More pics from Chennai..

Briefly: 1. Mr Hassanand and other SHG members having a discussion over snacks
2, 3. Mr Hassanand and Mr Manimaran addressing the meeting on 20th Feb 2010, on first anniversary of Chennai SHG.
4. Vishal and sachin interacting with reporter from The Hindu.
5. In front of Mahabalipuram temple: Mr Karunyamurti (Keith and Sachin had tough time with his name!), Mr Francin, Keith, sachin and Mani (from left to right).
It was a time to remember that in spite of difficulties, Chennai group has consistently conducted self help meetings for one complete year- all, thanks to selflessness of the group members, led by Mr Manimaran. The results of their hard work was visible in the way every member, (many quite young and a girl too) came to the dias and spoke very well, one after another.
If all these young people had tried traditional therapy- chances are, they would have spent a lot of money and would not have become part of a national level support network. Certainly, they would not have had the chance to listen to and meet Mr Keith Boss, who demonstrated that you can be an effective communicator WITH your stammer. I hope and pray, that Cognizant Cares will take the process forward, in spite of difficulties and will replicate the model of self help among all its units.
For me (sachin) these were the best three days in my life..!

Herbertpur SHG meet

Pramendra, Pawan, Parmanand, sachin and Dr Marinsha met in the Anugrah hall from 3 to 6 pm. We had many rounds of brief presentations- intro- and feedback. We read newspaper cuttings- then shared about it. Then, we summarised the news in one line. PWS can sometime be a little long winded. But capacity to summarise large matter in a succinct line can often be important in this age of chronic shortage of time. Another round was one line definitions- everyone was given a technical topic/ word and we had to give one line definitions. Here Pramendra brought up his concern that in this process, we are being unethical- we are misrepresenting facts.. Then, we discussed the concept of need based communication: we must give priority to listener's need for information, her/his style and preferences- over our need to communicate, over our standards of technical/ linguistic perfection.
Then, we all gave one piece of idea to Dr Marinsha, to keep in mind when talking to a PWS. Before winding up, we asked her to give her honest opinion as a non-stammerer: do people get uncomfortable when listening to a PWS? Her answer was significant: I will be quite comfortable if that person is comfortable with his or her stammering. After she left, we four talked about how to become comfortable with our stammering.. Acceptance was one step (writing a blog eg.). Another was using a bounce on purpose in every sentence. With a bounce, we announce that I stammer and I am fine with it.
We all thanked Dr Marinsha, a Family Physician, for her time, interest and candid feedback.

Goa SHG Meet on 28.02.10

Toady due to nonavailabilty Harish could not come.Praksh & i meet at Pilar church for the same at 9.30AM.
I gave him complete information of our Pune meet with Kieth.i also told him about the technic & speaking tools which we have discussed in brief.
It started well & then we practiced prolognation & bouncing technic.
We were also discussed about the new methods as to how we can do better during communication.
we tried to do meditation but could not succeed cos the more we try to concentrate,the more we got distracted by the unwanted thoughts.
But we are going to learn after practicing it.
I told Harish about belly breathing.We also tried it.
Harish told me that he now feels more stammering while speaking with family member.
I told him its a temporory phase.Every body in some point of time feel th esame.Just go relax & keep practising.& start communicating.

After meet we left for the day at 11.35AM from Pilar.

Bangalore SHG meeting on 21-Feb-2010

The meeting on 21-Feb-2010 was attended by Amith, Pramod and Vivek. A reporter from the magazine ‘Time out’ attended the meeting and there was a discussion of more than one hour. The article will be published in 2 or 3 weeks. The reporter left after taking some photographs.

After this the participants went for a walk and discussed about various topics.

Some more pics- from Chennai

Last day at Herbertpur

Keith gave a "Anthony Robbins hug" to Marian. They sat in the garden and exchanged notes. Mrs Jain gave us breakfast a little later in her beautiful house. Then, we drove off to Dehradun and had a brief meeting with Cyril ji. Both Cyril and Keith were unanimous that donor need a lot of "education"!! It is nice to hear someone say loud and clear what has been your gut feeling for a long time..
Then, some last minute marketing for relatives back home; Finally, we were just in time to meet Mr Brijnath and Mr B C Joshi at Doon library. It was a brief but intense interaction with two academics, tecahers and sensitive human beings: we have asked them to help us find a PWS (or anyone with time and interest) to help us start a self help group in Dehradun for people who stammer.
An "Anthony Robbins hug" and we parted as Shatabdi inched out of Dehradun. Nitin will be receiving Keith in Delhi and sending him onwards to IG Airport in Delhi very kindly.
Keith's visit gave us another occasion to emphasise that stammering does matter to us (why else would this Englishman come from UK and give talk after talk in four cities in India, almost non-stop for two weeks?)..
His visit also gave us a chance to meet many of us, who had been just an email ID or a screen name for one another. It also gave a fledgling "organisation" a chance to coordinate, network, synchronise complex events across cities, weekdays and weekends, regions- all through volunteers. We learned to deal with media too. We learned to trust each other, support each other. We learned to get out of our 'SHG mode' and talk to the big world outside. There are many more miles to go, before one could rest, I guess- but let us acknowledge that collectively we, the TISA, have achieved something worthwhile, something we could be proud of.
Thanks to all of you, in TISA family and Keith.

Pics: Day 1 at Vikasnagar

Group photo: Self help group at Herbertpur. Pawan discussing some issue with Keith. Mr Jain wrapping a shawl around Keith, in Indian tradition.

More pics: Vikasnagar- Day 1

Some young participants.. Keith receives a bouquet from Amaan's mom.

