March 25, 2013

Trying to WIN over stammering...Is an EGOTRIP?

Last 3 months have been uncomfortable for me, as i have considered my stammering to be increased.

Lets talk about the things i have done to handle this situation than how it happened.

I have tried to voluntary using all those feared words, thinking that facing the fear head on will let me WIN over the fear.

But, most of the times, i was knocked out quite comprehensively.The more i was finding my techniques to be not working on those feared words and in those feared situations, the more madly i was trying to use them again and again and again,

What the hell!!!

The more i was stammering, the more i was trying.........the more the people were laughing, the more i was using those feared words knowingly in front of them........just like a gladiator.

But, it is a real life story that a movie, where the hero always wins.....So i was beaten brutally with woulds of shame,guilt,frustration,self de-motivation all over me.

Then, i talk to a recovered stammerer, whom i admires.Also, i listened to a spiritual guru whom i admires.

The message from both of them quite coinciding actually.

Earlier i was running away from those feared words and, i am voluntarily going into those things with an aim of WINNING over them.Both of these practices are extremes..........Earlier I was avoiding them to hide stammering to satisfy my ego and now I was intentionally targeting them hoping that I will WIN over stammering to satisfy my ego.

So, I have entrapped myself in an EGOTRIP which is hindering myself from being peaceful.

If I will be taking stammering as an enemy to win over.....there is very less possibility that i will be successful as it in not an enemy,rather it is my intrinsic nature and no one can fight with self.Such a fight will always weaken him.

But, if i can have peace with stammering, accepting that 'yes' , sometimes it will happen that i will get myself in a block and i may take a long time to speak and it is OK......then there is a high possibility that it may stop irritating me.


sachin said...

I think you are on the right track..
We are often driven by subconscious desires. We may be doing "right" things but for "wrong" reasons. It is good to stop sometime and question yourself and your motives.
Learn from every day events and carry on..
I am sure you are helping others too by sharing your struggles and your wisdom.
TISA thanks you!

lalit said...

nice seems like u gaining wisdom day by day. experiencing eogic mind i an achievement n u should thanks stammering for this :-)

Dinesh said...

Thanks Ashish for sharing.. your articles are always insightful!

Blue Kite Dreamz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joy deep Majumder said...

Ashsih are on the right track dude..

Their is no point making enemies with a trait which is an intrinsic part of ones self..

Lets call it peace with our speech error..and accept it as an interesting part of our personality ..

Normal is boring :)

Manimaran said...

Face the fear. This is the only mantra for all PWS after learning what is stammering and after learning some techniques to control it. No other short cut or easy way to over come it.

Anonymous said...

Hi Ashish,

I find better results with techniques if I do not use them to avoid or overcome stammering to speak fluently. They work better for me if I use them to accept, welcome the block with a determination that I will modify it to reduce the struggle and communicate fearlessly. I think it helps by reducing the anxiety in the moment I anticipate a block.