mera mann (mind) hamesa sahi logic nahi deta !!!!!

Ye mera personal experiment raha hai last more than six month ka ho sakta hai kisi ko  mera experiment sirf ek pagalpan lage lekin is pagalpan  se gujarne ke bad mere thinking pattern ko change karne me bahut jayda help mila.

Last year  mujhe lagne laga ki techanique (bouncing, prolongation ya other mujhe kuch jayda help nhi kar rahi ya ye kah sakte hai ki ek limit ke bad help karna band kar diya tha . ya ye bhi ho sakta hai ki mai is techanique ka used to nhi ho paya tha. ek din aise hi mujhe sachin sir ka statement yad aaya ki kabhi kabhi hame apne mann ke opposite bhi karna chayea.  Aur jp sir ne bhi ek bar bola tha ki humlogo ka mann hamesa sahi logic nhi deta hai.  Ye apne aap me itna deep hai ki mujhe us time clear nhi hua.  Kuch time bad maine mind , intellect and sanskar ke bare me suna. Ye kaise work karte hai.  Aur maine rajyoga ka course kiya jisme ye batya gaya ki  I am a soul and mind (mann) aur intellect iski do power  hai.  Mann  ka kam picture banana (sankalp aur thought create karna) hai jo bhi decision intelluct deta hai aur usi ke according hamare habbit bante hai. Aur wo sanskar  me aa jata hai.iska matlab ye ki man aur intellect jaise power ka use mai soul hi karti hu. Iska matlab ye ki ab mujhe apne man ki baat manane ki jarurat nhi hai mai apne man ke opposite bhi sochane ke liye apne intellect ko bol sakta hu. Kyoki  intellect ka work hai decision lena ki man jo bol raha hai wo sahi hai ya nhi . lekin iske liye condition hai ki man ka peace hona ya apne thought , behavior aur action ke bare me bhi awerness honi chayea. Yaha se mere mann  mai vichar aaya ki humlog ki techanique isliye fail ho jati hai kyoki mera mann  change ko accept nhi kar  pata aur paresan  ho jata hai. ya ye kahe ki thora sa bhi change hone par judgemental ho jata hai. aur judgemental hone pe ya to hum sahi hote hai ya galat. Sahi hone pe confidence high aur galat hone pe regret ,shame, fear , guilt create karne lagte hai. is tarah mera confidence, peace , happiness situation ke according fluctuate hota rahta hai. kya kuch aisa ho sakta hai ki mera mental state stable rahe.kya aisa ho sakta hai ki hum apne daily work ko perfect na bhi kare to bhi calm rahe apne apko regreat na kare. Kya aisa ho sakta hai ki jo humne apne liye rule build kiye hai agar wo break ho to bhi hum mental stability (peace)  ki state me rahe. Is tarah ke rule ko break karne ke liye ya apne mental block ko break karne ke liye maine experiment karna start kiya . kyoki mera man hi ek hai jo koi bhi techanique apply karne ki kosis karta hu to wo mujhe  switch karne ke liye press kar deta hai. agar kisi tarah ye meri bat manane lage ya mai iske work karne ke method ke against sochna start karu to mujhe stammering aur personality pe work karna jayda easy ho jayega .uske bad maine kuch is tarah se experiment kiya jaise mera mann hai tea lene ka maine mann ke against coffee li. Mera mann aaj bahar dinner karne ka hai lekin maine mann ke opposite jakar room pe hi dinner banaya. Kal mera interview hai 11 a.m. aur mera jane ka mann nhi hai maine mann se bola chalo noida dekh kar aate hai formal dress me interview nhi denge.  Mai noida gaya waha jakar apne mann ko samjhaya ki ab aaye hai to interview de hi dete hai. kabhi kabhi aisa bhi kiya ki interview ka time hai 10 am  to mujhe lagta tha ki agar mai time pe nhi gaya to interviewer kya sochange ki ye to time ka punctual nhi hai. to mai 1 hours late se gaya lekin aisa kisi ne kuch kaha nhi. Meri marji mai appointment lekar na bhi jau interview dene . aksar aisa hota tha ki mai interview room me gaya aur interviwer ko wish kiya aur interview diya kyoki mai ise rule manta tha kya aisa bhi ho sakta hai ki mai interview room me jane ke par wish na karke interviewer se hand shake karu aur interview du maine aisa kya. Delhi ki bus me apne man ke opposite chalne ke liye kuch is tarah experiment kiye. Jaise  mai interview dene ke liye ya room pe wapas jane ke liye late ho raha hu. Bus me seat hai bus bhi wahi ja rahi hai. mera man kahta ki isme baith jao. Mai ek d0 bus aur jane deta tha to aisa karne ke bad jo tension hone lagti thi mai use balane karne ki kosis karne lagta ki ye bus skip karna meri choice thi mai kyo tension lu. Jaise mai metro me kahi ja raha mere side ek bahut hi beautiful girl hai. mere mann me kuch aise thought chalne lage ki  mai isase kaise bat kar sakta hu. Mai to haklata hu kya pata mai isase bat karu to kahi block ho gaya to kya hoga. Mai thora sa aur fluent ho jau to bat karna start karunga.aur waise bhi sirf 1 hour ka safar hai kya pata phir kabhi na mile. To bat karne ka advantage  kya?......its ok kya mai apne man ke opposite bhi soch sakta hu isi time kuch aise ki mai is girl se bat kar raha hu. Bahut acche se bat kiya isne . meri words ko acche se suna. Mai block kar raha hu phir bhi ye comfortable hai.aur mujhe appreciate kar rahi hai.