Day 1 at Vikasnagar: Pics

Some participants and parents sharing their thoughts in Anugrah



Rev. Moses sharing his thoughts on stammering.

School where the 'trouble' begins!

Keith explaining how communication is different from mere fluency..

A group of teachers in Sapience School.

Second day at Vikasnagar

24th feb 2010: In the morning today, we went to Assan lake- chatted, had a little breakfast and then reached Aurobindo Ghosh Inter College in Dak Patthar; Principal had kindly given us one hour to address the teachers: teachers can set up enduring patterns and values in the child, especially in a child who is a "little different". Since it was a Hindi medium school and message so important- Keith spoke and sachin interpreted after every 1-2 sentences. There were about 30 teachers, along with the young enthusiastic principal. We discussed what all teachers could do at no extra cost in terms of time or money; how they could help a CWS get ready for the adult life etc.

Later, after lunch, we went to Dakpatthar degree college. It is also a teachers training institution. We addressed a group of teachers and students. Many questions came form a Biology lecturer: what is the "biology" behind stammering? We discussed briefly- failing mechanism of timing cue, Dopamine, medial and lateral pathways etc etc. Another question was: was stammering a source of 'significant' suffering? We shared random cases where some young individuals were driven even to suicide. But of course there are many 'lesser', yet all the same troublesome problems caused by stammering. A child at present does not have a language to express his suffering- and therefore a lot remains unsaid. Certainly not 'respectable' 'accessible' language to share his speech difficulties.

Later, we did some marketing. Mr Jain, a TISA patron, showed us how tea is processed, packed in his shop in Vikasnagar. The shop had a nice aroma of tea leaves! He presented some quality green leaves to Keith. I guess, Keith will be using it to have a 'British' high tea on a lazy afternoon, one of these days, on return? right Keith? Anyway, he deserves a lot of lazing around and high teas after having worked with TISA non-stop and extremely hard for two weeks, as only PWS are capable of.

Keith in Doon valley

Keith arrived in Herbertpur on 22nd Feb, late afternoon. Surendra, Amaan, Vineet arrived to see him in the evening. Next morning, we started with Sapience school- a prestigious English medium school of this region. We addressed about 40 teachers. Gave them some handouts and contact details. Then, lunch at SMTA with Ruben, Maggi and Nishant. Next stop of our "road show" was St Mary's Convent. About fifty teachers listened attentively to Keith about the role teachers can play in helping a child who stammers. Then, a well deserved cup of green tea at Mrs Jain's place. Mr Jain is a leading industrialist of the area and is involved with tea industry.

Our last stop was: Anugrah at 4 pm. Keith was welcomed by Dr Daniel (Med. Suptdt of the hospital) and Rev Moses. Some parents, many children and our SHG members were there. Keith spoke about his own journey- major mile stones; and why and how we all have to find our own ways. Rev. Moses also spoke about how his faith helped him to overcome his difficulties with speech as a young man. Then, parents shared their thoughts and concerns. SHG members came up and spoke- some sang too! Amaan's mother offered Keith a bouquet and Mr & Mrs Jain presented Keith a shawl in Indian fashion. By 6.30 pm, we finished- tired but happy to see that people are talking about stammering and there is an acceptance for the diversity we all have. (you will see pics soon)

Another one leaps..

Another member of our tribe has leapt into the darkness- and has landed safely on her two feet. Let us congratulate her:
http://shatteringtheshackles.blogspot.com

Dont forget to leave comments..

A take by non-stammering friend..

"Dear Friends

Although i don't stammer, but i can understand the problems associated with it, It's so nice to see that You people have formed this active association and its meeting regularly. I would just want to say that Stammering should not come in your way as a hurdle and block your creativity ..Look at my friend Harish ..he is a wonderful writer and I love to read each and every word that he pens down...If Stammering was so strong as to stop him or his great writings then we all would have missed our own Chetan Bhagat and his creativity. So Friends All of you are very important to Us and remember one thing there is nothing i repeat nothing that is lacking in you people you can deliver the same output as us and can contribute to the society and bring happiness in the life of others jus
Resha Naik: just like all of us."

Chennai Anniversary

Feb 20th, 2010: YWCA, Chennai. Mini Conference hall. About 35 participants.
We started with some video clips on stammering, then Unspeakable. Sachin requested Raja and Sabarish to tell the audience briefly about the movie before screening it. By 4 pm, everyone had arrived- the media and all the SHG members, three person from Cognizant and others- Mr Hasanand, Vishal, Francin, Chittibabu, Sabarish and many others.

Sachin, Keith, Mani set the tone- it is the first anniversary of Chennai Self hep group! Many people came - received the benefit and moved on in life; Many have continued to attend and now, help others. A lot of ground has been covered in last one year. Many participants talked about this. Thereafter, EVERYONE was given a chance to come and share their thoughts. Some young men, who ran out of thoughts (what to say, beyond name?) sang a few lines! Last event- we watched "tere mere beech" interview of Rithik Roshan. What this famous actor has done is a role model of "acceptance" for many of us. Then, a group photo- dinner and we dispersed. We had to get up early next morning to go to Mahabalipuram.

PS: A dear young lady, wife of a SHG member spoke very nicely about the positive changes she had observed in her husband. God bless her! The lady reporter from the local English daily also asked some pertinent questions.

Sakaal times features Keith

TISA conference in Pune is covered by a Pune English daily (Sakaal times) on 12th feb 2010. The graphic was received through courtesy of Goa SHG, which participated in the conference.

Cognizant Truly cares..

