I always find myself complaining that no matter what I do,my fear always tends to overpower me in a speaking situation and I start substituting and avoiding words.No matter how much meditation,how much blogging I do,this fear never tends to go.
Today,I found my answer !!!!!!
I was reading a book by a very famous motivator Dr.Schwartz in which he so rightly says:-"The biggest cure of fear is ACTION".
Let me give you an example.I went to Rishikesh last to last year to do water-rafting.In between we all had to jump from a high cliff.Now I had 2 very different friends with me.The first one (lets call him A) just climbed the cliff,not once looked down and jumped.Just like that.I actually thought at that moment that it was damn too easy.But then my other friend (lets call him B),went towards the cliff,he just stood there for a minute,just lost into God knows what thoughts.That 1 minute of thinking cost him the jump.No matter how much we motivated him to jump,he just couldnt,and its not like he was trying,he was putting in every bit of strength he had in him,to jump but just couldnt.Each of us jumped 3 times but he just stood there.And till date he repents that he couldnt enjoy the thrill of that jump.
Thats precisely what happens to the majority of us in everyday life.Just before we are faced with a speaking situation,instead of just speaking out,we start weighing the possible pros and cons our less than perfect speech might have.And once we have these thoughts its GAME OVER.Then we spend the rest of the day,drenched in self-pity and feeling both sorry and agitated at ourselves.
Even during the national conference,we had to introduce ourselves many times.The times when I spoke when someone asked me to were the times when so much fear used to accumulate inside of me,that I thought I was going to faint but once I just rose my hand when introduction started without thinking twice and it was the best feeling ever,I stuttered less but more importantly,I didnt let any fear to accumulate inside of me and it was the greatest feeling.It felt so light.
In the example I gave before,it wasnt the jump that was difficult but it was the wait for the jump that was excruciating. Mr A acted and just jumped and hence didnt allow any fear to overpower him and we all know what happened to Mr B.
Similarly,its not the actual speech which is difficult but its the fear of stuttering that does the most of the damage.We all know that the longer we postpone talking to someone,the more difficult it becomes.
As Dr Schwartz puts it "Use actions to gain confidence and cure fear. Action feeds and strengthens confidence,inaction in all forms feeds fear.To fight fear-act.To increase fear-wait,put-off and postpone."
So the next time you are faced with a difficult speaking situation,just stand up and speak without thinking twice.Stop waiting for the time when everything would be perfect and just speak up.Because no matter how much deep breathing you do,no matter how much affirmations you say,without action-you cant cure fear.Its the hard hitting truth,the sooner you realize it,the further in life you will go.