Experiments with my Stammer!!!

Hello guys!!! i'm writing in the blog after a long time. Actually, i'm doing experiments with my stammer these days.i have given up using speech tools to modify the blocks.i was feeling pressurized 24*7 when using speech techniques. i was using these tools effectively in easy conditions but in feared situations, i failed to do so.That increases my frustration level up. i decided not to work on physical stammer but on mental stammer .also i came across a sheehan quote "speech techniques are act to avoid your stammer".so,i'm not using speech techniques other than proper breathing. i'm observing my stammer these days. "OBSERVATION CHANGES THINGS".This idea came me from Ruth mead book "speech is a river". so, i have decided to go for "Cognitive Behaviour Therapy " approach.i'm no longer working for modification of speech blocks.i'm understanding my thoughts, feelings, physiological and behavioural responses linked with my stammer. for this,i have started diary writing.i have heard a lot about the benefits of diary writing in recovery from any emotional pain. i can now feel the change in myself. i'm now able to organize my frustrated thoughts and calm outlook on life. In every night,i have something to record, a milestone reached, a struggle battled. i'm doing this from past month. Believe me, my mental struggle is much less now. i'm focusing more on my avoidances or substitutions or crutches i make because with ever avoidance or substitution i make, i'm reinforcing the mind thought that "stammering is a bad thing. i have to avoid this at any cost". now ,whenever i feel bad about something , i wrote it down in diary or share the same with my stammering buddies via facebook. it's indeed very liberating. also,i''m going to start my youtube channel soon.Sorry for my bad english. i'm working on it. Regards