August 3, 2014

My JJJourney with TISA

It has been almost 1 year of my association with TISA. I still remember when i was depressed and frustrated with myself. I just happened to visit TISA blog in my quest to "eliminate" or cure stammering. I then happened to reach Herbertpur. I went along with my family to meet Dr. Sachin. When I met him , my first question was " Uncle , main theek ho jaunga" So frustrated  was I with myself. Until then , I used to think that speech is just a physical mechanism. But he told me that communication skills can be improved by bringing attitudinal changes. Then  also,I wasn't convinced from within. I was so afraid to join my first job . I postponed my joining for about 20 days. Then , Sachin sir encouraged me to go for it. Still I wouldn't believe him. I even used to call him from my office regarding how to tackle conversations with my colleagues.

 I went through the TISA self help manual  and when i heard of " Vipassana" I was scared.
Gradually, I adopted his advice of only  " maintaining eye contact " and "smiling". Gradually I gained in confidence... but i was still in my comfort zone. Then after some 1-2 months , somehow again anxiety used to resurface when i used to talk with group of people(it still is a problem with me...but now a less complicated problem ) or when i was told to  go to banks to deposit cheques or to the company advocate. I also went  to NC , Delhi.  There I met Jasbir Sir , Pawas Sir and Tarak Sir.Now, I somewhat got convinced that the efforts have to be put in by me only.I  joined English speaking classes where I participated in GDs. I even taught my neighbour's  son for 2-3 months.I used to do voluntary stuttering with 10 strangers everyday( although that was with less authoritative people) for about 1 month.Then i went to the Pune workshop.It was there I learned so much from Virendra Sir and other TISA friends.Seeing their professional achievements I felt motivated. Until then, I used to think that stammerers can't achieve success in their professional lives.i remembered the train exercise that we did. I was in constant touch with Jasbir sir and Sachin sir on the phone.
Looking  at what i was 1 year ago and now I  think that I have brought +vity in my thinking.....although i still get scared sometimes  for a moment when i stammer....but  i try to motivate myself and the journey is on.......

3 comments:

sachin said...

Thanks Karan, for sharing your self-help approach and methods.. I am sure many pws will find it useful. Also, writing it down will help you too- you will reflect on your experiences and internalize the lessons learnt.. Bravo! Keep it up..

kumar kundan said...

Thanks for sharing karan.

Virendra said...

Good job! Great to hear about your journey. Everyone of has gone thru the bad phase of life. We will still go, but we have support from self help group like people who are from TISA without spending money. It is our duty to dial to a person and tell what we feel and then there are plenty of people in TISA who can be termed as Recovered Stammerer who are ready to help.