September 11, 2016

Mind War – The Battle of Perspectives

Is it wrong to love the way I stutter?
Isn’t it unethical to run away from the very nature of my stuttering?
Why Am I trying to emulate fluent speech?
Is stuttering being associated with unacceptance in the facade of fluency?
Why Am I using acceptance as a tool to get to a state of fluent speech?
Is acceptance a tool or a state of being?
I am confused, what is stuttering?
Is stuttering the very state of my being?
Should I give up natural state of my being just to fit into some socially acceptable norm of fluency?
Am I really confused?

I want to find out the answers not to solve the mystery behind what is stuttering or what it is not. I want to find out answers not to create a path that leads to goodness of fluency.
Also I want to find out answers not to solve the mystery behind what is fluency or what it is not. I want to find out answers not to create a path that leads to the goodness of stuttering.

But I want to find the answers such that it deepens the mystery instead of solving it. Answers that will create more mystery such that we start to question the very nature of our confusion going in our heads.

 There is lot of information available to us just a click away.  May be it will create an added knowledge base to our intellect. Is it really helping us in any way deep down? Probably we only know the answer well. May be the information initially successfully creates a romantic connect, we feel good, but sooner or later it fades away. And it leaves us wanting more information to feel good. We experiment with the new information on stuttering, practice it, get the result, period. May be one day I become fluent. May be I never become fluent. Who knows?
Is it over yet? Why isn’t it over yet? May be I should see a different speech therapist? I have asked these endless questions to myself over long periods of time.

I want to expose you to a different realm of the whole drama.
I guess the sheer number of fluent speakers on the other side of the coin are making us feel the illusion that stuttering is some undesirable quality. And the very illusion feels apparently more real when some of the so called fluent speakers support the undesirable quality to be undesirable. They are the culprits who wants us to speak like them. And we become the puppets who support their version of what is normal and abnormal views. Either ways both the perspectives are born out of illusions.

For example:
 Why can’t we force them to be like us? For a moment it seems an absurd idea. But think over it for a while.
What if we are less in number? We can outweigh them not by number but by our diverse nature. We have more diversity than them. We have people who stutter in different ways. A stutterer stutters in multiple different ways If we find out different ways of stuttering, probably we could end up with a number which is far more than the population of our planet.

Now I guess research should be done in this area. Now the fluent researchers will be defeated and disappointed because there is only one way of speaking fluently. So clearly we are the winners. We are richer in quality than them. Poor fluent speakers, feeling bad for you. Comrades, congratulations for the victory. Long live stuttering. Cherish the diversity. Are you feeling better?

I gave the above example just to create a shift in the way we all look at stuttering. I am not trying to prove anyone right or wrong. I mean is this war in mind really needed. I guess both the sides are equally false and illusory. Just shifting the sides of the coins might make us feel better for a moment, but the confusion of fluency and stuttering is a never ending battle created by all of us. Let’s end the war and create a unified diversity without labels.

With the unification, the battle between the perspectives will end. It will surely create peace and tranquillity all over the planet, with the very dissolution of conflicts. There will grow acceptance for differences, now it doesn’t matter what we label the difference. The very difference is the very being of the individual, which is supposed to be the natural and organic entity they are born with.

Comrades, let’s put the poisonous coin of conflict in the furnace of love and unification. Let’s stand up together for oneness. We have the weapon of acceptance with us.
Is it really necessary to solve the mystery? Is my confusion just an illusion?

Vipul Patil

2 comments:

sachin said...

One of the few posts, which have come out straight from the heart! Ek dam dil se!
Congrats Vipul. You are right. We dont have to emulate anyone, unless we really want to.
This kind of subtle pressure has been felt by many, not just stammerers: Lefties were forced to use right hand, Free spirited girls were labeled "Tom boy"; people with different sexual orientation were called "queer"; women not wanting to marry were branded as "witches"; Dyslexic child is labeled as "problem Child"; Galileo who believed that earth moved, was called "heretic".. List is long. The pressure to conform is subtle. But once you become aware of it, you can slip away..

This is what we are doing in TISA. We are consciously moving away from "stammering as a disorder" paradigm. If it is a diversity, we need no therapy. We just need to get together once in a while and have fun. Yes, we can have REAL fun only in the company of one another. (For others it may not be fun- who knows! So we want to spare them! with all due respect.)

Keep walking the less traveled path... You will meet some interesting punks and amazing stragglers on this path..

ABHISHEK KUMAR said...

Awesome post. It helps us to revisit and recheck our own notions about our stuttering, and let be in pease.