Sometime I think why some words are so ugly that they can’t even pronounced properly. I hated some words because they are terrible to speak. But some time I liked them when they came fluently but..why ?? Words are words! They always same. Words are always beautiful. I am an covert stammer(still I m) and hated to disfluency. I not only hate of mine disfluency but also of others; who stutters in front of mine. Is it is so bad that we should hate it? Who says it is bad? Only stammers people of my own type say this; because for us, speech is only a worthy thing in this world. When I start to work on acceptance, sharing my problem with others. Believe me! I didn’t get a single one who says it is bad. Everyone made by god is unique. Everyone given some sort of problem by birth. Good people never respond negative; if they it means they want to hide their own problem.
I want to share my experience with words. I mostly get block on words that start with vowel sounds. Few days back; I went to the stationary book store. I wanted to buy an “Envelop” from the shop. I opened my mouth; try to speak out the word but word stuck somewhere in throat. Then I remembered the technique like bouncing or something else. But what the hell was happening with me. I could not even speak with them. At last I have to replace my word Envelop to Lifafa. I got depressed. I know all the techniques but still can’t implement them in real life. What I am learning? But after talking to my motivators; I got my answer. I want to implement any technique at time of difficulty. But I don’t have much experience to use these techniques in lighter mode. Then how it can be possible?? I hated words with vowel sounds. Sometime thinks if these vowels are kicked out of dictionary then it will be perfect! But words are words, they remain always same. They always beautiful. Only our mind categorized them according to situation. Learning to deal with this complex,critical mind is needed One thing I have to learn, I will have to love the disfluency of mine and of others. Words From deep of my heart.