April 27, 2012

We do have FRIENDS!

Received this email from a reader:
"I do not stammer but have friends who do and have always been aware of an acute sense of discomfort and helplessness as to what can i do to help them overcome it especially at that moment when they just get stuck with a word because i can see the pain and embarassment in their eyes.  Undoubtedly They are talented people but most importantly i care deeply for them. What can i do? Arent there remedies medical, alternative.. Please suggest

I also want to reiterate thrpugh your blog that though I do not and may never know how stammerers feel but there are majority of us who do not ridicule or make fun of them, they NEED to believe that. They are just a wee bit different :) like myself who wears spectacles because i have a weak eyesight. Thats all!

Keep up the good work!


Here is what TISA wrote as reply:
Thank you Aradhika, for your sincerity, open-ness, empathy and above all, concern. Yes, you are right- stammering and many other things should just be viewed in a broad context of diversity among humans. But not all humans are at the same level of consciousness, as you are, unfortunately. So, quite often, the way we look or function, gets associated with our inner worth. The problem gets further compounded when a stammerer himself starts believing that! (- that he or she is any less of a human being just because of the manner of talking..). THIS is the ultimate tragedy.

But TISA, with the help of people like you is changing all that- slowly but certainly. You may not believe it but you can do a LOT of things to help us:

1. Keep writing such emails and notes and posts on our blog.. Tell us that for every one person who mocks us, there are 100 like you who do not do so and wish to treat us just like anyone else..

2. Whenever there is a TISA event in vicinity, join us and share your HONEST feedback and feelings..

3. Practical tips: when you talk to a stammerer, these four things can be very helpful.
- Maintain normal eye contact even when s/he is having lot of difficulties.
- Dont interrupt / interject. Dont guess or complete their words. Let them take their time.
- Slow your own speed of speech a little bit
- Ask for clarification if needed (dont just nod- yes yes- without having understood!).

Can I have your permission to publish your email on our blog?
Thanks once again!
Feel free to get back if you have any more questions..
sachin for TISA


Anonymous said...

Very touching!
I wish many more such friends will go PUBLIC with their opinion and stand..
TISA should become an outward looking movement..instead of talking to itself all the time..

vinay said...

Sachin Sir, plz permit me to add articles in this Blog. My email ID is:

J P Sunda said...

Dear Vinay,
As per our editorial policy, the first post has to be introductory, minimum 1000 words, about author's own TRUE experiences about stammering and a self-photo and a 5 minute stammering video too. If you can do this and send me the content, I will post it on your behalf. After 3 posts from you, I can send you author invitation to the blog. Can you do it ?

vinay said...

Ohh... I will take sometime to understand this complicated editorial policy.. till then, I'll be a reader of this blog.

J P Sunda said...

Sounds familiar to me! It was only such friends in school that made life fun and worthwhile for me! Thanks Aradhika for writing to TISA. BTW we are having our national get together this year, do drop with your friend. It will be worth your time

J P Sunda said...

@Vinay - there is nothing complicated. Let me write it down again for u :

1. Write an introductory post about your experiences with stammering (1000 words)
2. Attach your photo to the post.
3. Record a 5 minute video

Send the above to me and I will post it and will grant you the author rights. I guess you want the author rights to post on the blog, right ? so why this hesitation now ?

Mohit kumar said...

Yes TISA has really given us this awesome platform, where we can sought out this problem with the help of each other.
Sachin sir you have given the right advice to non-stammers, while talking with stammers.
we pray to non-stammer that please co-operate with us. We are also a human, not a kidding materials.

Er. Umesh said...

Thanks Aradhika..support of non-pws to a stammerer plays vital role in recovery

Ashish Agarwal said...

Again i confirmed my own belief that most of people around us want us to feel NORMAL...they want to cooperate with us...i can imagine the sad faces of girls/ladies, full of sympathy when they used to saw me struggling hard with my stammering...IT IS US WHO HAVE TO BELIEVE IT AND LIVE A BETTER LIFE!!!