This confusion is further spiced up by labels which make perfect sense to user but little objective understanding to the listener. For a long time, I thought that I am a "mild stammerer". Then, I read about "covert stammering", "Internalized stammering", "Synonym stammerer" etc.
Still later, I read Sheehan: His iceberg made sense in a very personal way. Stammering is not what we do with our mouth. 90% of the problem, core of the problem is how we FEEL about communication in general- and our speech in particular. All the inner emotions ("Pain body" a la Eckharte) of guilt, shame, fear, loneliness, excitement etc. really constitute what goes under the name of stammering.
That being the case, how do we categorise people's stammering difficulties? Someone may speak fine in most situations but may have HUGE emotional baggage related to communication, relationships, commitment etc. May be quite disabled socially. Should we call it "mild stammering"?
Another pws may have difficulty on every second word but is totally "un-ashamed" and goes ahead and speaks at every opportunity: should we label him Severe stutterer? I am sure you begin to see what I am driving at.
Another problem: when we say, I am a mild stammerer, we are also implying: I dont need to address the issue now; it can wait. Let me deal with other "important" things in life first. Also, whenever I do work on it, I dont need to work that hard, that long, that consistently..
Can you see the tricks our mind plays on us? Why? simply because mind wants no change. Change is uncomfortable. Status quo is familiar and comfortable. An entire life can be spent this way. I spent forty years like this! And I thought I was a very intelligent person!
So, friends, wake up- take charge and deal with whatever is bothering you- stammering or whatever. Here and now.
PS: How would you react if a court gave verdict like this: He is guilty of mild murder. Or Vigilance bureau said- Mr XYZ is guilty of mild bribery, extortion and embezzlement..
5 comments:
@Sachin ji---This article made me take new steps in my life from today.
Thanks for this :)
Regards.
Another masterpiece.
Half the problem is solved when we become aware of the problem and its subtle nature.
Sir Ji, your article does expose the problem very well!
Its surprising to see how our attitudes and perspectives change over our lives and we are able to see "new" (new because previously we were not able to see them) things/patterns/behaviors. Sir, I think there is another category of pws coming up due to internet. A category which is living their life in the familiar status quo but feels that they are making progress by having a virtual life of liking facebook posts, replying to every message in forums etc. Nothing wrong with all this but some of the young people are doing ONLY that. They ask for help on internet and are more than happy to discuss and debate but the moment you tell them that you live very close to their house and give them phone number to call, they disappear :-) Stuttering does seems like a very unique disability!
Thanks JP, Dinesh & Rajesh.
Yes, if Mind is a mystery, stammering is the guide book, to help us unravel this mystery..
If you study your stammering- you learn a lot about your mind and its functioning..
Sachin sir! You are a guru... your wordings and teachings always inspire me.. thanks a lot for the article. it has given me a new direction.
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