We four marched into Cognizant with some trepidations...
We were going to make a presentation about "stammering in workplace", in one of the biggest IT companies in India. Sachin had literally tricked Francin into coming and talking. Vishal, an old hand was there as back up support. About forty participants gathered. So, we began with a video clip 'Sssstutter', then sachin shared his "secret life" and the lessons to be learnt from it. Next Keith talked about how a PWS in denial is short-changing himself and his employer. His or her complete potential is not coming forward.

Next Vishal shared about Chennai Self help group, its activities and how it brought a big change in his own life. In this case, 'help was literally just a phone call away'. But it took a superhuman courage to make that phone call. Subsequent journey was easy in comparison. Francin Prabhu also talked about issue of stammering in IT workplace- how it affects our day to day work (overseas call for example), potential for more challenging roles. A question answer session followed. Many people in audience asked deeply relevant questions. There were women participants and one of them did have a question- after some encouragement. A small beginning.

We have suggested that if there are enough participants, Cognizant Cares should consider starting a Self Help group on their own campus; if not, the inidividuals could join the Chennai SHG, which meets at YWCA fortnightly. We also invited the participants to the Sunday conference at YWCA (20th Feb.), beginning 3 pm. The cooperation of Cognizant HR wing was excellent. TISA thanks Raja for organizing everything extremely well (even if remotely).

Meeting Keith : The Pune Odyssey

After a lot of yes and no… I and Santosh, finally planned our trip to Pune to meet Keith Boss. Sceptic about getting leaves from the workplace, Santosh suggested a very good way to do so – Just tell the boss frankly that we are going to work on our stammer. It really worked wonders! Both of us were able to get leaves, and off we were heading to – Destination Pune!

We both discussed a lot of things on our way to Pune. Both of us were eager and very much looking forward to what was in store for us during the next two days…

Amidst the bomb scares and security concerns, we walked on the streets of Pune on the wee hours of Tuesday, 16th Feb. Manohar was the first of the Pune SHG members we met. He visited us in our room. He was very amicable, had a smiling face, and talked as good as he could write. But he was just one of the many more of the enthusiastic lot that we met a little later.

We were at the venue by 1.20 pm. We met some more of the Pune-kars waiting at the Venue – Pankaj, Amit, Suraj, Vinay and Vipin. We introduced ourselves with everybody. The enthusiasm that everybody showed was awesome. Vinay had come with a bunch of pamphlets which he stuck on the walls of the premises. The build-up to the event was getting better and better with the kind of enthusiasm and zeal the Pune SHG showed.

JP and Mr. Keith Boss finally showed up at the venue. With a smiling face, Keith greeted us all. A reported from the press was also waiting for the proceedings to start. Keith didn’t waste any more time, and promptly got started.

Day 1:

“I have impaired eye-sight – I wear glasses, I have impaired hips – I’ve had hip replacements four times, and at times I have an impaired speech – I stammer. But there are lots of other things about me that make me Keith Boss!” That’s how he introduced himself. That itself was an inspiring way to kick of the meet.

Keith started by talking about what is stammering and it’s causes. He strongly believed stammering is hereditary. He said that researchers have lately identified two genes that lead to stammering. Having the genes doesn’t mean that you will stammer, but it certainly makes you vulnerable, if something triggers it. He also spoke about the role of parents into developing stammering. He opines that unintentional interruptions while speaking to a stammering child, may pose serious challenges to the child at his learning stage. The struggle to make himself heard can make him talk without pauses, which can lead to stutter.

Keith then spoke about the role of society. He said that Stammerers are often underused by their employers. He also said that, PWS themselves may also end up refraining from contributing as much as they can because of their stammer. “You all are Indian Assets” he said.

He further said that no employer owes us a job. We have to make our own living. He gave various tips to be taken care during the interviews:
- Have a strong Body Language
- Be mentally controlled of yourself
- Have a list of all the things that you did despite your stammer. If asked about your stammer, talk about all those things which you did. “Yes, I have stammer, but I did this… and that…”

Keith then gave a 4-step route to get started on the way to recovery:
- Have a reason to change.
- Accept it’s alright for the people to hear you stammer.
- Know about the speaking tools (bouncing, prolonging etc). Keep them in your kitty.
- Practice talking with the speaking tools with the real world.

“Dictate yourself that you can do it” – is the kind of attitude we PWS should have, says Keith.

Later in the evening, we went to a coffee shop. Over a cup of a brilliant cappuccino, we again had a very good exercise. Keith told us the significance of talking by using techniques. We then had a round of each one of us talking in our techniques. Keith gave a feedback to each and everybody of us about how we talked. It was a round where we all had a lot to learn.

Day 2:

On day 2, we had some more faces joining from Pune SHG. Also joining us were Akash Acharya, and his Mother from Surat. The day started by discussing the role of SLPs and their need.

Keith says self-help movements should work closely with SLPs. He says SLPs slowly learn about self-help. He believes that SLPs are mostly the first option for many parents and teachers. Hence they are a very important part. Role of the Self-help should be to teach and guide the SLPs. A self-help movement should come forward and teach SLPs about the things they need to do. A self-help movement should put up a strong stand to the SLPs.

We all then discussed about the role of SHGs in self help movements. Keith gave loads of ideas and things that are expected from an SHG. Keith believes an SHG should:
- Instil communication skills
- Leadership Skills
- Have an agenda
- Have roles (like Meeting co-ordinator, the Educator, etc)
- Create interest. Have outings, vocalize yourself, be a child.
- Event management. Organize events, or help people with other disabilities.

A member from Pune SHG, Mr. Sanjit Khanoja, also said that an SHG should cater to the emotional aspects of stammering.

