August 30, 2013

Stammering.... TISA.. Revelation.Realisation..Revolution. (from archives)

The time was around July 2011. I had a severe block while talking to my boss in office, which dented my self esteem the best it could in all the three decades i had been stuttering.
 I started checking the internet in the hope that i may get some magic pill which would have been invented by now since I discontinued my three failed speech therapy ventures a decade ago...
I just hit on TISA and joined the yahoo group and kept on reading the mails exchanged by the members and several other posts. My hope was let my see what these guys have to say.
 I never wrote but was always observing the communications. Once I even thought of attending Chennai SHG but somehow it didn't materialise. I'd blame it on my lacklustre approach. I kept reading mails of Sachin ji, Mani ji, JP, Peerbhai and many more.
 All this kept on leading me on the path of acceptance as it coldnt be that I'd press one button inmy brain and I'd accept  my stammering.
In came The Mr. Dinesh the daredevil.. This guy has an attitude of perseverance like an ant. The more I avoided him the more he kept calling me to attend blr SHG meet and attend Coorg conference. That is one decision I regret that i took so much time to take. But I'm happy that sanity prevailed on me and I ventured for this meet which is gonna be etched in my memories till forever.
Just when I met the group at Blr Railway station within say 15 minutes I got a revelation about myself. I had never been comfortable with a new group of people. I always thought as I stammer I cant get along with people easily. But here i saw all the PWS interacting and at ease with each other and I am the cold one as of now. Inside i knew that within 24 hours I'll make friends for life as I was getting positive vibes from all around me but still I was forced to ponder what's wrong with me. 
This small incident stuck me deep inside the heart and made me reale that I am a slow starter in  a group by nature and i should not blame stammering for this aspect of my own being. All along i have been blaming my failures and choices in life on stammering but not again. Stammering has affected my life for sure but let me take it in a Man's stride and be in the driver's seat rather than the other way round.
 I will not blame all my failures and shortcomings on stammering.
Attending the Coorg meet has brought a revolution in my life at least. I feel more confident about my stammering and i believe that all the persons I met and the aura created in Coorg has pressed the switch in the brain which i was slowly slowly doing on my own and was waging a lone battle. The cry of WAR has been sounded in Coorg and the Revolution is gonna get stronger and mightier with each passing breath all of us take.

I owe to everybody I heard and spoke during the days spent in Coorg for becoming my fellow Warrior.

Keep the Faith,

Mukul Dua
(P.S. I did make friends for life.)


Upasana Nayak said...

Nice and honest Description.. and Coorg event was a really success one with the whole new memory and experience...:)
P.S: Dinesh has really an extra-ordinary person and leader i can say... :):)

Satyendra said...

You have got it right, Mukul. Accepting ourselves and accepting others are intricately linked. TISA events and SHGs are based on that. Once acceptance is there- a lot of psychological problems start to melt away- and a new way of looking at life begins to replace it..
Nothing miraculous, just common sense.
Keep sharing..

J P Sunda said...

Yes Mukul, isn't it surprising that just being with 50 other people who stammer for 3 days can start the healing process. and thanks a lot for bringing Bhavya along..Your talk was very encouraging for young people about being in relationship when you stammer

Mukul Dua said...

thank you all for the feedback. Love u

Dinesh said...

I have scratched my head several times over acceptance.
Giving my own notions to it most of the time.

Acceptance can never be understood intellectually.
I'm fortunate that I met this wonderful guy called JP and
observed him for 3 days.

For me, he is Acceptance personified. Every bit of his existence oozes acceptance. Finally, I did see, understand and felt Acceptance.
Thanks to all of you and special thanks to JP.

Coming to Mukul Bhaiyya,
He talks DIRECT.. ek dum zinda DIL insaan.
Aur bhai, aapke gaali me bhi pyaar jhalak tha hai :-)

Aapke aur bhabhi Ji k jodi k saamne to SRK aur Kajol ki Jodi bhi fiki padthi hai !! :-), please pass my regards to bhabhi ji..

The realisation aspect of yours has hit a chord with me..
We have made stammering as scape goat for all our other problems..

Everything is very well expressed.. you are a wonderful writer..

Rajesh, Hyderabad said...

@Mukul Bro - Wow nicely written and your final words" i did make friends for life" are the sweetest ones. TISA builds relations for lifetime and cares for all of us. Wow isn't the Awesome one.


jasbir singh said...

Welcome Mukul in TISA family.Now you need not regret anymore for having not made friends for life.
All the Best.

Amitsingh Kushwah said...