The Vicious Pain-Body

All stutterers,whether moderate or severe have experienced a very over-powering feeling right before and after they stutter.Usually,the thoughts in your head before you stutter is like,"Should I speak or keep quiet ???""Man,I am gonna block on my name!!!""I wish I hadn't come here and should have made some excuse !!!"
The usual feelings accompanying these thoughts are of guilt and fear.Then after a stuttering experience,you have thoughts like"I wish I could die".i am a hopeless person,not even managing to say my name"I hate myself".I am so pathetic,i am never gonna make any friends,forget a girl-friend" ans so on and so forth.
The feelings accompanying these thoughts are of shame,guilt,hopelessness etc.
And no matter how hard you try,no matter how much practice you do,you just cant speak fluently when it matters the most.Here is where a PAIN-BODY comes into play.

So whats a pain-body ??? A pain body can be thought of as a parasite that feeds on your negative feelings and just love when you have negative thoughts,as it gets more negative feelings to gobble away,and the more it eats,the stronger it becomes.The more stronger it becomes,the more it is able to take control over your body and mind.There are various pain bodies like FEAR Pain-body,GUILT Pain-body,etc.etc.These pain-bodies love to grow stronger day by day and aim to take control of your body.

Remember,the over-powering feeling you have just before and after a block,these are the times the pain-bodies are the strongest,they make sure you are unable to apply your techniques,so that they can feed on the negative feelings you will have when you block.The primary reason according to me as to why you cant speak well in a feared situation is that in such a situation,the pain body takes you over ,so that it can remain alive.

So what to do now ????? Its a fact that you cant destroy a pain-body,but what you can do is stop its supply of food,by not having negative thoughts about the situation !!!
Next question- How to do that ??? One answer can be to consciously think of positive thoughts,but trust me,it doesnt work,I have tried it myself.Even if you manage to say positive words at that time,but they are at best at the superficial level.So what to do ????

Just two words-Acceptance and Presence.Instead of unsuccessfully fooling yourself that everything is ok,just accept that you stuttered badly,and let all the emotions come up no matter how negative are they,BUT and its very important,DON'T IDENTIFY WITH THESE FEELINGS i.e. to say let these feelings remain feelings,dont start thinking your never ending stupid thoughts of how you are a failure,you wont get a job,etc.etc. and hence feed these feelings,just allow them to come up,accept them for what they are,and let them go.Dont cling on to them.Pass them off as mere feelings.The best way to do this to be in the PRESENT.Just be aware of the present and you will automatically snap out of these thoughts and emotions.Its the best and shortest way.

And when you do this,you deny the pain-body its food,and slowly the pain-body will diminish,and in feared situations,you will slowly start taking over instead of the pain-bodies.But be patient,the pain-body is very strong at this time,it will take a lot deal of acceptance and presence on your part to starve and dissolve it and slowly take over your life.

PS- All this pain-body concept has been taken from Eckhart Tolle's book,I have just modified it for the stuttering community.:-)