having a friends circle, groups and always doing fun and masti, but I was seating at last bench along wall side seat and praying when will the teacher comes and start taking their class because usually when there is no teacher in class, then only all students start teasing me. I do remember neither my friends nor my teacher gives me any type of suggestion regarding my stuttering problem.
I don’t know why the teacher ranks 1st above parents as according to our Hindu mythology, but still I respect my old teacher but can’t forget those vicious day of my life. But yes one teacher I love to take her name, her name is Evon mam (Love you mam) he used to call me “Dun-dun” every time she saw me, she start kissing on my cheek (I still don’t know why). This is the only reason why I used to start avoiding my school. When my holiday or summer vacation gets over, I was again on my world of shyness, ashamed, frustration.
I didn’t participate in any annual function because I scared of myself, I have to say my name on stage. My brother and sister have got lots of prizes in their school time, but I don’t. At that time I hadn’t met any other stutter until I gone to college. Its 6years now when I left my school, but still don’t want to meet those school guys, never forgives those guys. Many of them send me a friend request in FB, but I never accept him except a few.
My pain in school days can’t be described in one article, it requires 100 of them.I hate my school up to 10th, but from 11th I become much bolder because that time I realize when you are looser, people will hurt you more n more, but if you be strong, people will respect you more.
This things i never told to any body, Thanks to TISA where i can say what i want to.
Mohit Kumar (Patna, Bihar)-9905592774