Last Saturday, I was talking to a parent.One of the sentences he used, got stuck in my head: "He (=son) is at a stage where he thinks, 'I know better than my father'.."
May be son is wrong to think that. May be father too is wrong to think that! Stammering IS such a problem. It baffles everyone. So here is some advice from an EXPERT for parents. He has really done commendable and extensive work with children. Link
In last 8-9 years, I have browsed and read all kind of writings on stammering- yes, even articles titled "Cure your stammering under 7 minutes", even Nathaniel Bogue- but two writers have fascinated me no end. It is not what they said or wrote- but the kind of life they had lived- which continues to fascinate me. Because in the long run, it is LIFE which communicates with life- not flowery fluent words, impressing intellect. These are: Van Riper and Joseph Sheehan.
Of course their words too are no less inspiring than their lives. Just sample this, from Sheehan's biography (yes, both of them are no more in body):
Sheehan developed his own theory of stuttering, the Approach-Avoidance Conflict
Theory. It is unique in its conception that avoidance of stuttering or the
suppression of stuttering is a major factor contributing to its persistence. He also
developed a therapy based on his theory that stresses openness, admitting one's role
as a stutterer, being willing to speak in all kinds of situations, and learning to
stutter in a new and easy way without holding back and without struggle. Fluency
comes as a by-product of changing both attitudes and habits.(the original article)
If you want to learn more about his Conflict Theory and Avoidance-Reduction Therapy, check this page. I find him very relevant even today. And if you want to know something about Van Riper, who is considered Father of the modern speech therapy for stammering, check this page. They were pioneers in every sense of the word. Amazing!
"I decided to leave my comfort zone and give my first TV interview."
Gustafson decided to speak to the Golf Channel. The editing team
worked for two hours on the 70 minutes it took her to answer nine
questions. The result? A three-and-a-half-minute interview.
Are people with "regular" disability better adjusted in their environment, with their inner self as compared to average pws? Pawan and I went and particiapted in the disability rally in Vikasnagar and interacted with many people to understand that question- as well as, understand what do people think about stammering? While Pawan handled the camera, I interviewed people .. On the whole a nice afternoon, spent with a vibrant group of people. While others learned about stammering from us, we learned a LOT about the big big world out there of people facing other issues, daily and triumphantly. We met parents, special educators, students etc. Our sincere thanks to Anugrah Team and Mr Vinai Saini for letting us be a part of this great meeting, wonderful gathering. Here is the video.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1DwYNkpYas
The Delhi Workshop generated some questions; we are trying to answer them here, so that all the readers benefit.
Is stammering neurological or psychological? What percentage of it is neurological?....... Rahul Das
stammering समय के साथ-२ इतनी variable क्यों होती है?...... Balveer Singh
Many
PWS say that they stammer only on some particular letters/vowels, is it
true or its just another illusion/mystery stammering?....Pramendra
1. Stammering is both neurological AND psychological, like many other medical problems. In the beginning, during childhood, it was predominantly a neurological phenomena: we were saying something and suddenly the impulse for the next word failed to come from inside the brain- and we stopped. In that pause, we were not unduly stressed, frightened or ashamed. As we grew up, we learned all these emotions, all these psychological reactions and developed an elaborate pattern: Shy, not-assertive, apologetic, speak softly, avoiding risks etc. etc. Dr Sheehan gave the example of Ice-berg to highlight this: 90% of our problems are hidden, un-observable. Only ten percent is visible/ audible (as when we stutter). Few therapists succeed at dealing with the 90%.. Other diseases too, like Peptic ulcer have a physical component (wound caused in stomach due to acid) as well as a psychological component, which could be both a cause as well as effect of the ulcer: You worry too much- so you produce more acid in stomach, which causes stomach ulcer. Also, because of ulcer, you become a chronically anxious person ("I may bleed to death"), short tempered, forgetful etc.
2. Why stammering is so variable? Every disease is the outcome of interactions between our defense mechanism and an external factor (one or more, -sometime internal too). This interaction is influenced by many factors and this is why predicting outcome is very very very difficult, especially in stammering. A good example of such complex interactions would be weather forecasting: with all the latest super-computers, can we predict when exactly Monsoons will hit Delhi? Same way- we can only say that I am likely to stammer during interviews- but I may not. And this only adds difficulties for us and others around us: they are left INTRIGUED and we remain CLUELESS!
The factors in the brain which influence, when we will stammer and how strongly- are many: to name a few- neurotransmitters (brain chemicals), electrical activity in other neural pathways, memory, emotional states, learning, inner expectations, hearing our own voice and integrating it into forward movement of speech etc. To get a glimpse of this complexity please check this very good blog: http://stutter-mind-body.blogspot.com/ (If you think it is complicated, come and listen to my simplified presentation on causes of stammering in Bhubaneshwar!)
