From Umesh Rawat

Hello my TISA friends. This is Umesh Rawat here and I am posting in
this blog after a long time. I am a post graduate in computer
engineering. Last year in the same month of September, I got a job of
teaching in a college. Despite being a pws, it was a tough job for me
but I can’t help myself because I always like the profession of
teaching and after joining TISA my dreams got the wings.
As I get to
know many people are doing teaching even with a stammering tongue,
this really is a motivating boost for me always. So why can’t I? But
the job which I got in college last year very easily also had gone too
easily out of my hand. Although reason behind it was some college
politics issue more than my dis-fluency speech. but this thing really
shattered my all time dream to become a teacher. After this I became
depressed for few months, and start doubting on my abilities to choose
this profession as my career or not? Either I will be able to do this
or not? Some people have achieved it but perhaps it is not for me.
Then I thought “Let’s leave it now, try for the Industries. You are
not made for teaching.” After this, for few months I gave lot of
interviews for corporate companies but my heart never was with me. It
was like escaping from your dream, your life!!  In this phase, I felt
very ups and downs. Nothing seems cleared. Everyone was asking
questions and I didn’t have any answers. Over thinking about future
and stammering also worsen my speech. Finally I tried one more time
for teaching because one sentence always motivates me “Do the work
which you like and you will never have to work.” I filled the form for
guest teacher post of computer faculties in govt. schools of haryana.
Although it was not a genuine line for me but no matter it’s also a
job of teaching which I can do even if I told to do it for without
pay. I cleared exam with 26th over all rank and also cleared the
interview but I still doubted myself because I was not feeling
comfortable with my speech as before and this thing took away all my
zest. I attended one more TISA workshop held at Herburtpur in month of
June in hope that I will get some confidence back before the joining.
Workshop went fine as always it is. But now I wanted to work on some
fluency shaping technique which could reduce the outer struggle and
give some confidence which I needed badly. I met few of my old friends
like Gaurav, who is now in much control of speaking. I took some
advice from dr. Sachin and Gaurav about how to work on this fluency
shaping technique. This worked like wonder at that time; I can speak
everything without any hard block by using this rhythmic slow
technique. After coming back home, I continuously practiced this
technique and always felt confidence by expressing full heart in
fluent speech.
Last week I joined my school teaching, now school provides me even a
bigger platform to experiment with my speech and techniques. I am
feeling much comfortable and in control during all class lectures
perhaps here I am in more dominating position. I hope this will become
a ladder to reach where I deserve to be. Its like a dream come true
that I am expressing my knowledge to others. Now I could notice myself
what I do wrong during a block? Where do I increase my rate of speech?
I have learned that slow speaking gives comfort to both listening and
speaking parties. And yes finally I become a Teacher who can easily
handle a group of people. This doesn’t mean that my stammering has
disappeared but by applying right way of technique and positive
attitude, speaking and communication can be made comfortable. Feeling
content and blessed!! Thanks to TISA and my friends who were always
with me in my hard time.