how to desensitize yourself ??

I am feeling quite open about stammering now. and i am talking very well with other pws by using bouncing and other techniques . Believe me, there is no inner struggle when I talking to my pws friends. They all says that you have become a non-stutter now. I feel very happy when they said so. When i talk to anyone on the phone then i looked myself in mirror( i have brought a little large mirror only for this purpose). so that i can see where the pressure and the stammering lies on my face. so when i talk to my pws friends, i talk very well and use bouncing very gently. but when i talk to non-pws and watched my self in mirror, find that there is great unexpected facial expression and blocks appears on the face. still i use little bouncing with the non-pws , but sometime i cant use bouncing even if i wanted to use it. i stuck on the first sound of the word that i use to bounce. lets see what funny happen with me today:
Today i was talking to my old friend on the phone. "hello" is horrible word for me. but now i use this word with bouncing like "h h hello" and seems it is no more horrible with bouncing. i use bounce on this word with my friend and conversation going very well. in the middle, i have to say "please hold one minute" after few minutes, i came back and again have to say "hello i am here" but this time , i cant speak this word out. even i try to bounce on this word but nothing work. after few silent minutes on the phone, i end the call. I thought what happens to me. i was more feared now. But i again make call to this friend and complete the conversation somehow. this thing makes my mood off. i know this is not a good thing for a stammerer. we must be desensitize our self to such relapses, but i want to know how to became desensitize if such relapses occurs. All comments are welcomed .