To give another example: we all know that windows (till vista) was very bad at memory management and was very slow if it had some big programs (like anti-virus) running in background. We may also know that it sometime hanged when you started too many programs. Now, if we ask an IT expert to tell us when exactly this machine is going to hang? on starting how many programs? after how many minutes? etc. etc. , it will be nearly impossible for him to answer. In the same way, human SPEECH is a very complex system, and has still not been fully understood.
3. In our current understanding: we learn to associate certain sounds with our inner difficulties. So, the real culprit is inside- our learned behavior based on fear - not the WORD itself. If that was the case, we should not be able to say the same word when we are alone or in other non-stressful context. These word fears are like PHOBIAS- an internal phenomena. I once had great difficulty saying "Yes Sir" during roll call. I changed it to "Present, sir" - and then promptly began having difficulty with "Present, Sir" too! So, who is the culprit, word or my perception of threat? Another example could be that of a man with addiction to alcohol. He may say: I dont care for drinks- but my boss today blasted me today for no reason; next day, he may say: It was my friend's birthday- I was very happy so..etc. Is his problem rooted in external circumstances? Of course, not. The problem is not outside, but we tend to externalise things in this way without realizing and wait for solutions too, to come from outside.
Implications for therapy is big: because words by themselves have nothing to do with stammering, you CAN desensitize yourself to these words by bouncing or prolonging them with strangers on phone or in person. Yes, you will need an experienced pws to coach you.
It highlights the role of recovering stammerers in helping others, keeping in touch with self help groups and coaches, accepting the need for long term management (rather than one time cure) and celebrating our "differences".
As a health professional, teaching Pagemaker 7 to a group of ten young students in a community college, I had to use all the ingenuity and caution. Pagemaker could be compared to a tropical forest full of options, commands, work-arounds, short-cuts and whatnot. So, number one task for me was to find out well used trails passing through this forest; walking them, getting used to the changing landscape and becoming familiar with the destinations of these intermingling trails..
I was born in an era much after Gandhi and Independence. I read of him only in history books. Recent events gave me a glimpse of what it must have been like when Gandhi walked this land in flesh.. what it must have been like when the nation responded to his call for peaceful non-cooperation against a regime which ruled three quarters of the world..
Sometimes, what is very close to us, becomes 'invisible' to us- like our face, our eyes. You need another's help to take a speck from your eyes. Same way, for many of us, even though stammering has been very close to us- and yet, it has been so mysterious. We dont really understand much about it. Therefore, using analogies or a similar phenomena sometime works. Addiction is one such health issue. For a long time, society beleived that it is a habit, a bad habit- or it is some kind of mental quirk ("Only people with low self esteem or poor will power indulge in addictions"). Because of such assumptions, there was (still is) strong stigma and shame involved. Families often believe that by criticizing and "being firm" s/he will give up addiction (which could be anything from over-eating, alcohol, drugs, tranquillizers etc.). Research in Neurosciences is revealing deeper facts now. Read this article and compare with stammering scenario..
http://www.seattlepi.com/news/article/Addiction-a-brain-disorder-not-just-bad-behavior-2027960.php
Here is some more discovery about our brain: it seems that because of some deficit in certain areas in left brain in growing years, integration of hearing and speaking takes place on the right side- but imperfectly. This contributes to stammering; Not just speech, it affects certain other functions also like finger tapping. Read here for interesting details:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/08/110815113534.htm
What does these findings mean? Give up? NO. To me they mean, accept stammering as it is (instead of saying "it is just a bad habit" or it is all "psychology, negative thinking"..)
and then RETRAIN your brain, attitudes, values, emotions and communication skills..
Remember our motto is: Better attitudes through Knowledge".
"..Speech pathologist and therapists have never been able to cure stuttering because most of the causes are of the spiritual world (or dimension) and not accessible by scientific methods.
From a psychic's view, a stuttering problem is caused by any combination of four factors including the throat chakra, curse, karma knot and habit. (I will explain each of these.)
..Ric Weinman sensed (or psychically scanned) me and told me that my stuttering was not due to a curse, but that I had a "karma knot" associated with my stuttering. So, karma can be another direct cause of stuttering.
In regards to karma, there is a universal Law of Karma that is well-known in Eastern religions including Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism, Sikhism and Taoism. Good karma is good deeds and thoughts. Bad karma is bad deeds and thoughts. In the end, bad karma has be worked off or balanced with good karma. On rare occasions, bad karma has also been forgiven via Divine Grace..."
