TISA....the HOPE

Hello Everyone,

It has been a month or so that I came to know about TISA.

It was a somewhat usual moment of hopelessness that I was fighting with. Yes an almost regular fight it was..!!

I was hopeless about my life, my future, my career, let alone my stammering.

I started browsing all over this glossy LCD screen in search of HOPE.

But hope that day spelt a bit different than usual.
TISA it was.



Article after article, I went through each one of them. With each passing piece of experience that I read, I could find a bit of me explained, a bit of me explored, a bit of me accepted. I felt happy.
When I read articles that described what school is for a PWS, I had moist eyes. School is the toughest battleground for a PWS, as it was for me. You have to stand for a thing that is happening to you. You have make others accept it, when the ground reality is that you yourself are totally unaware of this alien speech.
I am one of those people who find it better to cut off from conversations that have the words school, friends, enjoyment and the likes. I have nothing happy to share about them since all I remember about those utterly stressful days is the fear--- that I could be made to read the text book in the next class, the embarrassment--- that not answering the roll call could cause me, the thirst for water that I will have to bear since it would impossible for me to seek permission from the teacher to drink water, and a lot others that almost all of you are aware of.

School was nothing but BAD.

College was the next happening.

Roll calls again continued to haunt me. It was rather worse, for now in a day I had to face at least 5-6 of them.
But something unexpected happened during this phase.

A series of incidences instilled confidence in me.

It was not magic and I didn't stop stammering.

I understood my ciphered language; I understood myself and accepted myself whole-heartedly.

I began to love myself, and that, I think, was the key force that ruptured the cocoon and caused my emergence as an individual.

During that particular point of time Kaminey released.

It was this movie that forced me to think about myself and about the fact that I stammer. Today I don’t even clearly remember the storyline, but the effect that the movie caused, is clear as crystal.

I cried day in day out. I wanted to be understood, but I didn't have the tool to do so.

With almost nothing at my disposal...I began writing.

I wrote and wrote and wrote all that I had in mind. One of my friends saw me doing this and wished to know what caused me so much grief. I made her read all that. She was touched and motivated me to keep going.

It was that day, that I befriended writing and promised to keep writing my heart out till eternity.

After college I faced many interviews that I failed at, and this made me weak, yet again. But I managed to recollect after each rejection that I faced and I will continue to until I reach the pinnacle of success.

For it has rightly been said

 "What doesn't kills you, makes you stronger"

Stammering might have been a disadvantage at some point of time, but it is stammering that has made me the person that I am, and I am proud to be myself.

And yes People, I feel proud to be one amongst the rare, approximately 1%, of the world population who stammer. I feel special, not underprivileged. On the contrary, at times I find, being a strammerer "something cool" and worth flaunting ;)

Remember the King who stammered (Ref. Oscar winning movie- "The King's Speech"), Rowan Atkinson (Ref. Mr. Bean), Hrithik Roshan, and other “n” number of people who stammered, all of them went beyond the self and the socially imposed inhibition. With all the dedication and efforts they were able to shed the burden that came along with all the inhibitions and stammering, carved a niche for themselves, which brought them success, respect and most of all satisfaction. If they could do it, so can I, so can you.

I still worry about the fact that I stammer, it is still there and will remain so...but I am happy about the fact that I am a person confident enough to face myself and stammering.

TISA is that one special place where I don't feel the need to make people understand. I feel accepted. Now that I have found TISA....aka HOPE....I realize that had I been associated with it a few years back...I would have had a different life with respect to a certain things. But as they say, better late than never, I feel blessed to be here.
TISA motivates me to find the school girl back, who lost the joy of her school days for the lack of awareness.
TISA inspires me to appreciate the person that I am.

Happy to be here and share this incomplete story, for the pinnacle still waits to be annexed.