Mere parents se communication gap tha one year pahle. Maine ye observe kiya ki mai unke pas jab bhi hota hu mai silent mode me  rahta hu. Aur mere thoughts kuch aise chalte the . inse haklane ke bare me kya bat kare ye to kabhi mere haklane ko  accept hi nhi kar sakte. Jab bhi inse kuch bolta hu to ye guess karne lagte hai word ko aur sentence ko complete karne lagte hai.jab is tarah ki negative ya accept na karne wali thinking chal rahi hai mere mind me to mai unse openly kaise baat kar sakta hu. Yaha pe maine apne man ke opposite sochna start kiya ki ye mere parents hai aur mai jaisa bhi hu jitna bhi stammer karta hu ye mujhe accept karange aisa mujhe lagta hai ki ye accept nhi karte  lekin aisa nhi hai. maine aisa sirf sochkar mental block create kar liya hai. aur mujhe aise mental block ko break karna hoga. Maine 3-4 month kuch aise hi experiment kiya jisme mujhe apne mann ke opposite jakar work karna pada. Aisa karne ke bad meri awareness acchi ho gai hai. aur mujhe lagta hai ki maine jo apne liye mental blockes create kar liya tha. Ki ye work kuch aise hi hona chayea aisa rule hai.yahi hame apne goal ki taraf jane se rokte hai.  jaise ki ye mere boss hai to inko dekh kar fear create karna hi hai. tabhi unko feel hoga hoga ki wo mere team leader hai. kya mai aisa bhi soch sakta hu ki unko respect dene ke liye fear create karne ki jarurat nhi hai. kuch is tarah apne man ke against jakar work karne ki practice karne pe mere pas do tin options milne lagte hai ki real life me stammering se related kuch hone pe mai kaise response  karu. Kuch time pahle main ek company join kiya . mera first day tha mere mann me kuch aise thought aane lage ki yaha mai kisi ko janta nhi . koi mujse kuch puch na le. Aisa mai lunch tak sochta raha . lunch karne gaya to do- tin ne bol hi diya new joining. Mai bahut dar sa gaya tha. usi me account bhi open karne wala aa gaya.waha bhi blockes hone lage. Reception pe gaya waha bhi blockes aane lage.  Suddenly mujhe awerness aai ki mujhe apne mann ke opposite thought create  karna hai. phir sirf ek minute bad mere attutide me change aaya. Aur mai network department me gaya. Waha 100 se jayda employee the  bahut se senior the aur kuch ki joining thi mai sabse personally mila unse handshake kiya aur unka name pucha aur apna name batya. Uske bad mere mind me aaya ki apne technical head  se mil kar dekhte hai. us time mere mann me ye thought chal rahe the ki reporting ke liye bole nhi hai aise kaise mil sakta hu. Aisa thought mai kudh create kar raha hu. Mil kar dekhte hai . kya hota hai?  jayda se jayda wo bolange ki reporting ke time aana. Lekin mai milne gaya reporting ke din se pahle aur wo bahut kush hue.  Mai reception pe  gaya  ki mere ghar se phone aane lage  maine phone switch off kar liya. Mere mann  me kuch aise thought chal rahe the ki reception pe phone kaise attend kar sakta hu. Itne jayda log hai. kahi ye mam bol de ki bahar jakar bat karo. Kahi ye sochne lage ki mai kaise bol raha hu. Maine apne mann ko batya ki yahi pe rahte hue ghar phone karke dekhte hai kya hota hai. mam kya bolti hai. yaha pe jo visitor aaye hai unka kaisa reaction hai. maine 3-4 minute bat kiya . kisi ko koi dikat nhi hui. Ha kuch ko strange jaisa laga ki mai block kar raha hu. Finally ek bat clear hone lagi ki hum jab kisi se effect hone lagte hai to wo samne wale ki personality ki specialty nhi hai. wo meri awareness ki kami hai . ya apne mann ke opposite na chalne ke reasons se hai. ya ise kuch is tarah dekhe ki jo kuch bhi hum sunte hai ,bolte hai, dekhte hai, usi ke according hamara intellect decision deta  hai aur mann picture create karta hai . wo image sahi bhi ho sakti hai ya galat bhi ho sakti hai. yadi meri pas awareness nhi hai to jayda chance hai ki hum apne mann ko follow karange  aur apne mental block ko break na kar paye. Aur yadi kuch time tak mann ke opposite work karte rahe to techanique ko bhi follow karna  bahut easy ho jayega kisi bhi live situation me.  isliye kabhi kabhi hame apne man ke opposite chal kar bhi dekhna chayea ki kya hota hai. aur agar aisa kar rahe to result ki responsibility leni padegi ki ye meri choice thi isliye aisa result raha. Aur jaisa bhi result aaye usko lekar judgemental na hoe. Aur apne apko regreat na kare use ek detach observer ki tarah observe kare.  