May 25, 2012

Fear Changed To FEARED

There is a girl.
She was excellent in her school life, was average in college and was just good in her engineering. Her performance and passion was decreasing day by day from school to engineering. The girl always thought that what is the reason behind this declination but she never got any conclusion.
That girl is a PWS (people who stammer).  From childhood she has this. So it wasn’t any new thing to her. In her native place all her surrounding knows the girl as PWS, so nobody ever asked or told anything about this. So the girl never concerned about this, and she was just so busy in schooling.
When the girl left her native place for college, she got a new surrounding, so she had to introduced herself in every situation. At that time her consciousness about her stuttering came for the first time. From that time she was always thinking about stuttering. And when she joined engineering, she got to know that she had to b fluent in every situation. And in this stage she had some hell like experience in seminar and presentation. So she was just stucked in her stuttering all the time irrespective of her other talent.
During final year of engineering she joined a speech therapy for 6 months. But end of the day she found relapsing of stuttering. She just thought that her life had no color remaining at all.
The main thing was she never talked about her stuttering to anyone, neither to her family nor any close friends. Even time came when the girl was just ready to leave all the relationship.
Then one day the fed up girl got to know about TISA (the Indian stammering association) and SHG (self help group) from Google. The girl shocked that how a group of stammerer is called as SHG and what exactly help they can do for each other!! Just for a try she attended the SHG meeting in Bangalore without telling any of her family or friends. Suddenly the girl felt differently as she saw all PWS are just happy and cheerful and all are just managing their stammering so well with out a ray of disbelief.
Returning home she analyzed that what an experience that was!! Then she got the proper conclusion that she “FEARS”. Yes she fears of everything. She fears of getting stucked. She fears of criticism, she fears of failure, she fears of rejection, she fears of answering, she fears of cross question, she fears of NO, she fears of disagree, she fears of argument, she fears of asking, she fears of initiation, she fears of new  environment, she fears of everything coming towards her .... So she just stopped herself from doing anything. For this thinking and fear of everything   she was having extra pain in her mind. And her performance was low.
Now when she got her conclusion about her decline, so she can properly overcome this fear.
The first step she took that, now days she doesn’t feel bad that she is a stammerer and she doesn’t fear of getting stucked.
So for all PWS, mainly girls, please don’t feel bad about stammering. If you feel bad then you can do nothing but if you feel good at least your level of fear can b decrease which give you a relaxness in your mind while you speak. And if any PWS get a chance to attain SHG then don’t hesitate at all. It’s like a pleasure to meet with other PWS and know about their life. Coz everyone’s life is special in a very unique way..
And now come to that girl’s name,, its none other than me... now I can say that I don’t feel of any embarrassment of my stammering.
As our Bangalore Co-ordinator of SHG always says “FIRST STEP IS THE MOST DIFFICULT ONE, REST OF THE JOURNY IS QUITE EASY. TAKE THE FIRST STEP”.. Thanks to him. This is the line which inspires me always.
For any query, mail me on:


J P Sunda said...

Upasana, I must say that you are a very brave girl. Not only did you attend the SHG meet but also shared your experiences here on blog. Both the things can be very intimidating at the start. Although in India, there are few girls who come out in open about their stuttering due to some obvious social reasons, there are many more around the globe who are writing about their experiences regularly and not just helping others but helping their own selves. Once such blog is . Here you will find many podcasts of women who stutter. Do check it out. I am sure you can be the same role model to many girls in India.

Satyendra said...

Hey Upasana- thank you so much for this sharing. TISA welcomes you as a family member. In our society, women who stutter, suffer much more than men who stutter. Reason is obvious: our society and values are very patriarchal. It is double jeopardy. Anyway, you have broken the chains of silence. Now dont look back. Keep marching.
BTW- would you like to head TISA's women's wing and counsel young girls out there who stammer, on phone, emails?

Upasana Nayak said...

@JP, thank you for the link about women who stutter. i ll go through this site for sure..:)

Upasana Nayak said...

My all changes are due to SHG only. I really thankful to SHG. And you are telling right that women who stutter suffers a lot.. even i was one of them. but now my suffering was PAST.
And about your proposal about heading TISA's women's wing and counsel, i ll be really grateful if i can do any such things. but yes for right now i am happy to answering any mail or call at anytime....

Jitender Gupta said...

Thanx upasna for sharing a wonderful & motivational experience.

kishore said...

Good to see that now Indian girls/women who stammer are sharing their stories without any shame or fear.i have seen that in countries like holland, ireland and UK where i am associated with a stammering program the strength of girls or women are same as the boys or men. Interestingly sometimes girls are more in number(despite the problem dominated in men).

GORAV DATTA - I am Learning said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GORAV DATTA - I am Learning said...

welcome! -- i know how difficult it would have been for you to share your experiences . Definitely you Are brave

Er. Umesh said...

Welcome Upasana. Nice to see a female pws in TISA blog. Your participation will really help the other pws girls to come out from their cell. BTW you writing style is very good, seems like you have fond of reading novels.

vishal gupta said...

really nice upasana... it give the courage to all stammer even to those who believe that their life is in darkness so all d best... !!!!!