April 3, 2011

I m OK, U r OK.

A very popular psychology book, promoted the understanding of how we view ourselves and the world- and how these basic concepts warps our interactions with others as we grow up. "I am not okay, you are not okay" will give rise to intense negativity and sociopathy. "I am okay, you are not okay" gives rise to superiority complex and disdain for the world.

Many of us PWS, suffer from "I am not okay, you are okay." As a result, whenever a technique or therapy or gadget, stops working for us- we tend to blame ourselves, not the other party: May be I did not practice medium lengthening technique when I should have. May be I am not calm enough therefore it is not working. There must be something wrong with me..

Such reasoning does not help but still we indulge in it no end. Read this post about how parents are systematically made to feel guilty about the dis-fluency of their child by the therapist, society and the scientists. Therapists is under pressure to prove that she/he is earning the money they are charging the parents. People promoting a therapy, are under pressure: since medical science (and technology) can fix everything, why cant it fix stammering? There has got to be a way.. Parents too are under pressure, since "Experts" have told them that if they work hard enough and spend sufficient money, their child's stammering can be 'fixed'.

The child too is under pressure- he wants to please his therapist, his parents. But pressure and great expectations only make his stammering worse. And unlike others, the child cant blame others; he cant pass the buck..

Interestingly, no one in this cycle, will talk about educating the society to develop more acceptance for the act of stammering and for the stammering child..

2 comments:

WindStorm said...

Another great post exposing the inner sides of PWS. Almost all PWS can related themselves with this write up.
But sad thing is despite of having to know such a vast knowledge, when it comes to implementation, it is really damn hard. Yes, I admit it.
G
Miles to go before I sleep. Miles to go before I sleep. :)
Lots of homework to be done on this 'stammering and its aftermath' domain.

Thanks to Dr.Sachin

J P Sunda said...

I think Sachin, it is "natural" tendency where we c people through our minds with a lot of labels attached to them and all the while we seem to miss the aliveness in them!! Be it a pws or a person who may be perfect in every sense, we seem to c them as "objects". Its a pitty but so true!! God help us break out of our minds!!