February 10, 2014

Completed one year in SHG

I was getting very frustrated and searching on net for stammering cure things. And got many videos and document. And some were saying slow speech and some suggested breathing exercises. But at that time I just saw those things very carelessly and not an eye on that. And at the same time I want to cure in a night. I was searching for a job and giving interviews. And I know things but on telephonic rounds I always kicked off. I was in frustration and execrate myself.

Sunday evening at 3.30pm (January 2013). I was surfing net for stammering cure. Suddenly my eye rolled on that “t-tisa.blogspot.com”.  I clicked on that and saw “The Indian stammering association”. At the same time I thought this could be the same stammering cure centers that are making money rather than help.  Because I called 2 centers in Bangalore and they were saying we can cure in 21 days. And when I asked for fees, really I fainted that guy said 15k.

Then I opened the TISA page. I saw “meeting place at madiwala” and below Dinesh mobile no. was there. I thought that I have to call this guy also and ask him what is the procedure to join? Because I am in frustration and not thinking of money any more. I was thinking “whatever fees there I will pay”. I called Dinesh, my hands was shaking. I remember the whole conversation, maybe I forgot some words, conversation with Dinesh on phone below,

Me : haaa haa haa hallo I am ta ta ta talking to Dinesh.
Dinesh(calmly) : Yes
Me : I go go got your no. from stammering blog.
At the same time I though “ what he is thinking about me”.( In stress and I still remember my ears were burning).
Dinesh : okay
Me : what is the po po procedure to join and Fees!!!!!
Dinesh: It’s a self help group there is no procedure and no fees. Just you have to come and join us.
Me :  hmmm okay and I asked  “ when I can join?”.
Dinesh : This coming Saturday 2pm to 5pm at madiwala. When you come there just give me a call.
Me:  Thanks
I was very happy and called my mom. Hey mummy “ maine ek stammering cure ki class dhondi hai aur waha Saturday se jaunga”. My mom was also happy. 

First day at Bangalore SHG :

I went to center around 2.30pm because I was in dilemma I have to go or not what will happen? That’s why I am getting late. And many questions were striking on my mind. After I reached to the center and called Diensh “Hi Dinesh I am Akash, I am here at madiwala”. Before calling to Dinesh I turned face to my house but then I thought “jo hoga dekh lenge”.
I was standing in the hot sun. Abhinav came and said.. “ Hey your Akash right?”. I called him Abhishek at the first time. And we chitchatting and he said “ I am not Abhishek yaar I am Abhinav”. 
I entered in the room. And what I saw ooo man there are too many guys and I got little nervous. Some conversation was going on “marriage topic”. Sairam said “Hey come sit here”. I thought he is the teacher because he asked too many questions to me “where are you from? What u do? , where do u leave?, In which company you are in?”. I was thinking “ he is checking me, how much stammer I have, then he will teach me something or give me some exercises”.  I answered all. End of the day I was thinking “ hey they didn’t teach anything just they were talking”. Then I think there is no need to go yaar. And I didn’t go for at least 3-4 weeks.

Dinesh Inspired me:

I was on gmail and Dinesh pinged me
“Hey Akash why are you not coming to SHG”.
I was thinking what I have to say or just logout from the gmail or didn’t answer him. But another thought came if some buddy doing same thing with me then. How do I feel? Then I answer him truth fully that I was very nervous and in fear.
Then he motivates me and around 15mins we talked and give me some inspiration. And he said “ okay do one thing come for only 3 months regularly and I am sure you will see the changes”. I said “ okay I will come”.
After some weeks he said “ Akash you have to give speech at least one speech”. Then I gave speech on “Food” and I know very well it was not a good speech and I forgot many things. But all the PWS clapped and said your speech is good and you have to give more speeches.
After 2-3 weeks Dinesh told me “Akash do u want to write a report on TISA blog”
 I am thinking how can I write a report.
 Then Dinesh motivates me “ See Akash if you not communicate with you vocal it’s okay but if you’re not write well then it’s a fault”.
I said “my writing skills are not good”. He said “that does why I told you, u have to write a report. You just write and write for 5-6 months automatically it will improve”.
He told his story “When I written first time that was not good but I was writing continuously for 6 months. And now I am able to write good one”.
I would like to thanks him. He really pushes me and motivates me. If he didn’t push, I may not be the part of SHG.

Time went by and 2013 was almost over:
I saw many pws are coming and going but 5-6 pws are always coming to SHG and I can say that those are pillars of Bangalore SHG. I have seen many changes in me and other PWS who are regular.

For new comers:
I wanted to say Dinesh words which he told me at first “Just come for 3 months regularly and you can see the change”. And I am also pretty sure you would see the changes in your own.

Abhinav is the leader:
When he takes the leadership in his eyes I can see the confidence and his skills are improving. He is really doing well and inspires others. I was talking on the gmail. And I asked him
“ Hey Man , I can see many changes in you”.

Abhinav : Ya man it’s the effect of  leadership, you have to take-care of others because every persons need is different. You have to be much knowledgeable.
His words really inspire me and give me motivation. Sudden thought came “ I am the leader of my own”. Because every time I gave my button to others hand. Means by example : I am the fan and some buddy is drive me on and off.
Why should I listen to others and why should I not accept me.
                               1st picture      
                              2nd picture
Thanks to SHG and all pws:   
In 1st picture from the left Pramod,Sairam,Karthik,Lohith,Dinesh,Jitu and Nishil. 
In 2nd picture from the left Karpagavalli, Manoj, Piyush, Pramod, Abhinav, Sairam, Anna, Prabhakaran, Sharath and Dinesh.
I apologize to other Bangalore pws because I don't have their group pictures.

These days I am accepting myself. If I stammer in the shop or in the bus or at office or anywhere. I am not thinking of anything. If some buddy smiles I say inside let it be. I learned one thing accept yourself and things will start changing.

Because god sent you on earth for some purpose. You’re unique and no buddies like you in this planet. So love yourself whatever you’re.   –By Unknown

If there is grammatical mistakes or spelling mistakes sorry for that because English is my second language and I am learning English these days. My next post will be mistake lessJ.

Akash Dixit a PWS


sachin said...

Akash - beautiful testimony. Each one of you is a pillar, not just of TISA, but also of a better tomorrow for everyone..
You may never get to know how many people, across the globe, your words may have inspired - thanks to IT and your courage to write..
Keep sharing..

Dhruv Gupta said...

Incredible Akash. Very inspirational. The power of a community to PWS coming together is incredible.

Abhinav said...

Very frank and awesome testimonial Akash

I can see with every post your writing skills are improving. I still remember your first day in SHG. You and Jitu are examples of 360 degrees shift in personality after joining SHG.

Akash Dixit said...

Thanks Sachin sir, Dhruv and Abhinav

Karpagavalli N said...

Akash I was waiting for this..well portrayed..I can relate to every single point..you inspire us in every possible way..Thanks..Will be waiting for your next post :)