Acceptance is the first step in recovery path and we all know its importance & benefits , we have learned many way to make our acceptance stronger like blogging,talking about stammering,not trying to hide it,bouncing etc etc and they really helps.
I think acceptance has many characteristics like -
Path of acceptance is not unidirectional,we can understand this with an example suppose we are using bouncing & talking about stammering in a particular group, means we are increasing our acceptance level but if one day our bouncing become uncontrolled and we stammer a lot in that same group then their is much chance that we feel bad about this which decrease our acceptance level.
we all need some meter or instrument which can check our acceptance level ....we can measure our level of acceptance by intensity of pain we are feeling.
100% pain by dis fluency means 0% acceptance.....
0% pain by dis fluency means 100% acceptance...
60% pain by dis fluency means 40% acceptance (plz don't ask how to measure pain he he..........)
we all feel different degree of pain in different situation like very low pain if we stammer in front of close friend and feel greater pain if we stammer in front of whole class or office so acceptance is not universal thing it varies from suitation to suitation
Acceptance is the hardest part of recovery process & their is negative marking too:-)
so need to device some mechanism to tackle situation which can downgrade our acceptance
I think Vipassana, Brahmavidya & power of now (book by eckhart tolle) can help in this ...
whenever one feel pain while stammering or after stammering he should try to remain present in moment, To be in present moment one can do many thing like give its full attention to towards its breathing(just see nature of his breath, fast or slow etc ) or complete focus to surrounding (colour of wall, colour of any object in that surrounding ).
In brief one have not to dwell in past like how badly i stammer a few second back .....or not in future like how i say next line which have 3 feared word , Just remain in present particular second watch any real thing (this requires little practice after using this in 2 or 3 suitation one can learn this) ,above technice to remain present in present moment is well explained in "power of now"
so accept present moment for better acceptance.
and Acceptance is a long process it may take months to accept stammering fully...
2 comments:
Great write up!
When we practice our acceptance by talking about stammering or by bouncing in a group- we are also giving a chance to others to improve THEIR ACCEPTANCE of others, in this case, of stammerers like us.
So, yes, acceptance is not unidirectional. It is a two way street. We are helping others too, to become liberal and "educated" about human diversity. In fact, some people have actually thanked me for doing exactly that..
Thanks Lalit ji,you remove the little confusion from my mind, that's I feeling these days. why some time we feel Pain due to stammering and sometime not even after acceptance. it is due to partial acceptance. You got a nice point!
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