September 14, 2009

Two days in Delhi

12th Sept: Nitin picked us (JP and self) up and then we went to visit an NGO close to Sarai Kale Khan bus stand. Deepak too joined us. The purpose was to negotiate for an indoor meeting place. We have drawn an affirmative. This would be a convenient location for many Delhiites. People coming from outside, could also reach it easily, if they arrive at Nizamuddin. This should take off by October 09, God willing.

Later, we had a nice lunch at Nitin's and then watched Unspeakable. Kshitiz arrived. An interesting discussion began: what does acceptance really mean? Intellectual acknowledgement? at emotional plain? at gut level? And if we truly accept, why or how would we work on our communication? Later, we practised some bouncing. Returning to Karol bag, in metro, we three (JP, Kshitiz and self) happily bounced on names of various destination. A middle aged man sitting across looked on, with interest and, I guess, something bordering on admiration. We had a good time. I wish I could bring our Herbertpur SHG for a ride in Metro combined with practice session!

13th Sept: By 11 am both JP and self arrived at Akshardham temple. Others too arrived- Sikander, Nitin, Deepak, Mamta, Kishore and Nishant. We made pairs through random slips. Everyone had to find their partners, learn about them in 5 minutes and then introduce them to the group. Extreme importance of active listening came up once again.

After introduction, we used a reverse story telling game as a warm up exercise and to practice bouncing. After some fun, when everyone felt ready for "stuttering interviews", we went out in pairs and interviewed some visitors who were waiting in the que to enter the inner precinct of the temple. Most interviews went well. Some people were possibly under some kind of stress and were not very enthusiastic. We thanked them and moved on to the next potential audience. Mostly, the questions were: What do you know about stammering? Do you personally know some one who stammers? Do you feel any stress / problem when you talk to those who stutter? How are you feeling now, as I am talking to you and stuttering? What advice would you like to give?

Lastly, we asked them if they knew what they were supposed to do while talking to someone who stammers. This last question gave us plenty of chance to educate them- quite a few of them, in fact. Cross gender interviews were also done. After the interviews, there was a de-briefing session.Lastly, we did an impromptu nukkad natak (street play)- a SHG meeting where members have different concern and values. Then we dispersed.

Later, I learned that K did not stop his interviewing adventures, even after leaving Akshar Dham. He spoke to couple of more people in the bus while returning home. Ah, that is the power of "desensitisation"!

We waited another hour or so, waiting for Anuj, who was returning from Karnal that morning. Finally he arrived and we talked and talked till we decided, it was 'Chhole and Rice' time. Three of us traveled to CP (in metro, we again made a regular nuisance of ourselves- JP and A shouting - I stammer! ) where A joined us at "Hadippa" board! A was having a lot of difficulties. Obviously, after his brief stint at Samagra eight months ago, he had ran into difficulties. He wants to come out of his "denial" but his family (especially father) thinks he is fine, since he talks fine at home. The father has no inkling of the difficulties A is facing in interviews.

Anyway, we three worked with him in the CP park, conducted a mock interview, with at least 20 feet gap between us, forcing A to shout his answers above the traffic noise. He seemed more cheerful as we left. A and A will make nice sparring partners and I have set them up with each other. If they could meet twice a week and practice as suggested, both will benefit.

AJ came all the way with us to station. JP and AJ discussed many issues, as they are in a similar stage of life. I know, many main stream doctors will raise their eyebrows- but sharing and discussing with someone who is passing through the same experiences can be quite therapeutic. In this sense IT has harmed people: we are spending more time online- and less time talking to buddies, family, neighbours, pets, passer by, strangers. May be we need a java script even for that! (not joking)

2 comments:

kishore said...

I hv stared my journey afresh, Now every time when am outside i search for my pray Earnestly with a bit of intimidation. i keep on thinking who would be the appropriate person with whom i shall interact, once i start talking no matter how worse i am struggling i do not stop in between, let the emotions pour out.

I know its because of my support group having esteemed members in likes of Sachin Sir, Nitin Sir, J.P sir, and many more(..its hard to mention, will fade their importance if mentioned in cluster)that i am opening up.

today dated 15-09-2009 while coming to office i interacted with two strangers and i feel relieved while talking, every time i feel intimidated but i know with sheer practice this feeling do not dogged with me for any longer. it would get dilute with time. i am determined toward my goal, and its approaching near and near.

J P Sunda said...

Great going! As you have observed that the same life with same speech is totaly different, once we accept our stammer and trust our thoughts & are ready to say what we want to say without any second thoughts, even though we know we will stammer. Thats all each of us need! and nothing more to change our life. Also we should work on our speech (fluency shaping and stuttering modification) side by side.