The SHG meeting held on 19.01.2014 at Chennai, were attended by 10 pws. In the beginning of the meeting, each member was asked to give either speech or sing a song with one condition that he must stand in a relaxed posture. This experiment was carried out due to my friend’s suggestions when he attended the last meeting and I have already posted detailed report in this blog. His observation was that all the pws standing postures were incorrect and all were standing in an uneasy and uncomfortable ways.
Then I realized that, apart from one secondary symptom (this varies from pws to pws), every pws is also straining whole of his body and could not able to stand in a relaxed posture. My friend also suggested the following:
1. Do not talk about the past stammering. By doing so, pws were reaffirming again and again to their subconscious mind that they were stammerers and could not speak properly. Thus pws were feeding the above negative thoughts constantly to the subconscious mind , which was already filled up with so much of negative thoughts. Then, removing negative thoughts from subconscious mind is either not possible or will take very long time.
2. He advised not to use any technique; instead, stand in a relaxed manner and speak normally. Whenever the pws stammers only, he use the techniques and move forward.
3. He suggested to treat stammering as simple as possible and not give much important.
4. He has also suggested not to think that stammering is not curable but controllable only upto 99%. Though he convinced after my explanation, still he insisted that pws can conquer stammering and always use the word “CONQUER”, which is more powerful and more energetic word which give more positive impact to all the pws.
As per my friend’s suggestion, here aftrewards I have decided to use the word “Conquer” instead of 99% cure. Let’s conquer our stammering and make this world as ours.
Coming back to the meeting, initially we made fun of each other, brought the atmosphere lighter and asked everyone to speak while standing in a relaxed posture. To everyone surprise, except 2pws, all the other 8 pws were spoken really well. The lesson learned was, whenever pws heart becomes lighter, he can speak reasonably well. We have to find out the ways and means of keeping pws always in a good mood..
Next, we heard an inspiring recorded speech of Mr.Andrew Bell, Scotland. He himself was a pws and invented his own speech therapy, cured himself and conducting courses for other pws. One pws Mr.’B’ attended the above course, controlled almost 99% of his stammering and is conducting courses at Coimbatore . I had attended the course in the year 2001. That time Mr.’B’ had given a audio CD of Mr.Andrew Bell’s speech to every pws.
The speech is about 30min duration. In the 1st 15 min, it is about speech therapy. The rest 15 min is a motivational speech related to stammering which will be very useful to every pws. I don’t want to go into details on speech therapy part. The following is the text (Motivation speech part) of Mr.Andrew bell’s speech. I would like to thank Mr.Ganeh, a member of Chennai chapter who converted the voice speech into text format.
MR.ANDREW BELL’S SPEECH
Your importance in life must be your new voice after practicing the technique. By speaking more calmly, you assert your authority over other people. Also by speaking more calmly, we set standards speech wise in every situation in which we enters.
You must be the number one person in your life. Look up to yourself and think more of yourself as a person. No longer you look up to other person with envy at what they had achieved and can do. If we admire other people as to what they can achieve, we begin to think of our own shortcomings and then become bitter and twisted in our outlook upon life and we diminish our own self importance value. Only when you have become the number one person in your world, you have the ability to go out into life and put other people first and foremost.
Feeling so secure within yourself, you have no reason to try to prove yourself to other people. But have the ability to be so big hearted that you can draw other people out of their thoughts by asking them to speak about themselves, by telling them how well we look, by praising them and by so doing, you make other people feel good and this in turn, kicks back on you feel good and even more confident and even more secure as a person.
We must become part of life not stand on the sideline then watch life happens. Try to seek out situations in which you can use your new kind of speech and help other people to feel good and to feel comfortable. This will make you feel more secure and more confident as a person by simply being involved in life.
Always have good self-presentation, always look confident, look at it you are a person to be reckoned with no matter how nervous you may feel, don’t let it show. Always stand tall, sit tall and walk or act with smooth physical movements. Do everything with style, act with style, speak with expressive style. By letting it be seen from how you conduct yourself in life that you do think something of yourself. You take a pride in yourself as a person, then you get respect from other people. But remember you must firstly show that you respect yourself as a person before other people will give you the level of respect that you gave to yourself.
Be prepared to speak in your own individual manner as you are not inconveniencing anyone at all and do not be tempted to copy the old mode of speech of your own, just as we all walk differently, different mannerisms in our walk; we all talk differently, difference mannerisms in our talking; so we not to be afraid to be an individual. We are all unique. We are individual human beings with unique way of living, of thinking and of acting. So do not be afraid to stand out in the crowd and do your things speech wise. Openly use the technique. Don’t hide the fact that you are expressing your speech.
Prior to the course, you had no self-expression in your communicative skill which they were very limited. Now be prepared to openly express your speech by using full technique until the technique becomes just your way of speaking and you no longer realize you are using technique, but you do realize and are aware that you are expressing yourself as a person in speech to the others. Never let other people back speech at all. Do not be influenced by them. Just let them go completely over your head.
If a question is jumped upon quickly, use a filler word in order to gather thoughts together. For example, a question is put to you very rapidly, you can say the word “Right” or “Let me think now” and that gives you time to maneuver your thought and begin to say what you wish to say.
You must have full belief that if you express your speech with your head movements and use this new relax quite voice. Believe in your head movements and your ability to express the speech, then you will believe in yourself as a person and your ability to get yourself over to the other people in life in an efficient, effective and influential manner so that you become an influential person in life. You become your own person in your life.
This is Andrew Bell, Thank You.
Lastly Gnanasekaran gave a very good lecture on “fear of rejection” and “Fear of criticism” which was really useful one.
Each meeting we are learning new things. Learning never ends.
That’s all from Chennai chapter.