May 12, 2015

TRANSFORMATION NEEDS TIME: BUT IT DOES HAPPEN

There was a time when i was quite hesitant to attend SHG because sadly non of the gals attend SHG meetings (L). This time i was more hesitant. Why?? Because, two of my good buddies at SHG, were also not there (felt quite disheartened when they didn't show up). Uff moreover, i was more anxious because i had to give a 30-45 minutes talk in front of 15-20 people. YES !! You read it correctly (30-45 min, OMG!!). This was actually my PhD defence talk, which i will give on Delhi in front of 100-200 people. It was a nightmare, preparing for this talk and failing everyday, comparing myself with other fluent people of my institute. So i decided to give a talk in front of all SHG fellows.

SO THE DAY ARRIVED FINALLY, when i had to present my PhD work in front of SHG fellows. It was a tiring week. I was stressed out and quite lazy (Huh, what am i saying, Sundays are always laziest of all the days). When i arrived at Cubbon park, 10 am sharp, i felt i was less anxious, lesser than i predicted. Desensitization after attending numerous meetings was quite beneficial i guess. OH NO, this was because i could only two people sitting under the hut. As number of people increased, i felt my heart falling apart ("OMG, 30 min talk in front of everyone, how will i speak?").

Anyways, a total of 14 members came, from start till the end (Huh, i hate people not being punctual)- including Me, Dinesh, Rohit Junior, Rohit Senior, Alok, Anshuman, Raman, Avinash, Siddarth, Tapan, Uday, Reuben, Sharath and Jay.

The meeting started with passage reading where we read the book APNA HATH JAGANNATH. Though it was a passage reading, we did learn a lot. We got to know about EFT (not electronic fund transfer, haha!!), Emotional Freedom Technique. This technique involved tapping body areas to as to release emotions, which could help in healing. We also got to know about JO-HARI WINDOW. Next, this was followed by everyone's introduction. It was good to see really old members who rarely attend meetings, like Uday and Jay. Everyone told about interesting stories about their lives. Rohit Junior told about his life story about how he wanted to be a pilot and how he was rejected because of his stammering (YES, YOU GOT IT RIGHT, everyone of us has a same story). Dinesh and Siddharth talked about their first jobs and how they tackled interviewing for jobs and how the time " after joining" was tougher than interviews. ("This was true for me as well, interviews used to be horrible, with whole panel just LAUGHING upon you"). I talked about why i joined SHG, etc. So next came Prepared Speeches. Siddharth talked about Depression. What is depression, symptoms and how to tackle it, what to do and what not to do. Though it was quite a wonderful talk, but i got more DEPRESSED thinking "Aila, next mera number hai". So i started well, with few blocks, while it was going on, i could see sleepy faces of my audience, which made me confident, haha!!!!  So overall, it was a good talk (Me feeling this about myself?? I guess "Suraj purab se nahi, pashchim se uday hua tha", LOL). So now i will tell what made me think GOOD about myself. Day before this meeting, i was in a bad shape, so i called up Dr. Sachin Srivastava (He is founder of TISA, for people who do not know him). He taught me few of the basic principles which every stammerer should follow while preparing for talks. First, maintain eye contact, oh well, he told me that research shows people who keep their eyes open are more likely to stammer less than people who depend on their secondary symptoms (closing keys, tapping feet, etc) for getting rid of their stammering. Second, always smile while speaking (though i didnt haha LOL), this could keep one calm (Calmness is directly proportional to less stutter). Thirdly, take proper pauses, keep a pause in such a way that it does not look odd and gives you enough time to breathe and prepare for next word. And next, keep breathing, focus on your breathing and try not to stop your breathe. Lastly, try to practice techniques such as bouncing and prolongation while practicing for a talk.


No matter how i feel during meetings, the truth is that, i feel more CONFIDENT AND TOTALLY TRANSFORMED after attending many SHG meetings.  And i will continue to attend the meetings as much as i can. And i must say that i do practice EFT since then, and feel incredible. TRY IT!!! I will end this report by saying - Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible."


13 comments:

nishil shetty said...

Nice write up Mansi :) keep posting

nishil shetty said...

Nice write up Mansi :) keep posting

pramod vp said...

Truly wonderful. Enjoyed a post after a long time which is just right from the heart! Gr8 Mansi....

abhishek said...

Very good narration :)

Mansi said...

Thanks Guys

Mohit said...

Keep it up Mansi. Good to see the positive spirits in you. All the very best for your doctorate thesis. Be confident, and it would as good as or even better than how you spoke at the meeting. What I have learnt about stammering is that, its our perception which matters the most rather than anyone else's. So as long as you are feeling confident and good about it. It would turn out to be good.

sachin said...

Thanks for capturing our tele-counseling so well! But dont rest on your oars...KEEP Working HARD! More and more presentations...

Dinesh said...

Good to see a girl attending shg consistently.. And more path breaking to see one blog about it.. Way to go Mansi!! This will do a world of good to women who stutter and to Tisa.. Best wishes!

Mansi said...

THANKS DINESH AND SACHIN SIR..and yes, i do give mock everyday, to someone or the other....thanks a lot

Tapan said...

Good job Mansi. Inch by Inch one will reach his/her goal of fluency with lesser block.

Keep inspiring other girls..

Dhruv Gupta said...

Wonderful to read your post and the build up to your speech..very happy it went well! I like the ending quote about doing what's necessary, then possible then you'll be doing the impossible! Totally agree! :)

Shivaji m said...

Mansi you are inspirartion to all of us.practice makes a man perfect.you are doing that.follow the same path which you are doing and one day you will achieve your goal.

Mansi said...

Thanks Tapan, Dhruv n Shivaji for comments :)