November 3, 2012

Practical paths of Acceptance

Dear all,
 
During NC at Coorg, I have spoken and interacted about 'ACCEPTANCE' of  stammering for one hour. I want to share some more ways of acceptance in this group for the benefit of those who had not attended the NC at Coorg.A lot have been talked about acceptance of stammering in this forum and hence here I am going to write about HOW to accept and not WHY to accept stammering.
 
Many PWS have informed that they had accepted their stammering by heart but still they were not improving and further asked what went wrong with them?. Understanding the meaning of ACCEPTANCE under the context of stammering is a complex one.It would take months and years to  understood the real meaning.
 
I joined TISA in the year 2009 and slowly started accepting my stammering.Initially I thought there were only few ways of acceptance and it was easy that I could learn it in a matter of months. But after four years, now I understood that there are 100s & 100s ways of acceptance and it is a life long learning.If we understand one by one, our speech will definitely improve and there is no doubt about it.
 
At my NC speech I started with acceptance of my stammering by informing that I had written a leave letter for attending NC.I am a Chief Engineer and my boss is a Managing director, a senior IAS officer.I have written a leave letter stating that to attend TISA NC at Coorg as Coordinator of Chennai chapter SHG,I required 3 days leave. My MD already knew about my stammering and about Chennai chapter activities.He called me and wished best of luck.I could have got my leave sanctioned citing personal reasons but I reveled the real fact,thereby reduced my fear & shame of stammering.This is one way of acceptance.
 
Then I spoke about problems of telling our name, address, phone no ... etc.Yes... Accept this also. This is one of the properties of stammering.After telling your name with blocks, do not get angry or disappointed yourself. Instead, just think it is one of the properties of stammering and could do nothing about it as of now.If you think like this, you can able to tell your name fairly well in 6 to 9 months time. This is just like two '-'ves makes a '+'.
 
The  above method can be use for taking ticket in trains & buses, ordering food in restaurants and buying goods in a shop
 
We have to talk openly about stammering with our close ones. Myself, Mr.Raja Bhattarcharjee and  2 other PWS brought their wives to the Coorg NC. We not only enjoyed the activities at Coorg but also get rid of fear and shame of stammering from our respective wives. For someone it would take  years to accept his stammering with his wife. So I request while attending SHG meetings, those who are living with wives and parents, pl bring them for atleast one meeting and observe your feelings.
 
During every year on Oct'21st I used to send SMS to 10 different friends stating " Today is  ISAD. Pl convey your best wishes to me". Then, they will call me and asked what is ISAD.I explained about ISAD to them. By this way I get rid of some more fear and shame.
 
Like this, there are so many ways of accepting our stammering. I wish to add that the above said ways are the 'MUST' one for all of us for early acceptance of our stammering and avoiding these means diluting our acceptance.
 
I will write some more ways of acceptance later on.
 
Regards, 
Manimaran

6 comments:

Hemant K-Kumar said...

thank you very much sir for sharing your experience.
whatever you written, are very much valuable & practically possible.
Pleeeeeeease write more on this blog about acceptance - how you applied it in daily life. As you are working on acceptance since 4 years. So that PWS, like me who just now joined TISA or attended 1-2 workshop can be benefited.

Rajesh V said...

Wow good post sir.
Regards.

lalit said...

thanks sir ....we are really fortunate to have guide like you ....

j jasbir singh said...

Once upon a time there was a little boy who stammered. As He grew up , He continued to stammer with pain and guilt, until one day he met TISA and realised it was OK to stammer. After this , His life changed.

I think this is ACCEPTANCE.

paramjit said...

Sir,
very right pointed out the core concept for relieving the pain of hiding the fact and remain in the shield.We should benefit from mutual experiences.As I myself hesitated to accept the fact in front of others and declaring that i stammer.But one day that step is required to move forward.otherwise we remain in that block only and deprive our-self the beauty of life.Thanks a lot
Paramjit Singh
9417000065

sachin said...

Thanks Mani for sharing your thoughts. Acceptance needs a little humility- We dont have that humility and this is why Acceptance seems so difficult. A little suffering in the world makes us realise that we are not that "special" human being we thought we are.. THEN Acceptance becomes easy to practice..And life goes on.