Agar thora sa aur detail me haklane ke case me dekhe to meri habbit  hai kuch din bouncing kuch din prolongation kuch din mediation kuch din ke bad in sabko band kar deta hu. ye bhi mere man ki hi sararat hai. ab mai kuch aise karta hu jab mera man karta hai bouncing karne ka to prolong karta hu. Jab prolong karke bolne ka man karta hai to fluent bolta hu. Jis din shg me jane ka man nhi karta us din jata hu. Jis din jane ka man karta hai us din nhi jata. Shop pe jata hu jaha mai easily bol sakta hu, shopkeeper ke puchne pe kuch der tak chup rah jata hu aur dekhne ki kosis karta hu ki mere mind ke thought kaise chal rahe hai. kya mai mann se bhi relax rah sakta hu. Meri marji ki mai shopkeeper ki shop pe thora time waste karne ke bad shopping karu ya na bhi karu ya uske bat ka answer karu ya na karu ye meri personel choice hai. aksar aisa hota hai ki kisi ne meri stammering pe kuch comment kiya aur mujhe bilkul accha nhi laga kya mai use waise hi accept kar sakta hu. Kya mai us time judgemental hue bina rah sakta hu. Kya jis company  me mai job karta hu aur jis situation me bhi mujhe fear  feel hota hai jaise mai network department me jane par mujhe lagta tha jaise more than 100 employee ki najar mere upar hi hai aur mai sar jukha leta tha lekin maine apne mann ke opposite kiya aur daily office me jate hi sabhi logo se hand shake karta hu unka halchal leta hu uske bad apni seat pe jata hu wo mere senior hi kyo na ho. Aisa karne se mere department ke sabhi log mere nam se janane lage hai  aur mujhe fear ya unse bat karne me hesitation bhi nhi ho raha.   mai lunch time me mess me alag alag employee ke sath baith kar lunch kar raha hu aur lunch karte karte unse intraction kar raha hu. Mujhe acche se yad hai ki mai apne college life me kabhi bhi teacher se koi question discuss nhi kiya tha. is time meri traning chal rahi hai aur mai apne doubt clear karne me sabhi senior se help le raha hu. Waise mann daily kahta hai ki abhishek Don’t ask doubt  ghar jakar clear kar lena lekin mujhe apne man ke opposite karna accha lagta hai. sabse acchi  bat hai ki apne apko galti karne ki full freedom  de raha hu. Kyoki mai kisi bhi work ko ab perfectly nhi karna chata. Kyoki mera mann hamesha  se bolta aa raha hai ki tumhe perfect hona hai. nhi to meri image samaj me waise nhi ho payegi  jo samaj ne standard set kiye hai.  lekin sach ye bhi hai ki  meri personal life me wahi log socange jinka jayda interest hoga. Nhi to sabhi apne belief system ,perception , past experience  mai busy hote hai kisi ke pas itna time nhi hota ki wo har pal hamare stammering ko observe kare.  Kyoki humlogo ne ye observe kiya hai ki stammering ke karan humlog ki personality kabhi khul nhi pai humlog samaj , family, friend, boss, ko hamesa change karne ki kosis me apne apko kabhi bhi accept nhi kar paye.  Aur unko change karte karte hamari personality hi change ho gai. Wo mujhe accept kiye ya nhi kiye mujhe nhi pata lekin mai apne apko  apni personality ko kabhi bhi accept nhi kar paya. Yes mai jaisa bhi hu jitna bhi haklata hu apne apko accept karta hu. Kyoki mai haklate hue bhi apne technical skill develop kar sakta hu. Mai haklate hue sabhi logo se intraction kar sakta hu. Mai haklate hue apne hr ko ahg ki book diya hu. Aur apne association ke bare me batya hu.

Finally aise experiment karne pe  sabhi situation me mere pas hamesa 2-3 option aane lage hai ki hame kaise response karna hai.

Mann ke against karne pe confidence aur awerness increase hoti hai. aur hum apne decision emotionally  na lekar ek detach observer ki tarah judgemental  na hote hue accurate decision le rahe hote hai.aur situation ko without attachment  dekh rahe hote hai. stammering se jo confidence , self steem  fluctuate  karta  hai wo bhi balance me aa jata hai agar hum apne mann ke opposite work  karna start kare .

Thanks a lot.

Abhishek kr verma 

9873492722.