If some PWS believe this (above causes), then it has to be taken seriously by those who want to help them, ie. the therapists. In Medical Anthropology, it has been seen that a common ground of understanding between the patient and therapist, has to be developed first - for onward progress of treatment and healing to become possible. If the client seriously believes that his fever is due to violation of certain religious rules, doctor's medicines may "cure" the Malaria but the patient may not achieve a state of health and wholeness.
I was about to dismiss all the above as oriental mumbo-jumbo but stopped short: we in self help movement also need to understand other people's perspective. So, while we take no "for or against" stand, we just ask you to broaden your own horizon and come to your own conclusions.
May be you know all about TED.. But let me recommend two of these:
1. JD Schramm asks us to break the silence surrounding suicide and suicide attempts... This video reminded me so much of many youngsters trying to talk about stammering for the FIRST time in life.. Great relevance to us..
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/jd_schramm.html
2. Success of Psychoanalysis in 19th-20th century, created a trend of interpreting EVERY deviation from the normal, in terms of psychological phenomena (repressed emotions, early trauma etc.). Same has happened even in the field of stammering therapy:Psychotherapists will go on counseling or giving hypnosis sessions, WITHOUT incorporating any of the well-known speech therapy tools- simply because they are convinced that stammering is ONLY a psychological phenomena.
This second video- V. Ramachandran talks about how a Neurological problem (Capgras syndrome) was believed to be a "Psychological" problem (Schizophrenia) for a long time, because of the above mentioned tendency..
PS: No way do we mean to deny the secondary development of psychological, emotional issues, in response to stammering... But these are secondary phenomena in most cases, as far as present knowledge indicates.
“See that any time you feel pained or defeated, it is only because you insist on clinging to what doesn’t work. Dare to let go and you won’t lose a thing except for a punishing idea.” — Guy Finle
"The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen" - Frank Lloyd Wright
“Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds.” -Orison Swett Marden
"You can't cross a sea by merely staring into the water." - Rabindranath Tagore
"A fool can become a genious when he understands he is a fool but a genius can become a fool when he understands he is a genius" - Dr. Abdul Kalam
My Favorite :) "You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you." -Brian Tracy
“All misery comes from fear and unsatisfied desire. When we know that we never die, we will have no more fear of death. When we know that we are perfect, we will have no more vain desires. These causes being absent, both there will be no misery--there will be perfect bliss, even while in this body….” - Said by Swami Vivekananda
It is a only mental block that prevents one from achieving any goal.
Have you heard of “Roger Bannister”? (if NOT, then Read ON!!)
>"He was the first athlete to run the mile in less than four minutes." In doing so, he not only broke the four-minute barrier, but also taught a valuable lesson… Back in the 1950's, the world record - 4 minutes 1.4 seconds - was held by Sweden's Ginder Haegg. The record stood for several years since it was set in 1945. Athletes, experts and the world were convinced that it was impossible to run a mile in less than four minutes. Some even argued that the human body was biologically incapable of running the mile in less than four minutes!!!
And then, on 6th May, 1954, Roger Bannister did the impossible. He broke the four minute barrier, finishing the race in 3 minutes, 59.4 seconds. His rival - Charles Landy - had thrice run the mile in less than 4 minutes 2 seconds without breaching the 4 minute mark. The four minute barrier was "like a wall", Landy had said. But guess what? Just 56 days after Bannister's feat, Landy ran the mile in 3 minutes 57.9 seconds. And by 1957, 16 athletes around the world ran the mile in under 4 minutes. The 4 minute mental barrier was truly shattered!
What really happened? Did coaches get smarter and teach the athletes new techniques? Did running shoes get more sophisticated? Did bodies suddenly get stronger? No. The 4 minute barrier it turned out was not a physiological one - just a mental one! As Roger Bannister explained later, it seemed illogical that you could run a mile in 4 minutes and a bit, but not break 4 minutes. His mind refused to accept that barrier. That made all the difference.
Once that mental barrier was broken by Bannister, everyone believed it could be done! And once the belief changed, the rest was easy.
It's important to understand that our achievements in life are limited not by what we can do, but by what we think we can do. More than ability, it's our attitude that makes the difference. As Henry Ford said, "If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you are right".
You will probably find your mind constantly grappling with two competing thoughts: 'I can't!' and 'I can!' How do you ensure the 'I can' wins? How can we break our mental barrier of 'I can't'?
Important
You won't always find a Bannister to break your mental barrier. You need to do it yourself. Once you start feeding the 'I can' thought, you will achieve more than you ever thought was possible!
This is what I believe TISA is promoting .. “Believe in Yourself.. Change the Mental Block… Accept your Speech Disability And C the Wonders”
"The Centre for Disability Studies (CDS) has put together a working draft of the New Law. It is a working draft, which means that it is a draft on which work can still happen and will still happen..." I am sharing some interesting parts from it. If you want to read the whole document, email me.