The group was then heading towards a Rajastani Resort in the outskirts of the city. We couldn’t accompany them there, as we had to catch the bus back to Goa.

What we take back
In those two short days, there was a lot to learn. As we were heading back to Goa, we were going back as a different person. We have taken loads and loads of lessons while we return to our homes.

We learnt that we should always talk speaking with techniques. This creates good speaking memories, which we should think of at bad times. This will help us in bouncing back.

We also learnt the “Philosophy of Positivity”, which Keith defines as, “Converting your negative thoughts to positive ones.

Another important thing we learned was the importance and necessity of “Avoiding the Avoidance”.

We learned that there are 2 styles of speaking – Medial and Lateral. One should practice speaking in the lateral style, in order to start melting the stammering ice-berg, advices Keith.

He sometimes bounced, sometimes prolonged and sometimes stammered. But he always loved talking. Along with the loads of knowledge that Keith offered, I also had a pleasure to meet Mr. Akash Acharya and his Mother who had come all the way from Surat. He is one of the core-members of TISA, and I was glad about my first meeting with a core-member of TISA. There was a lot to learn from Mr. Akash too. We discussed a lot about stammering and talking to him and his mother was very nice and pleasing.

Finally, we take back to Goa, some more friends in the stammering fraternity – The Pune SHG members – Jai Prakash, Manohar, Vinay, Vipin, Amit, Suraj, Bhaskar, Nitin, Sanjit, Pankaj (I hope I haven’t missed any name). Guys, you all rock! Keep up the spirit.

Santosh, thanks for motivating me to attend this meeting by talking frankly at the workplace, and for being there throughout the journey as a caring elder brother.

The Pune odyssey was a life time experience and one of its kind. My sincere thanks to TISA, Dr. Sachin and everybody associated with organising this event. It has done a ton of good for the PWS.

Keith in Pune

The day was 15th Feb 2010, and time was around 7:30 PM, when I first saw a man sitting in the hotel room along with Pankaj who went to receive him. As soon as I entered the room, the seventy something gentleman made an effort to get up from his relaxed posture, bent towards me and gave a firm handshake. That is when I knew that this man is on a mission and a NO non-sense person. Yes, he was none other than the charming young man, Keith Boss.

After exchanging pleasantries, we got to the business, ie: talking about stammering. Soon we were joined by few other folks, and the room was nothing less than a congregation of stammerers. We left together for a supper nearby. All along, the discussion was gripping.

Next day: 16th Feb, Jai Prakash (J.P.) had planned for Keith visit within his company premises, where the strength surprisingly turned out quite impressive. I am sure Keith must have provided some invaluable inputs for the eager audience there. In the meantime, we had some more visitors from Goa, Harish and Santosh. I went to the hotel to greet them and explained them the venue location for the meeting with Keith.
Keith finished his lunch in the same company and later joined others at the Desai hall at 1:15 PM. At the meeting, we had a reporter as well who was asking some very curious questions. Keith patiently answered all his questions. Reporter left early after inquiring his quota of questions. Later we had Keith all for ourselves. Here he took a piece of paper and read a poem wrote by a stammerer who was a cop, which was inspirational, to say the least. Keith later expressed his desire for a dark coffee sans milk and sugar. We could think of only one place nearby: Barista, MG Road. We decided to head straight there. This was turning out to be an adventure ride, jostling our way through the traffic. That said: it was fun. I did hear about “a lot can happen over coffee”, which did actually happen. The cappuccino coffee was not that great, but the discussion we had there and the aesthetics of the place pretty much made up for that grumble. Keith, however, seemed to enjoy each sip of the black coffee, which left him craving for more at the end. In the meantime, that evening we had Akash from Surat, joined us, along with his mother. I had to leave the place for office to do some pending work.

Later that night, I had the pleasure to meet Akash and his mother, and felt glad. Next day Keith again spent with J.P.'s company and gave speeches. The meeting for general public started little late, thanks to few communication lapses. I managed to seek my manager’s permission and left office early to attend Keith’s session. By the time I rushed to the venue, it was already 4:45 PM. apparently; I asked questions that made few in the audience laugh their arse out. Precisely, I asked about the effect of stammering gene, and how can it be activated? Is it possible that this gene activates when the person meets with a bloody accident in very young age, which is what had happened in my case? To this Keith gave his (late) wife’s example, when she was knocked off by a car on the curb, where they were standing. This led her to develop an ovarian cancer. This surprised us all, and we were left wondering what correlation an accident and ovarian cancer might have. Later, Harish stumped us all by his witty and courageous poem which he himself wrote. It was about the feelings of a bird that looks and sings differently from other birds, asking for recognition among its creed. Everybody was listening to his poem with rapt attention, trying to relate their stories with that of the bird. By the time Harish finished, everybody was visibly moved and acknowledged his attempt with a thunderous applause. I satiated my curiosity by asking Keith about the effect of stammering on dating scene, how much is it going to hamper our chances. I asked whether or not to disclose stammering to the would-be potential brides. To which Keith answered in a way as to indicate that honesty is still the best policy. Later we dispersed with a group photograph, wishing each other good luck, hoping to bump into each other sooner or later. I along with J.P., Akash and his mother, accompanied Keith to Chowki Dhaani, a rajasthani theme spot, to spend rest of the evening. Along the way we packed a gift for Keith as well.

