List was even longer but Weather god compelled a few to cancel their journey. I was stuck in Haridwar when bus driver pulled hands and told he’ll not go ahead with such a few passengers and in such a weather. Surely it was raining like never but not more than our Determination. So managed somehow, 15 min. argument with bus driver & a taxi was arranged & I reached Dehradun @9:15 PM.
Then I realised “Yar abi to yaha se vikasNagar jana hai!!” was pretty exhausted but seated in bus singing “and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep”. Asking people, & Google baba finaly reached to Hotel Guru Kripa @11:15 pm where my roomies were waiting me for dinner. Cellphone’s battery meter was saying 2%.... Called dad told I reached, pat comes reply ”Kaha to tha Delhi me ruk k aaram karte, 15 ko PM ki speech sunte aur ghoomte, Par tumhe to DEHRADOON jana tha !!! Accha khana kha k so jana subah baat karte ”. But I knew how important this workshop was for me.
Whole night I was thinking is it good to put such an effort, travelling such a long distance, ruining all plans of friends and ending up with few peoples I never met for an event called communication workshop. But when I woke up in morning, greeted by a boy whom I didn’t meet in night. And I came to know that smiling boy is Straightaway from Gwalior, came @1:30 AM & he was also a newbie like me. We were chatting how he managed to take lift from totally strangers in midnight(as after 9:00 there is no bus from Dehradoon, mine was the last one) and came in time to attend the workshop.
Well i won’t bore you all with my wonderfull experience in workshop as you all can read it on other articles. It was just like a dream environment where you can stammer freely and as much you can. Actually we were having competition that who can stammer more.
Coming to my past, I developed stammer when I was in 3rd or 4th standard. And by 6th I became fulltime stammerer. Bunking schools in oral tests, persuading friends to attend my roll call, Literally avoiding each&every situation where I have to use my speech. Became quite silent person, cause I know if I’ll speak I’ll stammer, and if’ll stammer rest of the world with their arsenal to fire their advices, cures, “Nuskha’s”, and more over their tease. I was just fed up with everyday advices like be confident, don’t get nervous, pull your toungue, stretch it (like it’s a rubber band huhh).
I grew up with advices like”muh me kalimirch rakha karo” & all that crap. By the time i passed +2 I became quite a stubborn. I remember in our farewell I have to come on the dais and just say my name, class-section and optional subject. I still remember i thought I would say it in very catchy manner like “ Hi boys & Girls myself Atul singh from Twelth PCB aur maine vaykalpik Vishay k roop me apni matrabhasha ka chayan kiya hai”…. But after breaking 3 times the line and going back 3-4 students I have to come on stage when I was second last in the row. I somehow managed to be on dais with heart trobbing like a machine gun, handed over the microphone, was stand still for 2-3 seconds when I realised now I have to speak anyhow.
I closed my eyes remembered the phrase and…………..(Nice suspense na??) I just managed to say A…. A…… Aaaa…. Aaatul singh frm 12PCB. Listening the huge laughter of students who were junior to me I came down the dies. But being a Stubborn I smiled ear to ear to everyone, When I heard one new teacher in school who was teaching some subject to junior classes giggling with one of her colleague “Use dekha, uski cassette fas gayi thi stage pe”. I thought of going to her & say her on face that its not good to make fun of anybody’s problem, but I dint...
Well I graduated and now pursuing MCA-last sem and was quite very well developed some tricks to mask &/or package my stammer in day-to-day life and to a some extent ACCEPTED my stammering. I was not active member of TISA by then, just visiting blogs, & surfing net for stammering related articles. I freely talk about my speaking challenge with friends & others and life was going till one day while I have to give presentation in front of 8-10 people, and I ended up in quite a long block. I felt very helpless. I somehow completed that presentation. Everyone looking at you, some new people, some friends, some seniors, You are in a business presentation where your performance not only decides your career but also to your colleagues business and You are stammering like hell. I didn’t sleep whole night.
This one incident took me back to my school days' state. Kept on surfing internet whole night thinking I would have to do something concrete now. Became active in TISA family & one day got news about the workshop. So that was my journey to the workshop but what next?? What happened after I came back from Workshop?
Janne ke liye padhte rahe mera blog ;-)