February 18, 2014

A million dollar question!!

Today morning, when travelling through the local bus here, I got quite a good block when asking the conductor for ticket and there was a big crowd looking at me at that moment.It was a bit embarrassing for me at that moment (shows that I have to travel a lot towards self acceptance).

Then, after returning to my room...i took a news paper and start reading....initially i tried prolongation....then only after a few lines....i quit prolongation and tried bouncing and again i switched over to pausing after few more lines and then I dumped that as well as I always found book reading or more precisely, SLOW BOOK READING a bullshit thing.

Then, I started reading in my normal speaking style without any technique and I read for almost 20 minutes without a single block.......then, i uttered that word "CHRISTIAN HOSPITAL" which embarrassed me in the bus for almost 10 times in my normal speaking style without single block.So, is reading or speech practicing alone at your room intact is of any use at all???

I thinks, FEAR,SHAME and all other negative feelings are the main culprit. All these speech techniques are just a mind game that,yes, i have practiced this or that technique and hence, now, I will speak better and this positive affirmation do give some ease in speech struggle and we, EXTRA TALENTED stammerers bestowed all the credit to that speech technique.

8 comments:

Tarak said...

Ashish, for the techniques you listed, practicing in group is much more effective than by yourself. As you point out, people don't stammer alone without imagining other people or situation. Practicing in group brings in the people factor. As I understand, your question is: are these techniques only a mind game?


Rather than giving a yes/no answer, I'll tell you how how it has helped me. With my personality, I was always in a rush to speak my mind. As I practiced prolongation, two things happened: a) it helped me develop a non-stammering voice; discovered that speaking slow is actually more better for effective communication, and b) my mind learned that stammering is very negligible for me at that pace. Hence, I now have a tool available to me. When I am conducting a major cross-continental meeting, I start off in my non-stammering voice. When I start speaking fast and stumble, because of the practice, I can easily fall back into my comfort zone. WIthout practice, I would have kept stumbling and making it worse for me. Hope this helps! (Do practice with others ... even if it is on phone or skype or google hangout). All the best.

Tarak said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joy deep Majumder said...

@Ashish: from your post i understand that you got stuck at the word "CHRISTIAN HOSPITAL" at the ticket counter ..if i was in the same situation..which i am often in...:)i would chosen these paths to address the problem.

Would have prefixed "christian hospital with the any of these as per my mood..

1)Good Morning Sir..Christian hospital please !!
2)Smile..smile big..buy my time and say the word..
3)one/ek christian hospital please..
4)ek/one hospital please..presuming "C" is your problem area and presuming their would be only one stop which correlates with "Christian Hospital"
5)If i anticipate that i would get stuck at the word ..despite using prefixes..then i might also turn tricky and say.." give me a ticketfor the station after xyz..or before xyz..

i can feel many a eyebrows raising at my comment..labeling my ideas as trickery/gimmickry /avoidance techniques...but it serves me good at times..and saves me time for other essential aspects of my life..instead of draining me ..

Joy deep Majumder said...

@Ashish: from your post i understand that you got stuck at the word "CHRISTIAN HOSPITAL" at the ticket counter ..if i was in the same situation..which i am often in...:)i would chosen these paths to address the problem.

Would have prefixed "christian hospital with the any of these as per my mood..

1)Good Morning Sir..Christian hospital please !!
2)Smile..smile big..buy my time and say the word..
3)one/ek christian hospital please..
4)ek/one hospital please..presuming "C" is your problem area and presuming their would be only one stop which correlates with "Christian Hospital"
5)If i anticipate that i would get stuck at the word ..despite using prefixes..then i might also turn tricky and say.." give me a ticketfor the station after xyz..or before xyz..

i can feel many a eyebrows raising at my comment..labeling my ideas as trickery/gimmickry /avoidance techniques...but it serves me good at times..and saves me time for other essential aspects of my life..instead of draining me ..

Tarak said...

There are two views: short term and long term.
In the short term, avoidance techniques in specific trying situation are practical and should be used (similar to carrying note and pen mentioned in Amit's post).
For longer term benefits (see my post on taming your stammer dog), it is better to practice unblocking techniques such as bouncing or prolongation. Besides dealing with the situation, the use of unblocking techniques have two other advantages: 1. you get used to other people noticing your stammering, 2. you don't have to spend mental energy in thinking about which prefix will be appropriate in every different situation; unblocking techniques generally apply in most situations. More importantly, getting comfortable with people noticing your stammer, has important long term benefits. You free up you mind off that burden and focus your mental energy on more important things in life including effective communication. All opinions welcome!

Joy deep Majumder said...

Long term is organic..holistic...and gives you good foundation..its more like your saving bank a/c..short term is like your credit card ..flash it in emergency :)

sachin said...

Joy- I agree. Some time ago, while researching "armed conflict and gender violence" I came across an advice by a well respected women's organization to women caught in such struggle: "In conflict situations, the soldier has no reason to want to keep you alive. Dont resist rape. Save your life instead."

I think, we pws, also should not have such rigid ideas like- "Changing the word etc. is a gimmick and must be avoided at all costs." Of course we should know the pros and cons of everything we do and we must feel FREE to take our chances..our decisions.. and be HAPPY about it!
(So, yes, great minds are in agreement!!)

Amit Dixshit said...

Practice techniques have meditating effect too...techniques works if you understands it in essence.