Theme village had its own charm. I am sure Keith liked it. He got his head massage there, and later looked visibly relieved of stress. In an attempt to start an interesting topic, I blurted out to tell us Keith’s love story, to which he promptly agreed. I learnt few dating techniques and attitudes that would go a long way to make me a better stag. I also happen to ask him about belly breathing to which he replied that: when a child is born, he breathes through his belly, but as he grows, he develops a bad habit of breathing superficially and not letting the air through nostrils reach the belly. Belly breathing is helpful for many reasons viz: help purify the blood, which means a rich supply of oxygen helps kill germs in the blood, relaxes the upper body including the vocal chords, lower jaw and shoulders. Consequently, belly breathing is what stammerers need the most.

We came back to the hotel room where we talked for some more time. Keith tried downloading a meditation audio track onto J.P. laptop but thanks to the unavailability of iTunes, he was unsuccessful. J.P. wished to hug Keith while parting, to which Keith was most, pleased to oblige. Later, he turned to me and asked if I wish to hug him as well, as if he understood that I am being left out. I did not have a choice but to say “ok”, fearing that I could be smothered. However, that “jaadu ki jhappi” felt to be different. There was this special positive energy radiating from his heart, the warmth that I could feel. Never before did I feel this brotherhood and fraternity. I held him tight for some more time, just like a kid holds on to his father before leaving. That was one melodramatic moment; I quickly regained my composure and wished him good night. Before leaving, we made sure that Keith’s travel tickets and transport arrangements are in place. He saw us off with a broad grin and cheerful eyes.

Surely, our day was made. God bless Keith, TISA !

Boss is here in Delhi!

Some pics from Delhi Conference on 14th Feb- thanks to Gaurav Trivedi! You can see the 'intensity' in some pics.. You can also see what Keith is speaking out for! He almost did a 'Salman act'.. (=taking the shirt off!). But on the whole it was a wonderful session. Lot of discussion. Many people shared their thoughts. There were issues to which" we had no easy solutions.

Like, what could be "reasonable accommodation" for PWS during interviews? When should one talk about stammering in an interview situation? should one do it at all? Should HR managers/ interviewers not learn a little bit more about human diversity? and more open to other assets they may be getting if not fleunt communication, from a PWS, a prospective employee? Are there ANY jobs/ profession which ANY human being (including PWS) not ASPIRE to? Who sets the limits? we or they? Many of us spoke with great passion. Many recalled old pain. Many were surprised that stammering meant so much to someone. Keith steered the discussion safely to good common sense and healthy optimism.

About thirty participants came. A parent with a young child. Two SLPs. Many young faces- who were just an Email ID so far.. Overall a useful and memorable time. This is just a brief- proper report is expected soon from delhi group on stammer.in

Video is up!

TISA wishes to sincerely thank Livemint (HT) for helping us promote understanding of our cause. FFFriends, the video is up.
http://www.livemint.com/stammering.htm

Bangalore SHG meeting on 14-Feb-2010

Written by: Tanoy Battacharjee

It was again a pleasant morning at Bangalore with the scent of love in the air. I told my friends that I would be going to Cubbon Park on Valentine’s Day morning for a meet, but they doubted my authenticity. Anyway, everyone reached on time as we had a meet planned with one of the journalists from a leading newspaper. She asked about how we got together, what the social problems associated with stammering were, what activities were done in SHG, how things had changed since the first meet etc. She was actually writing an article about how internet helps people with social problems to come together and share their experience.

In the mean time, Amith gave an interview for DD channel about how love had changed his life. They were looking for someone to talk about Valentine’s Day and its importance in their life. So Amith thought he would talk about it as he had love marriage. It was about 20sec. He spoke well.

The journalist went at noon and we started our basic SHG activities of deep breathing exercise and auto-suggestion. We continued with our short intro as one new member Vivek joined. Then, we dispersed by 1.00am.

Attendance: Tanoy, Amith, Karthik (Drama), Karthik, Vivek and Vinay.
Activity: Deep breathing exercise, auto-suggestion and brief intro.

K-K-Keith in Pune

Please find below the schedule for Keith's Pune Visit:

16^th Feb 2009

1 p.m. – 5 p.m. – Awareness session on stammering covering: what is stammering?, Causes and Cure? Role of parents, teachers and society in general.

5 p.m. – 7 p.m. – Question Answer session.

17^th Feb 2009

1 p.m. – 5 p.m. - Role of self help, self help groups and Speech Language Pathologists , Recovery process and Motivation.

5 p.m. – 7 p.m. – Question Answer session.

Venue:
Senior citizen’s hall (also known as Desai Hall)
Opposite Reliance web world,
Dhole Patil Road, Near Pune Railway Station
Pune

Contacts:
Manohar Mikkili: 9881255051 mikkilimanohar@gmail.com This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Jai Prakash Sunda: 8149106117 jaiprakashsunda@gmail.com

Please register in advance to avoid any inconvenience. This is a free workshop.

Anup, the reporter from Delhi

We met Keith boss and Dr. Sachin during an informal meeting at YMCA on 13^th Feb 2010. We were 4 people Keith, Dr. Sachin, Deepak and myself and we talked for around 2 hours. We discussed a lot of things and in-between we got some of the important answers. I have marked Question and Answers as (Q) and (A) below:

Keith told us that he hails from a place liverpool in UK. Throughout his life he did not accepted stammering till year 2006. After his realization in 2006, he considers himself to be born again. He jokingly says that he is 5 years old now.

I raised a point that many stamerrers including myself have a feeling of guilt before and after stammering (Q) how to avoid guilt due to stammering (A) Keith replied, just accept your stammering. In order to accept it, start thinking more and more about your positive qualities. Make a detailed list of all the good things you have e.g. qualification, parents, health, vehicles, behavioral qualities like compassion, friendly etc. And project these qualities on to your conscious mind daily for 21 days, your subconscious mind will think that this is what you want and it will create it for you. Keith explained, similar psychology works when we project negative feeling of stammering on to conscious mind which gets reflected in subconscious mind. Dr. Sachin said voluntarily stuttering is very helpful in accepting stammering, and he himself used it and it’s very effective.

