December 30, 2013

A CONFESSION Need to be confessed......


Hi....
As some of you knew me, I am Upasana from Bangalore SHG.. I am not new to TISA Blog..I read each every Blogs post by PWS and WWS...but yes I am not a regular blog poster..

After one day the year 2013 is going to finish.... A new year 2014 will come having new hopes, new challenges, new problems, new solutions, new ups and downs...  And 2013 will remain in Past mixed of failure and success..


TISA is the best gift I ever got for myself. When I had least hope on me I found TISA, I joined Bangalore SHG and attended NC 2012 at Coorg. Those 3 days spent there are the memorable days for rest of my Life..

TISA’s one of the basic rule is Acceptance.. Or I can say that TISA means Acceptance... One will slowly and gradually accept his/her stammering after joining TISA. In my case also same thing happened.. That took some time, but now I can say that I accept my stammering. Now a day also some time I can not say “Hello” smoothly in phone or I can not say my name “Upasana” in front of some one. But I don’t depress because of this..

I am working as a software engineer in an IT firm, and I am the one who talk with maximum employees in my company. I stammer but I don’t stop talking. Sometime when I talk with any employee for the first time may be they smile while I stammer, then I tell them ‘Hey I am a stammer’. Then everything goes smoothly.. They will give me time to complete my sentence or word if I face blocks. I never hesitate for talking just because I may stammer while talking.

But before 2013 will be finished I want to confess something before TISA. Even though I accept my stammering but I really can’t tell anyone (to a non-stammered) about TISA. L In my family only my mother knows it, and in my friend circles only 2-3 friends know it though I have a large friends group.

When I go to SHG meeting if anyone asks me that where are you going..? , I simply reply that I have some work. It is true that I am not lying but at that time I could say about TISA to them, but I am not doing it. At that point of time I tell to myself that ‘Hey he/she doesn’t need to know about TISA, so why I will tell them..!!’.. But may be I am not outspoken about it to a non PWS or a non WWS. Or I really don’t know how I will start to talk about it.. Even though some time I really want to tell about TISA to some of my friends, but I really can’t. I only think to start talking it (may be that takes so much time to think) and a new topic of discussion came, and I stop thinking about TISA at that point of time..

I am doing this confession because I really want to change it... And I only have to do something to change myself as no one can do it better than me... So hope 2014 will bring a new ME.... J J



A Very Happy and prosperous New Year 2014 in Advance to all TISA Members... J J


5 comments:

sachin said...

Thanks Upasana for this honest and deep sharing... Such posts keep our faith going that we are doing something good & useful collectively, as a community..
Dont worry too much about not being able to talk to friends about TISA. One thing- they may not really need to know; second- TISA is just a community of people walking the same path; becoming famous or popular was never the goal- as long as, we can reach out and touch the lives of those who may benefit from this approach..
Lastly, as you have said, all this takes time. Give yourself MORE time- one day, all these little obstacles will melt away- and you will be TOTALLY at peace with yourself. It will be like re-incarnating without death.. in the same body-mind. Till then, best wishes from all of us.. Keep writing. It was a pleasure to read..

Manimaran said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Manimaran said...

Upasansa, hats off to your honest post.
My view of not talking about TISA to your family and friends is not total acceptance. By lying/or not talking to them, you are carrying a little bit of emotional baggage with you and for that reason only, you made confession here.

At Chennai SHG meetings, whenever a new PWS comes, I always advised him to talk about TISA to his family members immediately after reaching home and in the next day, talk about it with his close relatives and friends.
Of course no need to talk with everyone. We do not want anybody's sympathy, but we do want their help as our problem a socially related one.

I would suggest you to talk about TISA openly those who are close to you and empty that little bit of the emotional baggage carrying with you. Alternatively, don’t feel sad about not talking about TISA with your close ones.

I wish you all the best and a very happy and stammering control new year 2014.

Anupinder Singh said...

Hi Upasana, you can think like that, if i share about tisa and its activities to peoples in office and in friend's circle, they can help any PWS. Sachin sir and Manimaran sir already gives their replies very beautifully.

Happy New New year to you Also

Upasana Nayak said...

Thanks a lot Sachin sir, Manimaran sir and Anupindar ji for commenting my post....I am very proud to have seniors like you and glad to take advise... I will surely look into it..... :)