Whereas Persons with Disability have a right:
to integrity, dignity and respect with full participation and inclusion;
to assert human interdependence and celebrate human diversity;
to live a life free of shame, ridicule, or any form of disempowerment and stereotyping;
to be bearers of all civil-political and socio-economic rights guaranteed by international and national law on an equal basis with others.
To this end the Union of India, in its sixty-third year, enacts the Right to Persons with Disabilities Act as follows...
Then, again:
Right to Home and Family
Notwithstanding anything contained in the law for the time being in force, every person with disability shall be entitled to solemnise a marriage with a spouse of his or her choice.
A marriage under Section 1 may be solemnised if the following conditions are fulfilled:
Neither party has a spouse living at the time of the marriage;
The bridegroom has completed the age of twenty – one years and the bride has completed the age of eighteen years at the time of marriage;
That the other spouse was aware of the disabilities of the person with disabilities at the time of marriage;
Both spouses consent to the marriage.
(3) A marriage under Section 1 shall be void if the conditions under Section 2(i), 2(ii) and 2(iv) were not fulfilled at the time of marriage.
(4) A marriage under Section 1 shall be voidable if the conditions under Section 2(iii) were not fulfilled at the time of marriage.
Provided that a marriage under Section 1 shall not be void or voidable solely because one or both of the spouses were people with disabilities at the time of the marriage.
(4) Notwithstanding anything contained in the law for the time being in force, neither party to a marriage shall be granted a decree of divorce based solely on the ground that the other party is a person with disability.
TJY tries to simulate Gandhi and Vivekananda's journey through India- which helped to consolidate their ideas as to what could help transform this vast land.. Religious Yatra is an integral part of our cultural landscape.. Many of us are meeting the intelligent and young Indians from the "middle India". Thoughts, ideas are ricocheting all over the train all the time.. Intellectual discussions are interspersed by jokes, fun, singing and dancing. Below is a Yatri singing a Marathi song of valor and desh-prem..
Below is Kathleen, a German yatri! She works for TCS at Baroda. She scored highest on awareness about "things to keep in mind while talking to a pws". I have been informally discussing what yatris know about disability and the protocol recommended while interacting with someone with any disability..
I celebrated my new year quietly in the train as it moved from Hyderabad towards Orissa..I am holding fine.. It has been a big adventure.
Last week, I came across this yet another website, started by one of those self-proclaimed “ex-stammerer”, who have come up with a program to get rid of stutter (it’s amazing how the species belonging to this community is growing at an alarming rate!). Everything usual about this site, but one thing worth a mention is the way they have tried to woo the PWS.
This site features a scene from the 1992 Hollywood comedy flick “My cousin Vinny” on its homepage. This movie deals with two young lads in New York, who are accused in a murder case, which they didn’t commit, and the comic attempts of their cousin Vincent (Vinny), a newbie lawyer, to defend them. This lawyer is not only a novice, to add to the woes, he also stammers… very badly, and this where the comedy lies. The lawyer’s funny attempts of stuttering through meek arguments and the funny gestures (secondary symptoms) he tries to come out of his stutter, creates humour for this plot! A hilarious scene from this movie is embedded above.
Does it hurt? Of course, as a PWS, when I saw such scenes which ‘used’ stammering to create humour did hurt. It was even more embarrassing if I see such scenes with other people around me. When people laugh at such scenes, it creates a pile of thoughts like, do these people also laugh behind my back when I stutter? When Mahesh Manjrekar played a PWS in “Kaante”, it hurt. When Johny Lever played Chotta Chattri, a don who stutters in “Awaara Pagal Deewana”, it again hurt. If I had seen this scene from “My Cousin Vinny” a year ago, probably it would have hurt too. But this time, I was able to take the humour in this scene in its right spirit. Yes- stammering can sometimes produce quality humour… Movies may utilize stammering to create humour, but as long as it is within the permissible limits, it is okay. And what are the permissible limits? In my opinion if the scenes are so shot not as to create a mockery of the Stutter or the Stutterer, but for pure humour only, then it is within permissible limit.
For example in this scene, the gestures and ordinary arguments is what that creates humour. The stammer-related humour is in fact funny! It’s shot in the right spirit. Stammering is sometimes funny. So is sometimes the way people walk, or the way people behave! The stuttering lawyer ends up being a laughing-stock because of his stupid arguments, in general. In between, he does give an impression of making a promising defence… But ends up to be a failure again… It’s the abilities of the lawyer that makes look stupid… not his stammer! It would be great if the readers judge this scene from this movie and rate it in terms of their own yardstick. Does it hurt? Or it doesn’t?
PS: As for the ex-stammerer’s website, bad luck to him! He didn’t impress me!