I asked (Q) how I will know that I have accepted my stammering (A) Keith replied, when u will accept stammering, u will not feel guilt or ashamed in talking about your stammering to anybody. The degree of acceptance of stammering is directly proportional to the number of people you are comfortable talking or discussing about your stammering.

(Q) What should one do to reduce stammering? (A) Keith said, it is not important to reduce your stammering rather we should increase our communication. Communication is very important and he himself is working of enhancing his communication, it is 55% body language, 38% Tone and just 7% speech, so concentrate on other things as well.

I commented that Keith has very clear ideas and never confused in his thoughts, (Q) how does Keith gets clarity of thoughts (A) Keith replied, he does belly breathing whenever he gets time; it keeps him relaxed all the time. Moreover, he daily does meditation, just before sleeping and just after wakeup in the morning, it keeps him calm.

It was really great meeting these people. Now, I have a lot of new things to work on.

Kolkata SHG

Kushal Batabyal : 8981876099 , batabyal.kushal[at]gmail.com

Meeting Keith in Delhi

I met Keith in Delhi today. We went to Akshardham temple. We talked about a variety of things- stammering ofcourse-but not limited to it. Then, we had lunch at Wimpy in CP. Deepak Sanothra joined us. We talked and talked. Keith is very good at providing alternative readings of the given situation. Lateral thinking skills. This is very much needed to guide an evolving movement dealing with an issue which is difficult to undersatnd- even for people who have dealt with it all their life. He shared his experinces and insights from Toastmaster and from his days of regular 9-5 job in UK.

Pune SHG meeting: 7 Feb 2010

Hi All,

we all met once again on 7 Feb 2010. I was late to the meeting, thanks to JP who was to be picked up from a point :) (@JP, no offense !) By the time we reached, meeting had already started. The strength of the meeting turned out to be an impressive Seven, with a new member Mr. PM, who works for Autodesk [my adversary :o(]

This time, the SHG meeting was altogether a different ballgame. JP took charge immediately and started giving us insights and wisdom that he possibly would have learnt at Samagra, Dehradun. He then directed us to practise voluntarily stuttering in different styles. Each style had its own charm and challenge. then we went on to play the game called "naani paani" which proved to be fun and some exercise (mind you, i was the winner of this contest). Later we discussed about the member's availability for the Keith's visit, since the days being a week days. Most of us agreed to take at least a half day and make it to the meeting. After the end of the session, we all had kacchi dabeli with cheese (Indian hotdog), which all of us relished. Myself and JP had ordered one more since we were starving for some reason. At this juncture, we started talking to the younger people of the group about the challenges faced by them in the interviews. I am sure our advice must have helped a least bit to them.

Later that evening, JP asked me to come along for a movie Avatar. Initially I was hesitant since i already watched it once. However, after a little coaxing by JP, i agreed, and we headed straight to INOX, and bought two tickets for Avatar (3D). All along, we discussed about the Self Help, Stammering attitudes, and Life in general, with a straw in the mouth sipping chilled Fanta.

Avatar's ground breaking visuals and sound left us speechless, which i think is fantabulous. We both were immensely satisfied with our investment. The odyssey to Pandora left us hungry and we decided to head to Blue Nile restaurant, where we ordered a nice chicken biryani and a pomfret fish tandoori. we gorged on the food without seeing each other's face for first few minutes. That was a real sumptuous meal we in a long time :o) I am sure JP would disagree a least bit !

In the larger interest of the next generation..

Hey fffriends, Live mint of Hindustan Times has done a comprehnesive write up on stammering, based on Keith's interview. You too can write to news-papers & dailies in your cities and talk about what it means to stammer and how self-help can change our perspective..
We must talk to the outside world if we want the world to become a better place for our children :-)) (assuming we do get married eventually!)
www.livemint.com/stammering.htm

Delhi SHG fund raising

Hi,

It was a great SHG on Sunday (7th Feb 2010). Aakash, Anuj, Arun, Sikander, Zoraver, Kishore and myself had come for the meeting. 1st of all, I would really like to thanks and appreciate the efforts of Kishore for booking the Conference hall & accomodation for Keith. He, all by himself did all the arrangements and coordinated with everyone. Thanks Kishore. The we had a nice meeting. I wanted to make a point that by hiding & fearing our stammering how lazy & procrastinated we had become. We had forgotten our real motives.........to be healthy, successful and free. Also, we have got few donations from our friends. The list is as follows:

Kishore	Rs 4412 + Rs 1000 refund security
Zoraver	Rs 1000
Anuj	Rs 1500
Sikander	Rs 2000

I believe Nitin has also received some donations. (Ed. Nitin will soon be putting it up on donation page on stammer.in)

All in all, we all are making progress. And by God's grace, we all will go places and then stammering wont be that important to us.

Regards

Deepak Sanothra

Bangalore SHG meeting on 07-Feb-2010

Written by: Tanoy Battacharjee

A chilled morning waited for us once again. I reached the spot by 10.40 AM. Vinay had already arrived and was waiting for company. Soon, Amit also joined. Amit told no other member would be with us for the meeting. As our normal place was already occupied (as Sudhi was not there, we missed the place), we sat on the greenfield nearby and frankly it was better than our normal place.

