Good Morning friends, My name is SKV (Ed: we have suppressed name for special reasons). When you see anybody always say Good morning no matter that time is night or afternoon because when we say good morning that time freshness comes from us that also freshens everybody - but that is not today’s topic.
I don’t know why I do stammer. But upto adult age I was thinking that since I was beaten by my mother in childhood, for that reason I stammer. But now I dont think that is a major reason. In school time also the time was very tough for me because in school there are lots of reason- the students teased me. One was- I stammered, other was I was too thin; so students teased me. My name is shailender so students tease me for cylinder and calendar. One slogan I still remember : “Iska naam to cylinder ye chala kitchen ke andar”! That slogan I listened from boys around 20 times daily in school. A time came when I hated to go to school. I was also not able to concentrate on study. I was average student in school.
But I quickly completed my school after getting 33% marks. Not a good percentage for admission in any college. I was happy also because I feared ragging. Again I am going off the track, So in B. Com I was not able to complete because of Economics. Then I joined BSc IT. In that period,I also joined an English speaking course. In that course I think I performed very well. Even I lost my stammering in the classes. There is a group of 30 to 40 and we did daily debates. Among 30 students except one, none else could beat me in debate and in 30 students only I was stammerer! I also noticed that after completing that course my stammering also was lost but after some time It returned.
In that period of time I also join a speech therapy from a clinic nearby my house. They charged 300/- per class in 2001. They charged even on that first day when I went there just for details! He said - I am doctor and that is a consultation fees which you have to pay! But that time money was no constraint. The techniques which he was teaching was "pausing". I was practicing but not able to use it in front of a stranger. I did most on my practice in my house when I was alone. But after a period of time I left that.
In my BScIT degree course I had to do a viva in which we had to perform a topic on stage and all the teachers and viva students sat in audience. My madam (teacher) suggested to me that if I did not like to perform then she will give me half marks but she preferred that I should perform. Then I prepared. I did very well except 2-3 blocks in question answer round. I was very good in all viva and I also get good numbers.
After completing BScIT I tried lots of companies for jobs. But did not get good response. I could not get even an interview call. I went around about 1000 companies/consultants but was not able to crack a job. In 2008 I got a job from my papa’s reference in a MNC’s. That was a golden period of my time. I enjoyed lots and made first time some friends. At that time I also interacted with girls for the first time- because I had studied in boys school (Non co-ed) so we not comfortable to interaction with girls. In that time I was able to deal with the fear of talking with girls. I made some friends among girls first time in life at that time. But after 1 year and 3 months I was fired because of some politics.
Then again I joined a English speaking course that helped me a lot in stammering. They practised some exercises in English, the same exercises I saw in Delhi SHG group like we have to interact in metro with someone with a topic in English; there, our teachers use to help us to do it etc I did around 4-5 month continuously that course; my instructor helped me even after completing that course. At that time I got married. I was able to control my stammering with my fiancé. But after my marriage that institute closed and slowly my stammering returned.
From my papa’s reference I got a job in a manufacturing company. That was starting of my Accountancy career. I was good there. But there was lots of abusive language whole day around and lots of loud noises everywhere. That affected my stammering. The working environment also not friendly there. Then from my papa’s reference I got a job in a trading company.
My papa always said to me- "you are nothing without me; you got 4 jobs, all from my reference". That I also accepted. Because I tried lots, but did not get a job in 8 years after completing 12th. That company was very good- just opposite of my last company. Work environment was very friendly. Staff was also very supportive. Now I was father of a daughter! At that time I started thinking about curing my stammering. For this I started a speech therapy from Fortis Hospital. Here I was giving Rs 600/- per visit to a speech therapist. I admired the work of speech therapist. But fault was mine (Edior: really?) that I was not able to apply those techniques in public. I was even recording when I did practicing or when I did not. But cure not happened because I was doing practice only in my home or in office where only 5-6 people worked, of whom I interacted with only 2-3 persons.
Atthat period of time I can say that I was good in telephonic speaking because no one was watching us and I often did chat on phone around 1 hour to a single person. I cracked even lots of insurance in telephonic conversations. I was also doing interview on regular basis for practice and first time in life I cracked an interview- means I got a job without my papa’s reference and the interviewer was also ready to take me happily. I work there for one year and he fired me for some work issue. I got one month salary advance. Now I had no job. I was not able talk to my family about it. Daily I left my home with Tiffin for office and went for interviews.
In one month I did around 70 interviews to companies and consultants for a job. When I had no interview, that time I stayed in my friend’s house. After 15 days I told the truth to my dad, on mobile phone, that I was jobless since 15 days. My family understood me and did not talk much about it at that time. But later I got some rough lines about it.
After one month I got a job through my talent and was able to convince the employer. That time I applied my whole heart to that job and never looked at the clock while I was working there. Now also I am working there.
After 12th I also joined LIC of India as suggested by my father because he is also doing that from many years and his dream was that I succeed in LIC agency. But I don’t know now since I have completed 15 years in LIC agency but am not able to perform - in my opinion. I am a gold medalist in LIC agency but I can say that all the work is done by my father. That does not mean that I have not tried. I have given hundreds of presentation of insurance but not a good presentation, I think. I don’t know- when I try to sell a policy, my stammering reaches on worst. Even to my family members or friends where I do stammer very less. I also did some policies around I can say 5 % but some are of efforts and some are of luck. I not want to say much because It will become lengthy - like, take an example: In my BSc IT course I tried all the people to sell a policy to many students, receptionist, different teachers, accountant, manager, engineer etc but no one take it but a peon take it from front, I not try to sell him. He demanded from front.
A time also came when I said to my family - I dont like to do LIC work because of my stammering. I want to quit but now after joining TISA, I am again thinking to do a fresh start in LIC and want to do extra ordinary!! My dream is: I want to do a MDRT in LIC from my own efforts. MDRT is Million Dollar Round Table mean any person earned 8,45,300 in a year by fresh policies then they give you a trip to USA for a conference (after charging some money).