Today, first time I saw Amit struggling with his speech like HELL!! The reason being, he was stressed out for the previous weeks for 'knowledge transfer' seminars. Then, Amit told us about the Breathing exercise and Auto-suggestion which was suggested by Pune SHG member who visited last meet.
Breathing Exercise: We shall take deep breath and exhale. While we take breath IN, our stomach should expand like filling gas in a balloon and while we breathe OUT, stomach shall go IN.

Auto -Suggestion: This technique was learned by Amit at one of the PB session. It says along with the breathing exercise, we say in our mind that our body is relaxing starting from feet to mind, like "My feet are relaxing”. It is the one which is helping me stand. I am feeling new wave of current flowing through it. I can feel flow of blood through my nerves. Now, as I move up... to Knees.... and things like that

We did the above mentioned methods for 15-20min, before starting the normal SHG activities like Introduction, Talk on various Topics, About Keith's Visit etc.

I explained about my project which I am handling at office. Vinay told about the new project he got at BEL and the seminar which he has to give. Amit gave inputs from the Leather technologies. He also suggested Vinay to give some presentation in the next meet before going for his final presentation and He agreed. We dispersed by 1.15pm.

This meet was a fruitful one for me as I was doing the Breathing exercise quite the opposite way and may be therefore not getting the desired result.

Attendance: Tanoy, Amit, Vinay
New Activity: Proper breathing exercise and Auto-Suggestion.

Herbertpur SHG

Venue: 7th Feb 2010: Anugrah, Herbertpur.
Participants: Vineet, Amaan, Pawan, Raju, Nishu and Sachin.
Nishu had brought a lot of news paper cuttings. These were given to participants- they studied them for 5 minutes and then made a 3-4 minute presentation on their own (no looking down at the piece of paper) - and then, gave their"critical" opinion- standing in the centre of the room, with no lectern to hide behind. Later on, sachin / pawan asked them questions too. Most participants used bouncing, pausing or prolongation during presentation.

As we discussed later- the focus was not just on communicating the content effectively but also developing "critical thinking skills". There was a news item from Tiuni, about shortage of water and villagers protesting. So, Pawan asked the presenter: do you agree with the villagers' reaction? If the Water supply officials fail to act- what else could villagers do? More protest? boycott elections? self help? why? In other words, dont just share information, but take a stand for or against, think deeply and then argue back- all, very CALMLY.

R has a tendency to give others negative feedback, unasked. Sachin checked him and explained to him some golden rules about giving feedback (for ex. never give feedback unless the other person asks for it at least thrice! Give at least 5 positive feedback for one negative..etc.).
Then, we shared Ti-ger analogy and did some voluntary stuttering. R is a rooky. His third visit only. So he had some questions about voluntary stuttering. Pawan and sachin discussed it at some depth. About three hours had passed before we called it a day, after lot of fun.

TA & PAC

Transactional analysis (TA) is a useful way of understanding communication and intentions (often subconscious) behind it: a social psychology developed by Eric Berne, MD. It helps us to understand why sometime some of us dissatisfied with the communication itself or its outcomes. Harish has offered some very interesting examples of TA in the context of SHG of PWS:

"..I was thinking of taking this idea further. I mean, talking in different
situations. Like, when we went to the handicrafts exhibition, we were in the
adult mode (or the equal status mode), if not a "pack leader" mode. A member of
our SHG suggested that we should have powperpoint presentations as an activity.
This will be speaking in the "Leader" or "Parent" mode.

I have a cousin who is a Child specialist Doctor (Paediatrician). He too dealt
with stammering. He showed willingness to interact with our SHG members. If we
have an interaction session with him, ask him questions about his profession,
how he dealt with stammering, and his medical knowledge about child stammering,
we will be talking in the "Child" mode.

Another of my cousin (a lady, who's also interested in social activities) also
wanted to interact with our SHG. Again, our SHG members can educate her on
stammering. She may have some questions for us. We can answer her. Also, talking
to a fluent person (and belonging to opposite gender) will be a good exercise.
Educating her on stammering, we'll be speaking in a mixed mode - "Leader" and
"Adult" mode together..."

You can read here the full post by him:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/IndianPWS/message/5334

If you want to read more about TA:
http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/ta.htm

Just plain Stammering ?

• Disorientation and inability to focus attention, e.g. on where one is in a presentation.
• A feeling of having forgotten one's craft, e.g. words, basic knowledge.
• Subjective feeling of loss of control - the brain 'goes blank' and the head is 'swimming'.
• Constant worry about the inability to perform successfully.
• A feeling of being alone or deserted.
• A sense of desperation at not having the power to deal with the event.
• A feeling of paralysis and inability to act, in which the body feels inert.
• A desire to escape or sabotage the event.
• A desperation to come to the end and get it all over with.
• An anticipation of failure and humiliation in front of others who expect success.

When I read the above list, I said- this is our good old stammering being described. But I was surprised to know that all these are experienced by 'normal' people and is called 'Performance anxiety'. This online chapter on 'performance confidence' is an excellent read for PWS:
http://www.thestage.co.uk/connect/acblack/confidenceae.php

Further down this same article explains how PWS can help themselves with a 'mental switch' in their mindset: the moment they decide to talk about their stammering to people around them to educate and spread awareness- they are no more victims- but 'rescuers'; read carefully this excerpt from the same chapter:

"The perception of the performer suffering from anxiety is that the performer is the 'victim' and the audience or one's fellow performers are the 'persecutor'. In this case there are useful switches that can immediately improve the situation. If the performer acts more like a teacher, trainer or all-round educator of the audience, then the performer can feel more like the 'rescuer'... The key is to avoid the victim role, and consequently its emotional quality of fear and vulnerability."

Thank you Andrew Evans! I always knew that I was on to something when I started 'my' SHG with 3 pws some years ago..

Another way of meeting each other..

Hi All,
Meeting your friends face to face in a SHG meeting- nothing like that of course. But in case you miss it some time- remember, you can meet online too!

There would be meet online daily by 9pm to 10pm on daily basis in Skype. Going ahead we can see the strength and interest of the group and schedule it according to that.

The team would be split into 4 member team and people can interact. This is done so, because everyone would get an opportunity to interact.

You can add Karthik (aishkarthik) in the skype and things can take taken forward from that stage.

Advantage of doing this exercise is the more you interact with new people, the more you get confidence on yourself which in turn improves your communication skills.

Come join.. Dont miss this opportunity.

regards
Karthik.R

Just in case you did not realise...

Keith is sharing very valuable experiences and thoughts at:
http://stammer.in/forums/topic/44-Keithanswersyourqueries12thto24thFeb.html

Check it out and come up with your thoughts, concerns, comments and questions..
sachin

Bangalore SHG meeting on 31-Jan-2010

By the time I reached Cubbon Park, I received a call from Amith telling Manohar from Pune was in Bangalore and that he would be coming with him by 10.30. I went to the hut where we meet, but some people were sitting there. I also occupied a seat in the hut and began to read the newspaper. I completed the newspaper and still nobody from our team was seen. It was 10.40 and I was getting bored. By this time the other people in the hut left the place and Amith came with Manohar.

We started the activities by getting to know each other. Manohar came to Bangalore to attend the wedding of his friend and decided to attend the SHG as he was free in the morning. We asked him about the activities done by Pune SHG and he told they started the proceedings by doing some relaxation exercises and meditation. The rest of the activities were the same as those done by us.

Though we thought only three of us would be there for the meeting, Pramod joined us soon and we decided to start the activities by self introduction as Manohar was new to us. It was followed by a discussion on the concept of acceptance. It was one of the most misunderstood concepts and the participants felt that the concept was not properly communicated. Acceptance meant accepting the stammering and not trying to hide it. It also meant that you were not ashamed of stammering, but you would work on improving the communication skill.

It was followed by extempore speeches. Manohar spoke about the changes in Bangalore from 2005. He was working in Bangalore at that time. Pramod spoke about the activities of the last three weeks. I spoke about my college days and Amith spoke about his most favorite movie. He told he liked Persian movies as they were very close to real life.

Then we decided to have a walk in the park. Manohar told his father had told him to go to Cubbon Park and he decided to take some snaps to show his father. We took some snaps, had some fruit juice from a vendor and took a stroll around the Park. We dispersed by around 12.45.

Stammering Stars

We have heard of so many celebrities who stammer. Biggest name in India - Hrithik Roshan. But there are some more - Rowan Atkinson (of the Mr. Bean fame), Ed Ball (British Minister for Labour). I've also come across on internet about Dilip Kumar, Paresh Rawal, Kishore Kumar also being prey to the same problem.

I learned about Ed Ball's stammering woes just recently on TISA blog. Everytime I come across any information about any celebrity or public figure with a stammer, the first thing I rush to do is to catch a video and see him talk (Youtube has always been helpful to me - thanks to google). Everytime I see them talk, I see no trace (not even slightest) of stammer. They talk like they never had a stammer ever! They talk like those fluent people.

As PWS, we know that stammering is not curable. Curable as in - no medical or clinical treatment is available. This implies that it cannot be eliminated completely. What we have to do is, manage our stammer while talking. And we all do it. But however we try, that small trace of stammering (even 1%) always remains. People still notice that speck of disfluency. How then do these stammering "stars" talk in front of the camera as if they never had stammering? How does Ed Ball or Rowan Atkinson speak with no stammering at all? How can Hrithik Roshan deliver a very fast dialog delivery ( movies like Kabhi khushi kabhi gham, Koi mil gaya ), with no disfluency at all? What do these celebrities do differently that we do not?

I am sure many PWS have the same question. How can these celebrities talk as if they have completely eliminated their stammer?

Bangalore SHG meeting on 24-Jan-2010

Write up by Pramod

Just rode through Cubbon park and there was this fine chirping of the leaves on a sunny Sunday! I happened to be the first to the meet. Well I was the first for a very long time and it made me feel a bit unusual! Anxiety just tripped down when I saw Sudheendran jogging his way to the spot. Laughed, cracked joke(s), discussed stuff, time pass, these were some serious things we did till our Karthik the Theater came.

The session went with just three of us but it was fun. This time the items were random and there was usual Karthik's humor flowing at the end. This time we discussed some issues like our own selves acknowledging the fact that we get laughter at our condition! Stammering sometimes makes us laugh acknowledging what wonderful beings we are when depicting the human in us. How important it is for us to lead a great life and how these postponements and the tricks we use-when looked upon as audience are so so so very fun and humorous! These kinds of stuff went on for the session and it was a nice learning experience once again!!!

Take care all of you
Pramod

Write up by Sudheendran

Contrary to usual practice, this week, Pramod was already waiting for me when I reached Cubbon Park. Amith had already informed his unavailability. Tanoy could not be reached over the phone and Kartik 1 was into some meeting and was also not available. We thought of contacting Kartik2 and surprisingly he told he was on the way. He joined us soon and we started the activities by indulging in some casual discussions.

Kartik2 suggested practicing belly breathing and it was followed by a discussion on the technique itself. After that we practiced the technique.

By that time Pramod bought some snacks and we decided to practice speaking without rushing by having a bite before talking. We asked each other some questions and he was supposed to answer them after having the bite. Though most of us forgot to have the bite before answering, it was fun.

It was followed by some more casual discussions and we dispersed at 12.30 PM.